Relief & Grief.....and divorcing by choice, even though you still love your spouse?

[checkoutat10]

I have been alternating lately between relief and grief at the idea of the end of my marriage. I assume this is a normal part of the process but for so many years, I only felt grief at the thought of divorce. Here lately, I feel a combination of both grief but also RELIEF. Relief at no longer having to feel as though any attempts to reconcile are futile and a waste of time. Relief at no longer having to lie to myself and others about our happy marriage. Relief at the prospect of finally breaking free and being able to live my life the way I want to live it.

 

I have struggled so long with "how will I know it's the right thing to do" and "am I giving up too soon?", back and forth I would go back and forth with these questions, driving myself crazy with them. But now, I feel clarity. This *is* the right decision, and it is a weightless feeling!

 

I love my husband, I really do. But we are so incompatible any more that it is destroying us and destroying our children. I can't even remember a holiday in the past several years that hasn't been ruined by our selfish arguing and fighting. Oh how I look forward to a peaceful holiday!

 

I am also struggling with an EA (PA?) that I found out about earlier this year, and I am REALLY looking forward to letting that go right along with him. I can't even look at him anymore without wondering about her.

 

I don't really know the purpose of this post, other than to just let it out and see if any of you experienced the same things.

[Decisiontomake]

Wow. I had all those questions too! You can read my back story should you care to. You're in the right place to gain any support, or just write your feelings out as you chose.

[carhill]

Argued much lately?

 

Think the D could be amicable?