Men: What's more intimate for you--Cuddling or holding hands?

[Xiang]

Cuddling is more intimate i guess :\. But i get better feels out of holding hands. (intensity)

Few others explained it better, i voted hand holding.

[Frank2thepoint]

Sh*t. I'm surprised more women prefer hand holding than cuddling. Might have to change my tactic in the future, just stick to hand holding a woman, and cuddling my pillow instead.

[Davey L]

Holding hands definitely. It gives such a strong sense of connection. fingers are very sensitive and you can transmit so many shades of feeling through them in exactly how you hold each other; it can be very expressive in a very private way even when you are in public.

[spiderowl]

If I HAD TO PICK ONE. I would pick Cuddling. Because everyone knows, spooning leads to forking.

 

and forking is not intimate??

[MissBee]

I can cuddle with a FWB. I probably would not hold their hands though while out.

 

To me holding hands is more intimate and more of a sign of protectiveness and being close when you're out in public and if you're not really into someone, me at least, I find it extremely weird to want to hold their hand.

 

Intimate here for me is about emotional openness and closeness and I think cuddling sometimes is a precursor to sex where people can cuddle with someone with an ulterior motive to get sex so it's not really that intimate but a kind of foreplay...whereas holding hands is usually intimate because often there is nothing to gain from it as it's usually done in public and automatically signals you're together and seems more about being comfortable with a partner than anything else.

[PaperCrane]

For me personally, it is holding hands. It makes anything more intimate. It is you reaching out, literally, to make contact with that person. Even with cuddling you can make it that much more intimate by holding their hand.

[LifeandPerseverance]

These are all really interesting perspectives.

 

 

I started this thread--a couple people who were on my thread will remember the situation--due to just wondering and being puzzled about a comment a guy I'm into made. "The holding of hands, the intertwining of fingers, is a really intimate gesture". Okay...But you spooned with me, til you fell asleep, without trying to grope me? And then you woke up, we moved, and you reached over and held me the same way, again. And then we woke up the next morning--the guy who has the hardest time waking up of any human being I've ever met and he even ADMITS how angry/grumpy he is in the morning, how much he hates waking up--and reaches across the bed, grabs me and starts spooning again. Because...THAT'S not intimate?

 

 

For me, from my female perspective, holding hands is something less intimate--it can be done out in public. It can be done on the first few dates, a metric to see if there is permission to kiss, or even if the woman is attracted to you. Spooning is not something you can do in public. It's not something you want your friends to catch you doing. I personally find giving someone access to being behind my back, where I can't see them, and trusting them to hold me, much more intimate and requiring of me to be open. Especially if it's cuddling or spooning just for the sake of cuddling.

[Els]

Yeah, I found this thread really interesting as well. Before the poll went up, I thought the results would be like 30-1 or something in favour of cuddling. Not 22-14!