gooner394 Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Hi guys, First post here so be gentle haha. Bit of background on me and this girl who I've been seeing, I'm 20 and she's 18. Met through a friend on a night out. Basically... I've been seeing this girl for the last 2 months and things were going amazing up until about a week ago. She was staying over 2/3 times a week and the chemistry - physically and emotionally - was there . . so I thought anyway. We had a minor argument over me not answering my phone when she was walking home from work as she thought I was intentionally ignoring her, and since then its all gone downhill. On numerous occasions she has said to me that she's falling for me and that she really likes me and all that jazz. She's even gone as far as asking me to not hurt her as she see's us lasting long distance. Well in the last week she has started to act distant to the point where we aren't talking anymore, and haven't done so for the past 3 days. The text messages went cold, any advance on my behalf to try and arrange a date has been knocked back (usually she'd jump at the chance to see me). I know I should walk away as I've been in this situation previously, but any advice (especially from you ladies out there) would be greatly appreciated. Been in a long term 3 year relationship so walking away isn't something that I'd be uncomfortable doing... Just wanting other peoples thoughts. Thanks Guys!!
Author gooner394 Posted December 1, 2014 Author Posted December 1, 2014 Sorry *Long term not distance. As in she see's us lasting over a long period of time.
preraph Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Well, since you think it all started with you not answering her every phone call, then you need to sit down with her and agree on some reasonable boundaries as far as phone calls and texting goes. Maybe when she's walking home from work isn't a convenient time for you to take a call just because it is the most convenient time for her. You need to work out those details. Seems like since people began texting, the amount of "keeping in touch" contact has just really gotten to be a lot more and some people just don't see why you won't text them back and forth all day every day. You need to explain to her that there are always going to be times when you're in working or in the middle of something and it's not a good time to chat. Maybe you agree to limit your work hours phone calls to lunchtime or maybe you limit them to emergencies only. But sit down and tell her you want to work with her to make a plan you can both live with and hammer out the details. She sounds extremely insecure to be protecting herself and pulling away from one missed phone call -- and pretty immature. She is only 18 and probably only recently began working and was probably used to random all day texting with friends before that. If she doesn't stop it at work, she will not keep a job very long.
CarrieT Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Sorry *Long term not distance. As in she see's us lasting over a long period of time. That's because she is 18 years old and truly has no clue what an adult, intelligent and mature relationship is like. Chalk it up to youth and realize that girls - and many guys - act like this when figuring out how to have adult relationships. Trust me, it would not have lasted because there would have been other drama and issues. Continue to date and have fun, but don't look for "long term" for another half-dozen years AT LEAST.
Author gooner394 Posted December 1, 2014 Author Posted December 1, 2014 Thanks guys, I'm putting a lot of it down to her being both emotionally inexperienced aswell as immature (not to say I'm not haha). Well she works nights (finishing at 3am normally) whilst I work a normal 8 - 5 job so talking at that time isn't ideal for me. Just curious how someone can do a complete 180 turn without any hesitations or indications on why. Would you guys just suggest to go complete no contact and ignore any future advances made on her end?
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