jmc3589 Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Hey guys, so I've been dating this girl for about 2 weeks now, we had our fifth date and things went really well. We ended up back at my place making out for a long time before having sex for the first time. So she had taken down her profile after our fourth successful date, and she asked if I would too which with things going as well as they had I did because I saw some real potential and am not one to date around so to speak. Well after the amazing fifth date I dropped her off at her place and we kissed, she told me what an amazing time she had and we even set up a 6th date for later in the week great right?? But this morning a buddy of mine, who uses the same dating site as I had been using, mentioned to me that her profile was back online?? Any thoughts on this???
Author jmc3589 Posted December 1, 2014 Author Posted December 1, 2014 I texted her just a little while ago, with fun joking flirty text like we always do and just waiting for a response, how should I got about asking her??
PegNosePete Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Why not check the dating site to see if it's true, first? Your buddy could be mistaken, or playing with you.
Author jmc3589 Posted December 1, 2014 Author Posted December 1, 2014 I did after he told me and it showed up as online :/ I mean idk maybe I'm freaking out over nothing but just thought it was weird you would turn it back on again??
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Just be honest. It's best to just lay things out on the line as soon as possible rather than engage in game playing or tippy-toe around issues. The fact that SHE initiated the taking down of your OLD profiles and then (supposedly) still has it up warrants a candid conversation. Start by letting her know how much you've enjoyed getting to know her and spending time with her. If you want for things to be exclusive then ask if that's what she wants as well. If she hesitates, you have your answer. If she echoes your sentiments then it's time to have that uncomfortable conversation about what you know. The key is NOT to attack her but rather to come at it from the perspective that you "thought" you were on the same page about things and if you're not, she needs to be honest with you. Good luck. 3
Author jmc3589 Posted December 1, 2014 Author Posted December 1, 2014 Yea I'm thinking I'm gonna go that direction, I feel like it's just awkward to bring up exclusivity at 2 weeks? I mean we never officially had any exclusivity talk, and I didn't exactly think taking down a dating profile counts as exclusivity. I don't want to come off as desperate either.
Poppygoodwill Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 The thing is, you're not bringing up exclusivity - she did. When she asked you if you were taking down your profile, she raised the topic and set an expectation that she would take hers down as well. The fact that it's back up again is worth asking about. Has she changed her mind? Are you under a false expectation? 2
oberkeat Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 I'm not sure what to make of her actions. Maybe she went to see if you had actually taken your profile down? Maybe her feelings about you have changed since she suggested going exclusive? We have no idea without more info on her end. You need to discuss it with her in person. Don't be accusatory or confrontational when you bring it up.
Author jmc3589 Posted December 1, 2014 Author Posted December 1, 2014 Hrmmm no answer yet :/ she never takes this long to respond either, didn't mention anything about the online status or anything just sent the playful good morning text we ususally do
d0nnivain Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Wait for her to get back to you then talk to her in person. Start from the idea that your buddy was mistaken. Don't accuse just talk. Let her see some vulnerability on your end & make sure you tell her that you want to be exclusive. This stuff can be scary so somebody has to be brave & go 1st.
Author jmc3589 Posted December 1, 2014 Author Posted December 1, 2014 Well now I'm confused as all hell...got a reply from her with a very revealing selfie bragging about how she got to sleep in and her profile is back down again...I still plan on bringing the topic up again on our next date but boy dating is a confusing and fickle beast lol
Dallers Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Just dropped off a girl at the garbage dump who was doing the same to me fella. She seemed royally into me but has a major online dating addiction. Literally lives on there 24/7 and even though it was outstanding between us and in the bedroom it was destroying what we had. Hopefully there is an explanation for you but people are addicted to OLD it is like instant access to unlimited attention from the opposite sex. Modern dating for ya. 1
d0nnivain Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 She sent you a sexy pic. That is a good thing. Her profile is back down. Another good thing. Talk sweetly & softly. Be happy that the profile is down again. Make sure she knows you are happy about moving forward with her. Confirm she is on the same page. Perhaps start to firm up your NYE plans.
Leroy82 Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 (edited) You're over thinking things. Just talk to her. But do it in a way that won't make you sound paranoid because you'll just scare her off. Even though you are paranoid. A person's mind can really "F" things up. Make things worse then what they really are. Trust me on that!! Its only been two weeks. Just go with it and have fun. Don't let your running mind mess things up for you. The minute she sees you has paranoid she's going to dumb you. Edited December 1, 2014 by Leroy82
mysteryscape Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 You need to have a candid talk with her about what's bothering you and where you stand. Depending on the response, you may want to continue or you may want to move on.
Author jmc3589 Posted December 1, 2014 Author Posted December 1, 2014 Thanks guys, welp profile is back up again...idk I guess Ill just ride it out until our date this weekend and see where things go from there...this is just frustrating
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Thanks guys, welp profile is back up again...idk I guess Ill just ride it out until our date this weekend and see where things go from there...this is just frustrating Again, we can't read her mind so if you like this girl and want a future with her, you're going to have to ask the hard questions. Personally, from the few things you said about her AND the fact that she flips from being online and offline faster than a Mexican jellybean, raises some red flags. If I had to take a wild guess, she sounds like someone who needs and enjoys A LOT of attention. Tread carefully my friend. 1
Chemist Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Could be several things. I'd call it quits. Multidating. telling guys that she found someone. Maybe she had friends she wanted to send last messages too.. maybe she wants hook ups before she goes exclusive with you... For me, after she initiates removing the profile, and then doesn't go through is enough for me to tell her to shove off. 1
Leroy82 Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 I wouldn't call it quits until you talk to her. What Belle said is correct. Also, You never know. Maybe she has it up because she feels you don't really like her and she keeping her guard up because she's not sure about you. Again, like I said on my last comment, "don't let your mind run crazy". If its bothering you then talk to her. If she gives you some half assed answer or does the opposite of what she's doing (lying to you), then maybe she's not the girl you think she is. But at least you found out before you invested more time into this. Keep us posted. I kinda want to know what's she's thinking My life kinda sucks right now. I'm living through you all. lol
Author jmc3589 Posted December 1, 2014 Author Posted December 1, 2014 Will definitely keep you guys posted! She keeps responding talking about how excited she is for our next date, so that's good news I guess. At this point I just closed mine and up said screw it, If I keep checking I'm gonna drive myself crazy and get in my own way. I'm gonna keep texting her throughout the week and have that awesome date over the weekend and I'll bring it up then. Idk if I'll really mention the profile thing, but I'll just talk about how I've enjoyed these few weeks so much and would like to just know if it's going somewhere a little more exclusive. 1
Leroy82 Posted December 2, 2014 Posted December 2, 2014 I'm just curious. What are your ages? Do you two have kids?
Author jmc3589 Posted December 2, 2014 Author Posted December 2, 2014 Oh we're young lol im 27 and she's 23 1
Author jmc3589 Posted December 4, 2014 Author Posted December 4, 2014 So a minor update here, we confirmed our dinner date at my place for tomorrow at 8. She's been texting me every day this week, she started two days in a row with a good morning text with a kiss face, and she always ends the evenings with a kiss face goodnight text so I'm guessing that's a good sign lol. She said she can't wait for tomorrow so all signs point to good things I guess?? I was going to bring up the topic of where we stand/what is this type of conversation after dinner when we're cuddled up watching a movie. Good idea??
Darth_Matt Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 I think you're over thinking all this. Anytime would be a good time. You're not asking for her to move in with you or do you want to have children tonight. Just nicely bring up the online profiles. And see what she say's.
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