Met the perfect guy, but are things moving too fast? When to become exclusive?

[beach_girl]

Hi guys,

 

So this is going to be a long post.

 

I've met this guy on OKC about three months ago and we've been chatting every day ever since (no phone call yet).

 

We finally met for the first time two weeks ago. We spent two hours chatting over coffee and we hit it off. With previous OKC guys, I felt on the fence about a second date, but I couldn't wait to see this guy again. He hugged me tightly when I left, and he later made his interest clear in a text message, telling me he was very impressed. We have been in contact every day since this date.

 

Fast forward to date 2, which was this past Saturday (can't see him every weekend because he works alternate weekends). We went for a movie and watched a rugby match, and bumped into his sister. He then invited me to a birthday dinner that his sister was attending that same night. Up until this point, no physical touch except for the few times he would pull my chair close to his and some shoulder touches.

 

Obviously he knew a lot of the people at the dinner. His sister later joined us at our side of the table to chat a bit. So while we were at the dinner, he started to hold my hand and placing it on my knee. I reciprocated. He also made sure that I was comfortable the whole night, and he tried to engage me in the conversation.

 

When we got to the car at the end of the night, he proceeded to kiss me for the first time (with tongue, but I enjoyed it). Didn't quite expect the kiss to be so passionate, and it lasted a while. We kissed multiple times.

 

The next day, he asked me to be his date to sister's wedding next year. I didn't even know she was getting married.

 

My logic keeps telling me that things are moving quite fast with this guy, but I am not afraid at all. My heart says GO FOR IT!!!! He is confident, never needy, always respects me and even gives me small inexpensive gifts (e.g. a plant that I mentioned in passing - he works in the botany industry).

 

I guess I just wanted to know if you think this is all moving too fast? Or am I just feeling this way because I have been out of the dating game for a while? He's not pressuring me into anything and he knows I won't have sex with him (waiting for marriage), and he understands because he is a Christian as well. He is also an active member of his church's youth group, and attends church and a small bible study group every week. He seems to everything I wanted in a partner.

 

I am also quite sure that he'll be asking me to become exclusive relatively soon. How soon do you think would be too soon?

 

Thanks for reading through this long post Needless to say, I'm quite excited.

[PegNosePete]

Too soon: is before you're ready to say "yes".

 

There is no generic answer to these question that you have asked. Human interpersonal relationships have no "rules".

 

If you want to be exclusive and so does he, then who cares what other people do, or whether they think it is too soon or not? Every relationship is unique.

[d0nnivain]

I don't think it's too soon to talk about exclusivity. I do think it's too soon for him to have asked you to his sister's wedding next year. That would have freaked me out. It's too much for 2 dates & a few kisses. That said, because he already asked you to the wedding, I suspect he thinks you are exclusive already. I would formalize those beliefs however.

[TheyCallMeOx]

How soon is "too soon" is subjective. You could get married in three weeks if you wanted to, but the feeling has to be mutual, and it's gotta be something you're both comfortable doing.

[preraph]

Well, I can see why the sister's wedding would freak you out this soon, but the fact is he was going to need a date to the wedding and he doesn't have a long-term girlfriend to take and he likes you. Don't make more of it than it is. His invite probably said "Plus one" or "and date." He didn't want to bring his best friend who does the alligator on the dance floor.

[mysteryscape]

Whenever you both feel it is the right time. "Exclusive" -- a word I don't really like -- doesn't have to mean forever. At this stage, to me it simply means that you intend to have a romantic relationship which will be your sole romantic relationship unless and until one of you changes your mind. In fact, it seems completely natural to me if you both feel you are in a "romantic relationship." It means you want to nurture that relationship to give it every chance to succeed and progress. If you both want it, go for it! I wouldn't worry about the wedding business -- it may even show he has serious and probably honorable (a really old-fashioned concept) intentions.

[tobrieornottobrie]

Have you had a conversation with him about it being exclusive? Has he brought that up at all? Have you prayed about it? Have you talked to any trusted friends and/or family members about it, or have any of them met him? Just some things to consider. Blessings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the brie's cheese knees