alexwood Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 if yout just dating a girl not taking it really seious at first and you start falling for her should you tell her that you love her and want it to become serious? or wait for her to say that?
BikerAccnt Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 I wouldn't say I love her UNLESS I was already serious. Love is a strong word to throw out there, especially early in a relationship. 1
Author alexwood Posted December 1, 2014 Author Posted December 1, 2014 I wouldn't say I love her UNLESS I was already serious. Love is a strong word to throw out there, especially early in a relationship. alot of people say guys shouldnt say it first
sillyanswer Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 if yout just dating a girl not taking it really seious at first and you start falling for her should you tell her that you love her and want it to become serious? or wait for her to say that? I don't think that loving her and wanting it to become serious are necessarily things that would happen in the same conversation, or things that would happen to my feelings at the same time, but apart from that I don't really see why you shouldn't say what you want. If it turns out to be not what she wants and she leaves then you just discovered that you don't want the same things which is a great reason for not being together any more.
BikerAccnt Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 alot of people say guys shouldnt say it first That's just silly. Doesn't matter who says it first, if you feel it, and you want to say it. Just say it. In the OP's case though, he said he just started dating her, that would be too soon to feel it, let alone say it, IMO.
mammasita Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 If you've only been dating for, say, 2 weeks NO - don't say it - IMHO, that's way too soon and can come off as creepy. If you've been dating pretty seriously for a 3-4 months then go for it if you feel it. This seems backwards to me: I Love you, lets get serious is the wrong order. You become serious first then love happens. 1
Brimstone Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 If you feel it, say it. If you don't, don't.
Redhead14 Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 I don't think that loving her and wanting it to become serious are necessarily things that would happen in the same conversation, or things that would happen to my feelings at the same time, but apart from that I don't really see why you shouldn't say what you want. If it turns out to be not what she wants and she leaves then you just discovered that you don't want the same things which is a great reason for not being together any more. You have to take it in steps. You should let her know that you want to be exclusive, or if you already are, the next step would be to declare that you and she are boyfriend and girlfriend. Stay in that mode for a few months, then if you still feel you are in love with her, then you can say it. However, until then I would focus on her actions and words until you are fairly confident of what her feelings toward you are. If she's behaving and showing you in ways that demonstrate that her feelings are similar, you tell her. If you're not sure, I'd wait a little longer. Patience and timing are key. In the meantime, you show her in every way, without saying it, that you do love her.
DirtyHairy Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Have the "let's be in an exclusive/serious relationship" talk first. After a while tell her you love her. There is NOTHING wrong with the guy saying it first. I've only been in love twice and I (a guy) said I love you first in both situations. Sometimes you can't hold it in because you just want to tell them. Make sure you tell them its okay if they don't feel the same right now tho. You don't want to force them to say it back if they aren't ready. Its a great feeling tho and its worth it to say it first.
d0nnivain Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Exclusivity should probably come before the I love yous. The people who tell you not to say it first are playing power games. If you feel it, say it if you have been dating a while. Especially if you started out saying you only wanted casual, before you can change the rules, you do have to talk.
Author alexwood Posted December 1, 2014 Author Posted December 1, 2014 What if she dumps you before you can say it be cause she doesn't think you do love her
d0nnivain Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 What if she dumps you before you can say it be cause she doesn't think you do love her Then your relationship wasn't too strong & you have to let her go. Something like this happened to my husband years ago. He had a ring in his pocket & was going to propose to his then GF. Instead before he could pop the Q, she broke up with him because she didn't think he was serious enough about her or their future.
preraph Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Really, the man should say it first and the reason is because it should be backed up with an intention to be committed. If the woman says it first, it usually scares men off because they feel that's the woman asking for more commitment than they're ready to give. That may not be why the woman said it at all, but I know it scares a lot of men off. And if you do say it too soon, before you've had a chance to spend a lot of time to get to know someone, then the recipient knows you are just in love with love. But yes, like Donnivain says if you've been with her a few months, long enough to want exclusivity , then say it. I can't imagine she'd still be with you after say 4 months unless she'd be glad to hear those words.
Thegreatestthing Posted December 2, 2014 Posted December 2, 2014 My ex said it like after two weeks I was happy to hear it,he was a very passionate person though,and so am I so we were just riding the tide. More cautionary people might be put off.
bachdude Posted December 2, 2014 Posted December 2, 2014 if yout just dating a girl not taking it really seious at first and you start falling for her should you tell her that you love her and want it to become serious? or wait for her to say that? A lot of dating coaches for men will tell you not to say it first. I don't think it matters. Do keep in mind that many guys can fall in love quickly while many women take a little longer. When I have felt in love with a women, I admit to holding in the words until I sense she feels the same. I guess I've done this because when I say it I want it to be a special moment, not awkward. And if she is feeling the same way, then she can melt at your words, give you a big hug and kiss, and say it back, staring in your eyes. Worth the wait as far as I am concerned.
joebrowndown Posted December 2, 2014 Posted December 2, 2014 A lot of dating coaches for men will tell you not to say it first. I don't think it matters. Do keep in mind that many guys can fall in love quickly while many women take a little longer. When I have felt in love with a women, I admit to holding in the words until I sense she feels the same. I guess I've done this because when I say it I want it to be a special moment, not awkward. And if she is feeling the same way, then she can melt at your words, give you a big hug and kiss, and say it back, staring in your eyes. Worth the wait as far as I am concerned. i always wait dont wanna scare em off
Recommended Posts