drmrid13 Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Hi all. So, I have lingering feelings for someone who I went through a year-long connection with. The last I heard from him, he basically told me that I don't deserve to be treated badly, and that he doesn't want to skrew me over with a failed long-distance relationship attempt. He called me an "amazing babe," and (twice) he said he really does have feelings for me and wants to see me. So, from what I understand, he wants to see me, but he doesn't want to be committed to anything. What confuses me is that I never pushed for anything serious. This message came out of nowhere, too. All I texted was "Miss ya, hope to see you soon," and that was the message I got in return. I waited to respond (about a day) so that I could collect my thoughts, and I really still regret how I replied to the content of his message. I said that I would not have been happy if I did not try. I also said that I was sorry if it seemed as though I put any pressure on him for anything. I honestly do not remember what else I said, but the bottom line is that I basically folded and surrendered after I read the message. He never texted back, and it has been about two months since I last heard from him. I am wondering why he never responded. I can't stop thinking about him, and some days I really just feel ruined. I hate that I can't get the whole situation off of my mind. I also keep wondering if he ever thinks about me, or if he really meant that he had feelings for me. I haven't felt anything remotely close to how I feel for him...and trust me I have been through a lot of relationships and have learned how to control myself far better than I have in the past. I am just so hung up on this guy, and I KNOW I should move on, but I still can't believe that the connection was not 'real'. I wish I could articulate what went on between us... Can anyone give me some insight?
LostInLosingLove Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 He never texted back, and it has been about two months since I last heard from him. In this day and age with technology the way it is: if someone wants to get in touch, they will make it happen. I am wondering why he never responded. I also keep wondering if he ever thinks about me, or if he really meant that he had feelings for me. Please stop torturing yourself over this guy who can't even bother to contact you. You're just setting yourself up for a bigger fall if he finally does get in touch with some story... I still can't believe that the connection was not 'real'. I have a theory which is that maybe he died or got in a horrible accident and is unable to; a) use his limbs to contact you, b) in a coma, or c) suffers brain damage and can't remember your contact info. If those seem preposterous, what is the alternative? 1
StalwartMind Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 The funny and peculiar thing about life and people we meet, is that some relationship no matter how long or short, stay with us for a long time and in some cases for the rest of our life. I think that in cases where friendships and relationships end abruptly, it can feel very emotionally intense that someone you shared a special connection with, could end things so easily. It's very far from my own personality as I feel someone deserves a good explanation. The hardest thing to accept is that, some people simply just don't feel the need for that. Not to defend him either but at the very least he did say, you didn't deserve to be treated badly. The problem most likely is within him, and I would say that most people aren't cut for long-distance relationships. It takes a lot of effort to make things work and I guess for most people the lack of physical presence, gets to them in the end. Regardless of what the case is with this guy, he is very right in the sense that you don't deserve to be treated bad by him or anyone else in such a circumstance. This may be of little if at all any comfort at all, in this very moment for you, but the connection you felt with this guy, can be topped by someone else out there whom you just don't know of yet. That's not to take any credit away at all from what you had and experienced with him, it'll always be a unique part of your life. The task at hand is for you to accept that sometimes, no matter how right something felt or was for a period of time, some things are just not meant to be, at least for the time being. 1
Arient Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Hi all. So, I have lingering feelings for someone who I went through a year-long connection with. The last I heard from him, he basically told me that I don't deserve to be treated badly, and that he doesn't want to skrew me over with a failed long-distance relationship attempt. He called me an "amazing babe," and (twice) he said he really does have feelings for me and wants to see me. So, from what I understand, he wants to see me, but he doesn't want to be committed to anything. What confuses me is that I never pushed for anything serious. This message came out of nowhere, too. All I texted was "Miss ya, hope to see you soon," and that was the message I got in return. I waited to respond (about a day) so that I could collect my thoughts, and I really still regret how I replied to the content of his message. I said that I would not have been happy if I did not try. I also said that I was sorry if it seemed as though I put any pressure on him for anything. I honestly do not remember what else I said, but the bottom line is that I basically folded and surrendered after I read the message. He never texted back, and it has been about two months since I last heard from him. I am wondering why he never responded. I can't stop thinking about him, and some days I really just feel ruined. I hate that I can't get the whole situation off of my mind. I also keep wondering if he ever thinks about me, or if he really meant that he had feelings for me. I haven't felt anything remotely close to how I feel for him...and trust me I have been through a lot of relationships and have learned how to control myself far better than I have in the past. I am just so hung up on this guy, and I KNOW I should move on, but I still can't believe that the connection was not 'real'. I wish I could articulate what went on between us... Can anyone give me some insight? Seems to me that he's an honest and realistic guy. He might really like you, but he doesn't see himself being able to cope with LDR type. You should thank him for being very clear like that, save you a lot of possible heartache in the future. Also, he did you a favor by not replying or ending things abruptly, because if I were him, then I would do the same. Acting nice sometimes can bring you some false hope, which is actually harming you rather than doing you any good. Just gradually forget him, I know it's hard sometimes to convince ourselves that things don't work out when it should. But it takes two, and in this case, only one doesn't mean anything. If he's really that into making things work or really want things to work, then he would have contacted you. But he hasn't, and it spoke of the reality. 1
Recommended Posts