cetazo Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Dated my BF for 7 years, but we fought excessively over random things/little lies (never about infidelity, though). This is particularly true for the past year, where fights had been especially brutal leading to feelings of neglect, insecurities, misunderstandings and being taken for granted etc. One of our fights was 2 weeks ago. Although objectively he was actually in the wrong, he ended up hanging up on me (he has a temper and never actually wants to deal with issues). I called back, he hung up again. I haven't contacted him after that because he actually did this SAME thing 8 months ago, where I kept calling and he kept hanging up. He eventually picked up the phone 2 weeks after that fight, we met up and made up after he apologized. I had articulated to him how hurtful it was to go through the physical and mental agony of not knowing wtf was happening between us. I won't go into detail about how I felt, obviously everyone on his forum knows it feels like downright sh*t! What was weird about it though, is that although I thought he was walking away from me, he didn't actually necessarily come to that conclusion during that time he was ignoring me. But this time around, it feels different, like he's actually done. I would assume he remembers that it's WRONG to do this again considering what happened in the past, but he did it anyway. Also, I don't want to go into detail about how I know this, but I am pretty sure he has since visited this girl's place at night one time (ex-coworker)... don't know what he did, but it's possible he's rebounding. He also sent a message to one of his friends that was disrespectful to me because he casually complemented this said girl. This girl is not the reason for this breakup... I think he is just trying to keep himself busy/move on, but these actions are hurting me in the process. He changed his password, so I won't be able to stalk him now (actually a blessing), but it also indicates that he's trying to move on. I don't really know what to do. Part of me wants to move on, too, because it's obvious that history repeats itself and that the relationship just isn't the same. I want to forgive him, break up officially, and just be happy with the memories we've formed. The other side of me wants him to wake up and start acting right, but at the same time, do I want to keep being with someone that is capable of showing zero empathy towards me? I don't think I can ever be with him soon because I've already lost too much trust, I would be suspicious of anything he tells me. The ONLY way we would have a shot is if he genuinely makes a deliberate effort to change and work on our problems, and if he wakes up and realizes how much he loves me. Deep down, I obviously know I need to move on, but how can I if I don't even know if we're broken up for sure? Knowing him, he can probably go a VERY long time without feeling the need to contact me, because he is the type to run away from problems as opposed to running toward them (like me). How can I heal if I'm in this state of limbo? Part of me hasn't let go because I don't know if he has let go, and I keep getting flashbacks of our relationship which makes it harder for me emotionally. Do I contact him or just assume it's done and try to move on with my life?
Author cetazo Posted December 1, 2014 Author Posted December 1, 2014 Another reason why I can't seem to move on is because I want to ask him why he was at that girl's house and why he sent that message. It would suck if I found out he ended up rebounding without officially ending it, but at the same time, I just want to know what happened! I want a realistic assessment of our relationship. Yeah I guess I'm seeking "closure" but I think I'd find it easier to deal with the truth (even if it hurts) than uncertainty.
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