cptkurt Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 It always makes me feel inadequate. All they have to do is write something back to acknowledge they understood or got your message. Instead, often the reply is delayed hours, days, or even never replying at all.. Why do women do this? To make themselves feel superior? Or because they think they are playing the game of cat and mouse properly? I find it extremely rude and makes me lose interest immediately.
E-Squared Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 I think it's worse when women give the brief message that has only a maximum of five words. It doesn't leave anything open for conversation.
Mangina Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 I think they do it because they are not interested. 3
Author cptkurt Posted December 1, 2014 Author Posted December 1, 2014 I think they do it because they are not interested. It is NOT that simple.
KatZee Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 It always makes me feel inadequate. Why does a complete stranger have this much effect on your feeling adequate? Your confidence comes from within. Not from external sources. All they have to do is write something back to acknowledge they understood or got your message. We don't have to do anything. Why do you need some sort of confirmation that a message was received? For whatever reason, people can decide not to respond to your message. Why do women do this? To make themselves feel superior? Or because they think they are playing the game of cat and mouse properly? Men do this as well. Not responding to a message has nothing to do with "feeling superior" or "playing a game of cat and mouse." Believe me, if someone doesn't respond to your message, they DON'T want to be chased, and they are not playing games. They are simply UNINTERESTED, and it doesn't really matter why. It could be your appearance, it could be whatever you have written in your profile. For me personally, I only respond to men I am physically attracted to. There is literally NO POINT in responding to a message when you're not interested in the person sending that message. Most people don't online date to find a friend, a text buddy, or to have pointless conversation that will go absolutely no where after a few messages. I find it extremely rude and makes me lose interest immediately. You need thicker skin for online dating. And it doesn't really matter if you lose interest in the person who hasn't responded. They were never interested in you to begin with. 2
Author cptkurt Posted December 1, 2014 Author Posted December 1, 2014 You need thicker skin for online dating. And it doesn't really matter if you lose interest in the person who hasn't responded. They were never interested in you to begin with. I appreciate your response but I have experienced this in scenarios other than online dating. I had a girl giggling like crazy, she went home and looked me up on FB, added me, and when I messaged her she didn't respond...
kolleamm Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Thicker skin won't help, you need an iron suit. 1
KatZee Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 I appreciate your response but I have experienced this in scenarios other than online dating. I had a girl giggling like crazy, she went home and looked me up on FB, added me, and when I messaged her she didn't respond... Oh well. I don't say this to be a dick, but seriously, oh well. You met her one night, and spent what? 3 hours total with her? Who cares what she thinks or why she never responded. Not everyone you encounter in life is going to reciprocate your interest. I'm going to go ahead and say the MAJORITY of people you encounter aren't going to reciprocate. That's just how it is. It's hard to find a real connection with people these days. 1
Author cptkurt Posted December 1, 2014 Author Posted December 1, 2014 Oh well. I don't say this to be a dick, but seriously, oh well. You met her one night, and spent what? 3 hours total with her? Who cares what she thinks or why she never responded. Not everyone you encounter in life is going to reciprocate your interest. I'm going to go ahead and say the MAJORITY of people you encounter aren't going to reciprocate. That's just how it is. It's hard to find a real connection with people these days. Maybe I'm more desperate than these women, but I'll at least entertain a conversation. Why discard someone without knowing anything at all about them? It just seems unfair. I'm a really good person but if nobody ever gives me a chance I'm doomed. I'm also awful at texting and it makes me very nervous. I don't text/call hardly anyone so that one number gets me excited and it's an ultra let down when not two words are exchanged.
KatZee Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Maybe I'm more desperate than these women, but I'll at least entertain a conversation. Why discard someone without knowing anything at all about them? It just seems unfair. I'm a really good person but if nobody ever gives me a chance I'm doomed. I'm also awful at texting and it makes me very nervous. I don't text/call hardly anyone so that one number gets me excited and it's an ultra let down when not two words are exchanged. Life isn't fair. No one owes you a conversation, no one HAS to get to know you. In this one post alone you call yourself desperate, you give off nothing but a negative vibe, you put yourself down, you have anxiety/nerves (which probably comes off awkward or uncomfortable), you're anti-social by not reaching out to people. I'm sure your personality traits are visible to other people. These things are huge turn-offs. Instead of worrying why you're so "doomed," try working on yourself and changing a few things.
KatZee Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 For women you should be patient. you do not have the patience it will be difficult to find out about them. they are very delicate women. Women are not obligated to do anything. To say we "should" do something is a huge issue on your end. Never use the word "should" in ANY situation. The second you start saying things like: You should do this, You should be this way, You should act like this, You should, should, should... you've lost. Why "should" we be patient? Perhaps it has nothing to do with being patient at all. It's called DISINTEREST. When a woman is INTERESTED in a man, it doesn't matter how slow it's going. That woman will stick around. It's almost pathetic how long a woman will stick around when she's very interested in a man. If he's showing interest, and she reciprocates his interest, she will stick around. 2
nofeelings22 Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 It always makes me feel inadequate. All they have to do is write something back to acknowledge they understood or got your message. Instead, often the reply is delayed hours, days, or even never replying at all.. Why do women do this? To make themselves feel superior? Or because they think they are playing the game of cat and mouse properly? I find it extremely rude and makes me lose interest immediately. Don't take it personally. They may have... Missed the mesage Not had enough free time to write back to anyone they aren't interested in Hate being on the site and only reply to 1 or 2 Etc.. In any case, don't worry about it and find another one. If they are short on time, they don't owe you a response if it's a first contact, or even if you sent pictures and they didn't like them.
cif Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Those interested will reply, all others dont matter. 5
nofeelings22 Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Women are not obligated to do anything. To say we "should" do something is a huge issue on your end. Never use the word "should" in ANY situation. The second you start saying things like: You should do this, You should be this way, You should act like this, You should, should, should... you've lost. Why "should" we be patient? Perhaps it has nothing to do with being patient at all. It's called DISINTEREST. When a woman is INTERESTED in a man, it doesn't matter how slow it's going. That woman will stick around. It's almost pathetic how long a woman will stick around when she's very interested in a man. If he's showing interest, and she reciprocates his interest, she will stick around. You read his post wrong. He is telling the OP to go slowly. And he's right. I've said it several times here to guys... women are like cats. Getting one to come over to you takes a certain something that is hard to explain, but any sudden movements and you've blown it completely. Take your time, It's good advice he gave. 1
Leigh 87 Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 OR some girls like me don't play those games. If I want to text someone I text. If the guy tapers off with his frequency of texts, I merely match him. I don't go longer than he does without texting though, I simply mirror a guys frequency. I don't deliberately not reply. Who needs to constantly text throughout the day though? It is nice once in a while! But yeah, if he takes two hours to get back to my text due to being at work... well, I will wait two hours also before I text, IF I remember. It is all about mirroring interest!
KatZee Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 You read his post wrong. He is telling the OP to go slowly. And he's right. I've said it several times here to guys... women are like cats. Getting one to come over to you takes a certain something that is hard to explain, but any sudden movements and you've blown it completely. Take your time, It's good advice he gave. Ahhh OK. I thought he was saying women need to be patient with him.
MissBee Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Those interested will reply, all others dont matter. I agree. Another poster said they're just not interested and you (cptkurt) said it's not that simple.Why isn't it that simple? Before I read your post and just read the topic my response in my mind was: a woman doesn't enjoy not responding, her unresponsiveness is a sign of not caring all that much and indifference rather than some vested enjoyment in not replying. Maybe some small portion of women get some special thrill out of this...but more than likely a woman who doesn't reply isn't interested or lost interest for whatever reason. It happens. For women too. I've met men who seemed to like me and we chatted it up while out, gave them my number and they never called or maybe they called once or texted once or a few times and nothing. However, I shrug it off. I don't know them well at that point so it doesn't matter. The men who are actually interested stick around, same with women. If a woman takes ages to reply or doesn't reply, unless she is reading The Rules, then she just doesn't care that much. I can speak for myself: when I like a man, I can't wait to talk to him. I check my phone for messages, light up when he calls, and even if I'm busy I get back to him as soon as I can because I genuinely want to get to know him. With men I'm so so or blah about or plain am not into I'm not as quick about replying and other things can sidetrack me from responding whereas when I like a guy it's automatic that I'm more invested in letting him know I do like him. 1
JuneJulySeptember Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 (edited) Maybe I'm more desperate than these women, but I'll at least entertain a conversation. Why discard someone without knowing anything at all about them? It just seems unfair. I'm a really good person but if nobody ever gives me a chance I'm doomed. I'm also awful at texting and it makes me very nervous. I don't text/call hardly anyone so that one number gets me excited and it's an ultra let down when not two words are exchanged. This is a fool's notion and I don't know why, but I myself entertain it from time to time. The vast majority of people have options, so they are not going to 'cut someone slack' as you imply. I do think that way, but expecting others to is unreasonable. I'm coming from a different kind of place. Anyway, from the way it sounds, I think most women literally have more men than they can deal with, so they cannot even think about it. You're just kind of a resume that goes in the garbage. Edited December 1, 2014 by JuneJulySeptember
smg15 Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 they will respond if you write something short and confusing
smg15 Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 And as a man I do the same if Im not interested If I get a message from someone who does not intrigued me I don't respond
Ebelskiver Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 As a woman, I can't win. I've responded with a line or two stating I'm not interested and have had the guy tell me NOT to respond, that he prefers the blow off. I never respond and then guys blow up my in box with increasingly angry tirades. Honestly, if a woman is interested she'll respond, if not, she won't. And guess what......women change their minds! Maybe we've spoken a bit but something you've said, or some underlying thread of desperation has turned me off. And I won't bother with you anymore. Or maybe an old lover came back into my life. The point is, evaluate what you could have done better, learn from it if you can and leave it behind you. Online dating requires a high threshold for rejection. Even for women. I can only handle it for a few months at a time before the constant low level of blow offs paired with subpar dates has me taking a break. It's important to remember in life that no one owes you their time, attention, or affection. You are not entitled to ANYTHING from me. Just as I am not entitled to anything from you. Let it roll off your back.
FitChick Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Match has a "No thanks" link you click on the message. I click that and then delete.
smg15 Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 As a woman, I can't win. I've responded with a line or two stating I'm not interested and have had the guy tell me NOT to respond, that he prefers the blow off. I never respond and then guys blow up my in box with increasingly angry tirades. Honestly, if a woman is interested she'll respond, if not, she won't. And guess what......women change their minds! Maybe we've spoken a bit but something you've said, or some underlying thread of desperation has turned me off. And I won't bother with you anymore. Or maybe an old lover came back into my life. The point is, evaluate what you could have done better, learn from it if you can and leave it behind you. Online dating requires a high threshold for rejection. Even for women. I can only handle it for a few months at a time before the constant low level of blow offs paired with subpar dates has me taking a break. It's important to remember in life that no one owes you their time, attention, or affection. You are not entitled to ANYTHING from me. Just as I am not entitled to anything from you. Let it roll off your back. I think you should have blocked him if you were going to respond back with a not interested. Actually that's what I do, if I get a message from someone I am not interested in I will delete the message and block them
smg15 Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Match has a "No thanks" link you click on the message. I click that and then delete. Oh wow, had no idea they created that feature
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