Lost3 Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 So I have been dating my boyfriend for almost two years now and for the last couple of months I have been worried because I don't feel the same. He still loves me with all of his heart and I was worried that I didn't love him. I asked my counselor for advice and they said it was just because I was out of the infatuation phase. I have still been worrying about it. I haven't been able to stop myself from wondering what I did to cause it and last night I realized something terrible. I haven't been flirting with other people or cheating but it feels even worse because I have been worried that I liked someone else a few times and I realized I had been taking my boyfriend for granted. There was one time where I thought about how my boyfriend checks out girls in front of me and so I thought "well I can look at this guy if I want" and the guy noticed that I would watch him and now I feel guilty every time I see him because I started thinking about him more than I should and I got worried that I liked him. I was texting my best friend about my relationship a long time ago and I don't remember any of the conversation except for when she said "You can always be mine in a non-weird way." And I said "Okay" because then it made me feel good, like I had a back up or something. Now I just feel extremely guilty about it because I know he would never do that to me. I don't talk to her anymore and I think I caused myself to feel like I don't love him anymore but I still want to be with him and it makes me cry when I think about leaving him. I still want things to work out but I feel so guilty because I have caused myself to like other people instead of realizing how amazing my boyfriend is. Can things still work out if I change? Please don't call me a horrible person because I really feel that way and I don't know want to break up with my boyfriend. I just wish I could rewind time and start over with him and learn from my mistakes.
preraph Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 How old are you two? If you're still in your early twenties, people just grow in different directions when they're still that young. Also, he may be taking you for granted as well. You might sit down and think about what he does different now than when you met and it was exciting and what you did different now than then as well and see if you've just both stopped trying to give each other a fun good life. If so, sit him down and tell him you both need to get back to when you were dating because you're getting bored. Now, if you just feel you've come to the bottom of the well, and there's not a fresh spring there to carry you on forward with him and keep things flowing and fresh, then maybe he's just not the right one for you. There are those people who like the romantic early stages much more than the domestic stages, and I'm one. I think because I can take care of myself, I don't crave the secure comfort part of the latter stages and just want the shot of adrenaline that is there in the early passionate time when you're discovering the other person. If it's that, what you want in that regard can change as you get older. I'm so much more domestic and home-centric now and content rather than driven. But everyone is different.
d0nnivain Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 You are not a horrible person but you are failing to recognize that not all relationships are forever. Yours may have run its course for you. It would be kinder to end it rather than live a lie. What are you going to do, marry him just to avoid hurting his feelings?
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