Who is the jerk in this story? Me or the girl? And what does she think of me now?

[Divasu]

Well okay! I am wrong ! I was a jerk with her. I was jerk for not saying hi to her. But just admit it... She is a jerk too. We exchanged so much eye contact. She initiated it!! And when i finally decided to talk to her, she was like :" This is the first time i ever see you okay? okay!" <-----What kind of reaction is this? She wanted to hurt me! She is evil and she insulted me on facebook!! Maybe i am more of a jerk than her, but she is a jerk too >.>

 

I can't make heads or tails of her statement in the context you've laid out. What exactly did she say on social media, what was the insult?

[chikitou]

This is what she wrote:"when you accidentally meet a girl's gaze many times doesn't mean she is hitting on you, i can't even stand your presence and your ****ing face which is always on my way and at least tell me why you got annoyed" <--- Not exactly what she wrote but it was something similar. Oh and when i approached her the second time, i asked her if she remembers the last time i approached her? and she said: "no i don't remember" She is playing with my mind ... It's not because i ignored her and kinda acted like i don't know her that she is going to play these kind of games with me. I simply wanted to correct my mistake = ='' ... Why does she keep denying everything?? Is this some kind of defense mechanism or what?

[Divasu]

This is what she wrote:"when you accidentally meet a girl's gaze many times doesn't mean she is hitting on you, i can't even stand your presence and your ****ing face which is always on my way and at least tell me why you got annoyed" <--- Not exactly what she wrote but it was something similar. Oh and when i approached her the second time, i asked her if she remembers the last time i approached her? and she said: "no i don't remember" She is playing with my mind ... It's not because i ignored her and kinda acted like i don't know her that she is going to play these kind of games with me. I simply wanted to correct my mistake = ='' ... Why does she keep denying everything?? Is this some kind of defense mechanism or what?

 

Okay. Yes, that sounds like a really jerky thing to say on her part.

 

Anyway, this "thing" between you, doesn't sound good. Forget about her.

[chikitou]

Things could have been different if i didn't ignore her the first time. But i am glad that i did. Cus this girl thinks she can get whatever she wants and if she doesn't get it, she acts like a bitch. Even after i read what she wrote about me on facebook, i didn't hate her and instead, wanted to correct my mistake and what did i get? An other bad reaction and she humiliated me. So this question seems reasonable to me : Did she really like me and she is badly hurt or was she just playing me??? Now who is the jerk?... Do girls act this way because they are hurt or because they are just plain bitches?

[elaine567]

Things could have been different if i didn't ignore her the first time. But i am glad that i did. Cus this girl thinks she can get whatever she wants and if she doesn't get it, she acts like a bitch. Even after i read what she wrote about me on facebook, i didn't hate her and instead, wanted to correct my mistake and what did i get? An other bad reaction and she humiliated me. So this question seems reasonable to me : Did she really like me and she is badly hurt or was she just playing me??? Now who is the jerk?... Do girls act this way because they are hurt or because they are just plain bitches?

 

You hurt her feelings by humiliating her, she retaliated on FB, you tried to make amends, she was having none of it and got her own back. I guess she liked you originally, but did not like being made a fool of, who does?

 

You were playing the "treat 'em mean keep 'em keen" game at the start but you were unprepared for her not liking that, she called you out on your game and now you are feeling upset and angry.

She was supposed to succumb to your charm when you went cap in hand to her, but she was still hurt from your initial reaction.

Only girls with no self esteem will come running after you treat them bad, normal girls will think you are a jerk. She thinks you are a jerk.

[Rejected Rosebud]

I think you acted like a big jerk, certainly this girl doesn't want to have anything to do with you anymore, I hope you have learned something here! If you are interested in someone don't act like you hate them! It will never work!!

[chikitou]

Rejected Rosebud i think you didn't read all of the comments She did act like a jerk too.

[elaine567]

Rejected Rosebud i think you didn't read all of the comments She did act like a jerk too.

 

But you started it, a girl who you knew liked you was humiliated an upset by the way YOU treated her.

She "anonymously" attacked you on FB??? Was it even her?

 

YOU then decide YOU are are going to be nice but by that time she was really pissed off and probably hates you.

 

YOU need to take responsibility for YOUR actions and not try to shuffle the blame onto her.

People respond to the way WE treat them.

YOU treated her mean, SHE treats you mean.

[autumnnight]

I have to wonder how old the OP is...I have my suspicions that if his age is 2 digits, the first cannot be higher than 1.....

[Danda]

OP, you are going to get people responding to two different things with the thoughts you express here.

 

First of all, since you seem pretty damn obsessed about it: YES it was a "jerk" thing of her to do to insult you that way on social media. She could have asked you in a much calmer and more respectful manner why you refused to talk to her and instead acted annoyed.

 

But many people here perceive and think on a much higher level than you seem to be.

 

Many of us notice that

 

(A) You are kind of a jerk yourself.

(B) You are extremely immature.

© You are extremely vindictive.

(D) You have some outright frighteningly crazy-hateful thoughts.

(F) You are more obsessed over blaming than being a better person.

 

And when people notice stuff like that, and also realize that it doesn't matter, stuff about this girl, because you two should definitely not hook up for a multitude of reasons, anyway, people try to take the opportunity to help you with what actually matters.

 

But if all you really can give a **** about is whether or not she acted immature and jerkish at some point as well, there you go: She did. Now go live in peace.

[Mangina]

Well okay! I am wrong ! I was a jerk with her. I was jerk for not saying hi to her. But just admit it... She is a jerk too. We exchanged so much eye contact. She initiated it!! And when i finally decided to talk to her, she was like :" This is the first time i ever see you okay? okay!" <-----What kind of reaction is this? She wanted to hurt me! She is evil and she insulted me on facebook!! Maybe i am more of a jerk than her, but she is a jerk too >.>

 

I do not think you did anything wrong. You were seeing someone so you ignored her. Girls do it to me all the time and they don't owe me anything. Same with her, you don't owe her anything. This is one of those situations where the girls behavior is over looked and the man is the bad guy.

[chikitou]

Yes, i was a jerk. Yes, i am immature and i am learning. No, i don't have crazy-hateful thoughts but i think she does. I only get flashes of hatred when i look back and remember how rude she was and how she humiliated me when i approached her. But who doesn't? Every single person on earth gets kinda resentful after rejection. Your mind tells you that i shouldn't get resentful since i was the first who acted like a jerk and ignored her but you can't imagine how much i wanted this girl after i ignored her so it's really hurtful to get that kind of reaction from her(I was really nice when i approached her). I do blame her because she was a jerk too and you said it yourself. Lessons learned : 1) As a man, i should never get bitter or resentful toward a girl because no matter how strong a girl can seem, she is always the weak one. Her reaction was a sign of weakness. I wanted revenge because i was weak too. 2) Never ignore a girl's approach invitation or you lose her for good. Honestly, she wasn't the first girl who got resentful toward me because of something like this. It happened to me a lot in the past. Girls get bitter and resentful when ignored and i try to avoid them like the plague because i know they hate my guts now. But this girl had so much effect on me because she really is the most beautiful girl i have ever seen and i always hear people talking about how attractive she is and then i think about how stupid i was... 3) Never do something i might regret later. Should try using my mind and forget about emotions. Oh and by the way, she anonymously insulted me on a facebook: I have concrete proofs she is the one who did it. Don't ask me how because it will be long to explain. And yes, i am obsessing about her because all of her friends are constantly watching me till it became really annoying. I even had two of them trying to get my attention and it was obvious. One of them held strong eye contact with me for like more than 10 seconds(she was one meter away from me). I kept looking at her and then looking away and then looking back (couldn't hold eye contact). She then came so close to me leaning her whole body toward me. I don't know what she wanted from me. Maybe she wanted to tell me something about her friend? o.O Maybe she was hitting on me? But oh what did i do? I just left and ignored her. And now, i honestly regret it. Could have been able to gather information about her

[serial muse]

Lessons learned : 1) As a man, i should never get bitter or resentful toward a girl because no matter how strong a girl can seem, she is always the weak one. Her reaction was a sign of weakness. I wanted revenge because i was weak too.

 

Sigh. Nope. You admit that you were weak and rude and whatnot, even that you were so first, but you still need her to be the one really at fault - and you have to make it sexist, to boot? Bah, you didn't learn a thing. Talk about weak. Here's where I give up.

 

Sad to see that sexism is already so ingrained at such a young age. Good luck in life, I guess.

[chikitou]

tests show that the most common personality types for women involve the F or feeling function, and the most common personality types for men are of the T or thinking functions. These tests are considered at least 75% accurate. Females are more sensitive because they are the ones who bear children and provide more love and care. Males and females are physically very different hence the difference in one's attitudes. We don't think the same way and we don't act the same way and this is why there is something called auto-rejection for females. This is a common rule in seduction: Women can turn their opinions of a man on a dime. They can be in love with him and going crazy hoping he walks up to them one moment, and then he hesitates a split second and they decide they hate his guts. Women are very fickle because they are more emotional. They are not like us guys. We guys are quite simple. it goes this way: we like a girl or we don't. For women attraction has an expiration date<----This isn't what I came with. This comes from professional seducers who have had years of experience and who have a clear understanding of the female mind.

[chikitou]

Please!! Let's just not talk about sexism and all of this because this isn't what i am here for haha . Serial muse, i feel like you hate me!!! Let's first love each other cus i am here asking for your advice and opinion and you are here to help me... thanks! And please!! No more hate !!!

[autumnnight]

This comes from professional seducers who have had years of experience and who have a clear understanding of the female mind.

 

I can tell you that while professional seducers may know how to manipulate well, they do NOT have a clear understanding (or any real care for) the female mind. They care about one or two body parts a woman has and how to access them. That's it.

[chikitou]

Honestly, my own experience proves to me that what these professional seducers came with, is absolutely true!!!! I just read this in article on Internet and this reflects exactly what i am living right now (like it matches perfectly!!!!!) ------->Sometimes the girls who give you puppy dog eyes before you meet them will be colder to you than anyone else if they think they were obvious about their attraction and you took too long to come meet them.

As a guy, this probably sounds crazy to you. So, let me explain.

Another lifetime ago, I had a social phobia. I was literally afraid of doing anything actively with people. I turned the cool kids down when they invited me to their parties, and I turned the pretty, popular girls down when they asked me out, because I was afraid to say yes. Sounds crazy, I know, but I was. The only way I could get any kind of attention was by attracting people's interest and having them come up to me.

And let me tell you... it sucked. It absolutely, positively SUCKS big time to be sitting there waiting and hoping for someone to come talk to you. Waiting and hoping that cute girl you like comes and flirts with you and maybe even asks you out. And if she doesn't, well, some of the time you'll even shrug and say to yourself, "Eh, who needs her."

This is how women feel ALL THE TIME, because most women are trapped in a perpetual state of waiting and hoping for men to take action. They aren't going to walk up to you and start talking to you, 99.7% of the time; it violates every law of male-female dynamics.

So all they can do is look at you longingly and hope you come talk to them.

All they can do is hint to you in conversation they want you to stop joking around and start getting to know them.

All they can do is suggest to you they want you to take them home and give them a night to remember.

All they can do is joke to you they want you to become lovers with them.

And, if their efforts to get you moving things forward fall on deaf ears, and you don't take action, and you don't move things forward, they become bitter for it, and they close off to your future efforts.

[chikitou]

And now when i look back and think about the girls that turned cold on me... All of them i thought they really liked me when i first met them... = =''

[BlueIris]

If I had a dime for every emotionally charged man who made illogical argument and presented junk numbers, overstatements and opinions/conclusions as data in support of his claim to be a better thinker than women are, I'd be richity-rich.

[chikitou]

hmmmmmmmm lol you all are females ... okay i give up. for you, i am just a kid and i am learning. I am not a better thinker than women are. This is sexist and stupid. Let's just forget about it and get back to our subject

[elaine567]

Well listening to professional seducers on the internet lost you "the most beautiful girl i have ever seen".

 

- Its called real life with real women.