TiredConfusedHurtSad Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 (edited) Hi, All, I'm going to be homeless soon because I've got no prospects (you know, nothing conventional, nothing in-demand) but have to move out away from the five-year girlfriend who's been supporting me this past year (we agreed for her to support my writing ambitions full-time, basically -- I'd stay home and write while she paid the bills, a reversal of the first two years of our relationship). We're breaking up 'cause she's got a borderline personality disorder (long story, some of which I've related in another forum/sub-form here), but I was just curious what kinda advice folks might have for me -- and please spare the one-liners unless they're really funny! Seriously, how to start over again given my lack of prospects? Should I get an English-teaching gig overseas in Asia or Eastern Europe?? But I'm an older gent -- smack in middle age -- so not sure if anyone would take me on that basis alone.... My ultimate goal is to make enough money from writing novels that I sell online, say through Amazon's Kindle, to support a decently modest lifestyle in, I dunno, China or Africa or wherever, you know, moving every three to five years to a new place, writing book after book. That was supposed to have been our thing, but until I get enough titles out there (industry rule of thumb is to be earning steady income from five before going full-time) I'm probably gonna be homeless...so any advice, anyone? I actually was homeless briefly as a youth (from a month to a year, depending on how homelessness is actually defined) but that was so long ago that I doubt what "worked" then could work now -- besides, I was young and there are always more programs for the young, it seemed.... Thanks. Edited November 30, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
d0nnivain Posted December 2, 2014 Posted December 2, 2014 In the short term can you get any type of conventional job to support yourself while you wait for your 1st novel to sell? That seems better than being homeless.
beach Posted December 2, 2014 Posted December 2, 2014 Best to get any job or several jobs to support yourself. The book can be done while you are employed - in your free time. Work work work. That is the way to pay your way.
Bito Posted December 2, 2014 Posted December 2, 2014 I do my most creative work after already working in the day. I am much more productive when I have a job since I know I can't have much dick around time and I focus on my music more as a result. This may be a blessing in disguise my friend. No need to wastyour time with love when you have a dream to acomplish...
TigerLilly78 Posted December 2, 2014 Posted December 2, 2014 Why so many "im going to be homelss" type threads today..anyone else find it odd?
Author TiredConfusedHurtSad Posted December 2, 2014 Author Posted December 2, 2014 Having been homeless once already, I can tell y'all that there is actually less time, not more -- unless one is a junkie or something, trying to live an otherwise normal life while homeless takes so much more time...and even money (as per James Baldwin, being poor is actually very expensive). For example, going anywhere, waiting on mass transit (or even using a bicycle)...and of course laundry and showering -- ugh.... But the problem with "hey just get a job buddy!" is that relatively very few jobs pay wages that allow one to live with enough free time to write -- not to mention an environment where writing and thinking is possible (bad neighborhoods are noisy and not otherwise conducive to creativity [for me at least], and even public libraries are now noisy...even the librarians banter away loudly and long). I'm so desperate as to consider teaching English in Saudi Arabia, maybe!! I dunno...anyway, thanks for the feedback, all....
Author TiredConfusedHurtSad Posted December 2, 2014 Author Posted December 2, 2014 Why so many "im going to be homelss" type threads today..anyone else find it odd? 'Cause it's the beginning of the month? Besides, the holidays...don't people tend to break up more over during holidays? And a lot of break-ups involve moving out, etc. But I ain't seen any other homeless posts than my own. Hmm...maybe I gotta refresh the webpage....
beach Posted December 2, 2014 Posted December 2, 2014 Be that desperate that you get a conventional job. It's hard to imagine that homeless would be an option for you instead of working a job each day. Is your girlfriend mad you haven't been making money to contribute? Is that why she wants you to move?
Author TiredConfusedHurtSad Posted December 2, 2014 Author Posted December 2, 2014 Be that desperate that you get a conventional job. Long story, but I've been everywhere from being in the mud scared, as an infantryman, to fancy Fortune 100 executive suites, as a trusted assistant. Did I mention I'm smack in middle age now? I guess this is my personal version of the mid-life crisis, but I can't stay "married" to the dominant culture anymore, the working-stiff routine, especially when remuneration just keeps going down while requirements keep going up.... It's hard to imagine that homeless would be an option for you instead of working a job each day. Well, it's like if I meet another nineteen year-old who proclaims undying love for me...I'm much too jaded to get into it now, know what I mean? Same thing for "providing excellent customer care!" or "changing our world, one satisfied client at a time!" or "succeeding by helping you to!" or whatever other variant of The Corporate Ethos is out there. Like, imagine a woman who has to play to the meat market...imagine a world where a woman's only value was her body (yeah, not hard, I know) but one woman is just too "been-there/done-that" for it all yet again.... Is your girlfriend mad you haven't been making money to contribute? Is that why she wants you to move? I think that's what this is, mostly -- though in my defense I have to note that the first two years of our five-year live-in relationship I was the sole breadwinner...she started contributing in the third, and roughly the past year and a half to two years she's been the main-to-sole "rain-maker".... The transition was partly forced by downsizing at my job and my own advancing middle-age desires to finally pursue my dreams, writing, that kinda thing. This was kinda discussed, but it basically just evolved that way, where our roles got reversed...long story, again, but that's the gist of it. Oh, BTW, she doesn't necessarily want me to move out. It's complicated, but I think she wants me to just bring in money, even though she doesn't quite say that 'cause I've been helping her with her small business (which has had several thousand-dollar days but usually just two-hundred per business day)...but we have other issues in the relationship. Economics just exacerbates 'em, as that's the clearest reflection of power, know what I mean? Like, despite helping her with website work and SEO and modestly succeeding at it, as well as answer phones and schedules clients (she actually meets with clients and deals with workers), she doesn't seem to believe that I'm doing enough, and this has become demoralizing. In fact, the more my writing progresses (completed chapters, namely) the more she seems unhappy...like I said, there's a lot of underlying issues here. Oh, and I'm 43 and she's...what, seventeen years my junior at...25?? So I'm sure there's just *that* thing going on, too, at some level.... Yes, I know, karma, my own fault, whatever.
TigerLilly78 Posted December 2, 2014 Posted December 2, 2014 'Cause it's the beginning of the month? Besides, the holidays...don't people tend to break up more over during holidays? And a lot of break-ups involve moving out, etc. But I ain't seen any other homeless posts than my own. Hmm...maybe I gotta refresh the webpage.... Actuialy your the seond one on here with this exact same type of sob story with in 24 hours maybe its the holidays granted but its a heck of a coincidence imo...
Author TiredConfusedHurtSad Posted December 3, 2014 Author Posted December 3, 2014 Actuialy your the seond one on here with this exact same type of sob story with in 24 hours maybe its the holidays granted but its a heck of a coincidence imo... Huh?? So if not coincidence, what do you think it is??? I don't see how just two people showing up talking about imminent homelessness suggests anything at all.
d0nnivain Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 TiredConfusedHurtSad You have some tough choices to make. You need money to live but you want time to pursue your art. You're right, few P/T jobs will pay enough for you to live but in the short run I think you need to sacrifice your art just to have a roof over your head & food. Since you have some C-suite experience, check out a temp agency at least in the short term. Once you stave off the immediate need, do some searching. I have an artist friend who took a job as a building super because it provided a place to live but left plenty of time for painting.
Author TiredConfusedHurtSad Posted December 3, 2014 Author Posted December 3, 2014 Hi, d0nnivain, Your friend's in a sweet spot, then -- 'cause the building superintendents I know, they're always complaining about tenants complaining about every little thing any hour of the day every day! Anyway, "sacrificing my art" is what I've done all these many years...maybe it's just me, but I can't seem to do any work unless I'm not distracted by something else (unfortunately, a lot of even entry-level work these days involve homework) and...well, look, it took Jonathan Franzen nine years to write his best-seller -- and he's a Trust Fund Baby! While others just churn 'em out...so I guess I'm one of those who really needs his peace and quiet. There are writers' colonies but that's short-term, too, if I even get in...my plan -- if I don't go to Saudi Arabia to teach English (and get beheaded by some religious nut-job!) -- is to be homeless for now and finish my novel (it's ~25% done) and just keep repeating this tactic until all the books together bring in enough residual income to live very modestly in Asia or Africa or something, writing all day but with a roof of my own.... My biggest concern is that being homeless will wind up a distraction anyway (taking showers in the gym, etc.) and I'd still be unable to write! Well, maybe I'll go research how Thoreau was able to just go of into the woods to write....
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