E-Squared Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 Earlier this year, I was bordering on dating this girl. We were mostly in talking stages and we liked each other. We even went on a few dates. However, we had talked for a while. However, at some point, she said she wasn't ready to date because she wanted to focus on her own stuff like her daughter for example. I said "Fine." We remained friends and still talked. I was a little bummed out, though. A month later, we still talked but out of nowhere, she decided that she wanted to cut off contact with me completely. She said her reasons is because of her emotional issues and that she would rather have someone physically be there to help her in that situation. One thing that I forgot to mention was that there were times when I had wanted to set up doing stuff and she declined on those offers. Okay, I didn't understand that. She said that she wants someone physically around but she didn't want to do anything with me? What gives? She even said that she was sorry if she had hurt my feelings in anyway. I even tried to suggest that I give her a break for maybe a few months of not talking, but she said that she doesn't think it would change anything. Her deciding to cut me off was so sudden. For a while now, I had been thinking about sending her a message, whether it's text or audio with me going off on her as a final "f*** you" to her. Do you think I should do it?
Ducktape Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 If you feel the need to tell her off because of that story, I would so some introspection as to why you react so strongly to rejection. I don't see anything bad she did. She didn't lead you on, she was honest with you... If you so badly want to establish that you're the lesser person out of both of you, go ahead and communicate your unfounded anger. But don't expect it to make you feel better. "Whom the gods wish to destroy they first make mad" 1
Author E-Squared Posted November 30, 2014 Author Posted November 30, 2014 If you feel the need to tell her off because of that story, I would so some introspection as to why you react so strongly to rejection. I don't see anything bad she did. She didn't lead you on, she was honest with you... If you so badly want to establish that you're the lesser person out of both of you, go ahead and communicate your unfounded anger. But don't expect it to make you feel better. "Whom the gods wish to destroy they first make mad" She may not have led me on, but it was so sudden and I don't understand why she had to cut me off if she doesn't hate me.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 Because she doesnt feel the same way and knows u want more... the cutting u off is so she doesnt lead u on or hurt u... the declining invitations - she's not interested and it sounds like u have kept on a bit. She has been trying to let u down gently x
organizedchaos Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 If you feel the need to tell some off just for that, then it's you who has issues, not her. 6
organizedchaos Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 **** that b***h then. I rest my case.
Ducktape Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 Sounds as if she dodged a bullet right there. 3
Author E-Squared Posted November 30, 2014 Author Posted November 30, 2014 Sounds as if she dodged a bullet right there. I was really hurt by her, okay. So I still kind of hold some anger towards her.
Ducktape Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 I was really hurt by her, okay. So I still kind of hold some anger towards her. You weren't hurt by her. You feel hurt, yes. Be accountable of your sentiments. And that anger isn't because of her wrong doings. She didn't do anything wrong. You feel anger towards her because she didn't reciprocate your feelings for her. That's unhealthy to think that way, and you need to work on yourself because that reaction to rejection will cause your downfall in the long run. So in the state of a human being you are right now, yes, she did dodge a bullet deciding NOT to date you.
elaine567 Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 She didn't want you, full stop. She is entitled to her decision. There is no fault here, would you rather she led you on and was miserable every time you met, or she started seeing other guys and cheated on you because you are NOT what she wants? She told you straight and you want to punish her?? Get over yourself.
Invictus01 Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 Um, yeah, that's why you don't stick around and be buddies when you want more than that.
Author E-Squared Posted November 30, 2014 Author Posted November 30, 2014 I would have been fine if we would have just remained on platonic levels as at the time I was just trying to sort of get back on the horse. I didn't talk to her daily after she said that she didn't want to date. It wasn't until a month later when she said that she was cutting me off completely and this was unexpected, because we had talked the night before and I thought that we were still on decent terms.
Ducktape Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 You probably stuck around "as a friend" in the hope she had a change of heart. Something totally dishonest, a lie. A lie about friendship. She probably took the hint that you wanted more, that ultimately, you weren't really interested in a friendship, but more. She probably knew that no matter what she told you, it wouldn't change anything in your mind (Or was maybe afraid of your reaction and your fear of rejection) so she decided the best decision was to stop talking to you altogether.
TiredConfusedHurtSad Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 (edited) Deleted by author: Posted in wrong place Edited November 30, 2014 by TiredConfusedHurtSad Deletion. 1
Author E-Squared Posted November 30, 2014 Author Posted November 30, 2014 I have to say that I have a problem with dwelling on things. I tell myself all the time that she wasn't worth it and it is not worth anything to go off on her. A friend of mine has told me that and that if I did do that, it would make matters worse. I will admit that in the past I told off someone through a message. Now whether I was in the right or wrong for it, that doesn't matter because I still went ahead and it. However, this person (And I mean the one who I did send a message to) actually tried to manipulate me. I sent her a message in which I told her off. Regarding this girl who this thread is about, I agree that she doesn't deserve it and I had even contemplated it in the past but there is always my conscience telling me that I should not. I never followed up on it. I can say that it isn't worth getting my anger worked up over something that I shouldn't still be upset about.
loversquarrel Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 The fact that you're this upset over this is concerning. You are at a 7-8 on a scale of 1-10 (anger), when you probably should be at a 2 ( disappointment). How would your reaction be if you were actually in a relationship with this girl?? I'm willing to bet full of rage and stalkerish. You need to get that feeling in check or you will end up with a restraining order or much worse. If you do send her an "fu" message she will probably just blow you off as some sort of psycho and you'll end up embarrassing yourself. 1
idoltree Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Being classy and acting with integrity is truly the best long-term revenge. 1
d0nnivain Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Regarding this girl who this thread is about, I agree that she doesn't deserve it and I had even contemplated it in the past but there is always my conscience telling me that I should not. I never followed up on it. Listen to your conscience. If you need to get all the negative feelings out, fine. Write her this nasty-gram. Spew out all your hate & resentment. Then light the message on fire (in a safe place) & watch it burn. But do not send it to her. You feel hurt by her actions. OK fine. You are entitled to feel however you feel but you acknowledge that she did not act with malicious intent toward you. Why would it be OK for you to be affirmatively mean to her now?
Firestarter1069 Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 She may not have led me on, but it was so sudden and I don't understand why she had to cut me off if she doesn't hate me. You should have been in my shoes 2 months ago. Same thing happened to me but we were actually dating when it happened. I would say don't send a message like that. I would act like she doesn't exist. 1
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