DenverDude Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 Throughout the years we met some really nice people playing in rec league sports (volleyball, softball). In fact, it's my ex that I can thank, for meeting some really good friends of mine. But the thing that is driving me crazy is I cant stop thinking that she is probably talking bad about me to those some people now that she has broken up with me. It makes me really sad because I am not a bad guy. I may have not been perfect, and I may have had my fair share of argument starters with her, but deep down inside, all i cared about was her. I would literally kiss her pretty much every morning when I went to work (while she was still sleeping) and then ALL day at work all I could think about was getting back to her - or trying to think of things to surprise her with to make her smile (cooking dinner, buying her some flowers, looking up vacations that I could take her on, etc etc) - Granted I didn't get her materialistic things everyday, in my mind, it was the thought that counted. I don't think she ever realized how much she really meant to me, and it is eating me up. Now it's killing me that she is probably portraying me as some evil liar, who is manipulative, immature for my age, etc etc. I haven't said one bad thing about her to my friends since the split. Ugh. It just saddens me how fast things can change God, I just want to go back in time and fix everything. I miss her so bad. She was so cute. Sorry for the rant. I guess I need to slap myself in the face a few more times and get back into reality.
anne1707 Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 Or she may not be saying anything at all. You don't know what she may or may not be doing so there is no point jumping to conclusions and assuming the worst. Do you still see these friends too?
Author DenverDude Posted November 30, 2014 Author Posted November 30, 2014 We had a split once before in our 3 year relationship and she admitted that she spoke badly about me during a ski trip with some of her friends. So I wouldn't put it past her to continue her habits. Maybe it makes her feel better or something? I do still see these people and I am still planning on playing in the sport leagues with them. In fact, she is friends with one of my good friends g/f's.
anne1707 Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 OK, she may do some bad talking but as these people know you and are continuing contact with you then I would guess that they are more than capable of making their own mind up about you and realise that she is just talking the way she is because she is also feeling hurt from your recent split. Just do your best to not make your friends feel as if they have to take sides.
Author DenverDude Posted November 30, 2014 Author Posted November 30, 2014 Thanks for the advice Anne. I am 33 and she is 26 so maybe age has something to do with it. I guess I have always taken the high road because to me there is no point in saying bad things about someone you once loved - just because they were not perfect or made some mistakes along the way. I am definitely not trying to play the 'sides' thing either. But at the same time, I am not going to stop playing in these leagues, with my friends, just because she chose to leave me.
Sugarkane Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 I don't think age is necessarily the reason. People take sides all the time in the divorce section and in real life too. Thanks for the advice Anne. I am 33 and she is 26 so maybe age has something to do with it. I guess I have always taken the high road because to me there is no point in saying bad things about someone you once loved - just because they were not perfect or made some mistakes along the way. I am definitely not trying to play the 'sides' thing either. But at the same time, I am not going to stop playing in these leagues, with my friends, just because she chose to leave me.
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