long distance relationship- how do i trust my bf after a one night stand?? :(

[batwoman2014]

I have known him since the age of 10, never had the chance to be together and date.. He had to go back to his country about 4 yrs ago! we spoke on the phone since he left the uk. it was an on/off relationship and just about 4 months ago he travelled to USA to study.

 

about a month ago we started talking properly and we were planning that we should meet again and officially date. Everything was going fine until he went to california with his friends for a week. Received a text 3 days ago saying I have sinned! (we come from a religious background)

 

He had a one night stand...

 

I asked if he cud promise me not to do it again. He said he will try. When he first said this I went mad but then I thought about it he' was just being honest! If it was another guy he'd promise not to do it again but still do it (not all guys).

 

BTW: We never had a proper relationship (we haven't even kissed)

 

I don't know what to do please help

 

thanks

[elaine567]

Is this some sort of betrothal, an arranged marriage perhaps?

[oldshirt]

Date someone in the real world that lives within an hour of you so you can see each other for real instead of someone that you only communicate with electronically.

[justwhoiam]

I have known him since the age of 10

And how old are you now? Are you both the same age?

 

He had to go back to his country about 4 yrs ago!

So from the age of 10 to 4 years ago, what happened? I mean, was he your friend? Did you go out with him? Were you best buddies?

 

we spoke on the phone since he left the uk. it was an on/off relationship and just about 4 months ago he travelled to USA to study.

Do you mean that you wanted to be bf/gf right after he left 4 years ago? Or when exactly did this come up? And what does "on and off relationship" mean? Yours looks like a virtual relationship that went on for 4 years.

 

about a month ago we started talking properly

What does "talking properly" mean??

 

I asked if he cud promise me not to do it again.

You ask a man to show you his love, to please not say bad words, to take a day off, to try not to hurt you anymore........ that kind of stuff. But you cannot ask a man not to have sex with other women! If you want a traditional monogamous relationship, he either choses that by himself or you part ways.

 

I don't know what to do please help

First of all, just know what you can do. You can go where he is and start dating him. Or you can live your life (date someone else). Or you can just wait for him and hope he will date you. Whatever you decide to do, chances are he will have sex with other girls, because you won't have sex with him for religious reasons (this is what I understood). So he'll get his chances elsewhere. He doesn't seem that into you either, because he's treating you more as a friend than as a lover.

[d0nnivain]

He did not cheat on you because you two were never officially dating & in a monogamous relationship. Until you can be together in the same location, make no promises & leave both of you free to do whatever with whomever.

 

 

If you can work it out to be together in the same place & date conventionally, great. Otherwise it was nothing more than a dream that didn't come true.

[SkyLex]

They have right tried to date someone in real life. Actually, you don't have a relationship with him. If he really loves you he will do anything to be with you every day

[prettyinpink1]

Reading that made me so angry. You gave him a second chance and he had the nerve to say he'll "try not to do it again" Oh boy if that was me it would have gotten ugly

 

But really...Why did you give him a second chance? Once a cheater always a cheater! Its true!

[xUnknown]

He felt guilty, because his feelings are for you - but, he didn't do anything wrong. You two arent in a relationship.

[SkyLex]

It's still cheating and he hurt a girl who loves him most

[xUnknown]

It's still cheating and he hurt a girl who loves him most

 

Not by my book. Were they seeing each other "Exclusive"? That is the key thing here. Sure, he cares about her, but he wasn't "tied down" to her. The two haven't even kissed before. I guess I don't get how much this was just talking or a real relationship.

 

He cared about her, he cheated his heart. He wasn't in a monogamous relationship with her. Did he even know when they were going to see each other and "talk properly".

 

He felt guilty, because he cared, so he came clean. But, he was still allowed by most single people standards to do what he wishes with whom he wishes.