rarevictory Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 Hello recently came out of a breakup with my ex, we were dating for 6 months. I have had issues with depression and anxiety before which lead to some things getting messy before the split. At one stage I was hospitalized which I take responsibility for, other things were happening at the time, mood swings and increased anxiety due to going back on my medication, which both her and i thought was a good thing to do. She broke up with me the day I went to hospital, she came along and broke up with me at bedside. I do not blame her at all for it would have been a scary situation. I went home for a few days to see family since they live in a different city and to relax. She called me the day i flew back, I sent a bunch of messages saying I agreed to the break up and it was for the best, I then started saying i would do whatever is needed, time space etc, she called me later that night and said her parents said i was sick and not right and i needed to be alone, but that she said they can't see how much she loves me and didnt want to lose me we talked every night (a half hour call before bed) until i got back, and agreed to meet up the next night i was back a monday night. it went really well cuddled and kissed and went for dinner, I got a tad emotional when she said she could not stay the night, just pleaded a bit, came to realisation after she left just saying i was confused and understood and was sorry for being clingy so soon. the next night she sent me lots of messages saying she wished i was there and I miss you etc, next night she barely replied to anything, the thursday night i could not get onto her at all, until after midnight, i sensed things were wrong and asked her to say what was on her mind. she said she was confused and for the best of us both we needed to break up. I convinced her to come around the next night and we would break up in person, I was accepting yet i cried and she did too, she knows i'm emotionally expressive in those ways. We both agreed to the break up that we need to work on ourselves again and our own lives, which i took in that way. I cut contact and went about doing things to get my mind over the situation a few days later i felt guilty and sent a message saying sorry for things in the relationship, sent another message a couple of days later asking for some stuff back from hers to which she replied and all was good. I was struggling with contact with her at this point and said i needed to go away for a while and deleted facebook, that night i went out with some friends, but became overwhelmed and had a panic attack my first reaction was to call my ex to calm me without thinking it through, didnt get a reply, so sent a few texts at the height of my episode, when i calmed down i realised what i was doing and immediately tried to apologise to no reply other than do not contact me. an hour later she sent a message saying if i persisted she would call the police. I assumed it was a stressful time for her and pulled back. A day before this she had cut me off on facebook and instagram. I sat around worried and anxious for a few days and decided i would send her one last message apologizing, not asking for any return conversation etc wishing her well and that i was happy now to leave her alone saying what i had said, a few hours later and a police officer calls, he was concerned at first saying i had to go to the station immediately, then called back 40 minutes later saying break ups suck etc complete change of tone and to just not contact my ex at all and they would be back in touch, they said i would receive documents soon after, it has been a week i have spoken to her briefly once in a text message to ask her about it and she said she was waiting on hearing from them not to contact her in case it got me in trouble which she said she didnt want to happen to me. I assumed she was just over reacting to me being pushy, i admit i was acting clingy towards her, maybe the police officer spoke to her and calmed her as i have not heard a thing of this since. I noticed she kept me on two programs we both use, one a file sharing program, the other last.fm, I noticed she would continuously check lastfm throughout the day which she never seemed to before, and would turn her notification to active on the filesharing program when i would come on. I knew I was pushy and all over the place the first week of the break up, the incident above happened during the second week, i hope it was just reacting and she did not mean it, I have left her completely alone since, going out of my way to delete the last remaining links to her, it sucks because i did not want to push her away completely, has anyone else ended up in a similar situation? I'm clinging onto the hope i will get to speak to her again one day? I've learnt not to push her now, it's the 4th week now and i havnt spoken to since the incident, do you think she over reacted and may get back in contact one day? I still am in love with her as its still early stages, am more than happy not to say a thing to her, i just would love to stay friends somewhere down the line, by the way have not been charged with anything, the police officer dealing with the case, says nothing is serious just to give her her space and we could be friends in the future, which gives me hope she has tried to downplay everything to the police since, I'm in that mind frame where i am accepting and trying to move forward but still holding a door open? hoping this was all just over reacting in the early stages and that she will talk to me again one day. Have I ruined everything? sorry for the rant, was kind of venting and got carried away
Author rarevictory Posted November 30, 2014 Author Posted November 30, 2014 By the way i'm 26 and she is 23, now that i am going the no contact route i hope this will all blow over and she may get back in touch someday? was i too frantic and needy too fast?
Recommended Posts