sophitia Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 (edited) I am very inexperienced when it comes to relationships as this is the first serious relationship I have ever had. We were together for a year and it has been 6 months since we have been broken up. I don't want to get into too much details, but the relationship failed when he became emotionally involved with someone else. Even after all of the apologies, I could never believe a thing he said as his actions always told a different story. My issue then grew into the allowance of external influences on the relationship. Regardless of whom the gossip came from, or who proffered their opinion, it always took precedence over my ex. This clearly was unfair to the other individual but I did not realize it then. Harsh exchanges were made from my end, and we never worked things out. Since then, we have been in NC for 3 months, but have been broken up for 6. The first 4 months of our break up, I did not see him but I began running into him pretty frequently in the past two months. I would see him at the bar or concerts. We didn't acknowledge each other the first few encounters, but I decided to break that habit because of our history and the deep connection between our families. They have known each other for over a decade and are still close to this day. Plus, he was standing directly behind me or next to me so it was hard to act like the other person was invisible. However, when I ran into him the next 3 times, I felt like I was going out of my way to greet him even when he did not even notice me. I suppose it is because with each encounter, the interactions were more involved. It started off as simple nod gestures, to hugs, to him giving me a kiss on the cheek and then a full blown conversation. The bizarre thing about it though was when he had expressed his apologies all over again including the insecurities that he had in which he never told me of until now. But then he decides to end it with the fact that he would have tried to win me back with his elaborate plan had it not been for my harsh words that I had left him with. Somehow, it left me feeling a bit hurt and feeling like it's my fault that we are not together even though he was the one who had wronged me to begin with. He then went on to say that he no longer cares for me and that he is moved on with his life but he is still single because of me. I tried to not take this personally as there has been a lot of time for us to go on with our lives but I don't get why he would do all of those nice gestures if that were the case or even reciprocate my greetings. Then the next day rolls around, he goes out of his way and shows up at my place to hang out since he had learned that I was moving out of state. I don't know why, but I obliged and it's probably because I still have a weakness for him. The night before I fly out, I run into him again somewhere downtown. As usual, I go out of my way to greet him but I try to keep it very short with a simple hello this time around. He says he was going to get off work early and would like to see me off before I leave, I just say sure and go about my business. The day that I fly out comes and I do not hear from him. I am left with some confusion as he said he wanted to see me off, but then never responds until the last minute of me boarding simply saying "hope you have a safe flight. it was great seeing you." And then being the way that I am...I always feel the need to go overkill on my words and have the last word. I write him a text, but I do not express my disappointment. Instead, I tell him that it was great to see him, glad to hear he is moved on and that I wish him nothing but happiness. With the hopes that he can some day overcome his insecurities and find that special someone. That was the end of it. But I really do mean all of those things. I'm not really sad that we are no longer together, but his comments and actions did throw me off for a loop. I'm not even sure I should have even responded with a text or tried to be nice to him. Edited November 30, 2014 by sophitia
Reels Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 Nothing was wrong if you were being nice to him. It is not even a matter. What matters more is, if you still want him or not.
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