How Long Does It Take

[Leigh 87]

i don't think you're the first, or only, human being on earth to ever experience "intense sexual chemistry" with someone and yet, many of us are able to hold off sleeping with that person we feel intense chemistry with for many dates. maybe even months. just don't give it up so easily. you're also not the only attractive, gorgeous female around, so if you do have more going for yourself than just looks you should start off by showing that side of yourself. stick to dates where you won't end up naked. what is so hard about not putting out? is it that challenging for people??

 

 

I do have more going for me besides my looks for sure. I am a little different, fun and kind plus I have a very curious mind and enjoy talking about/learning about new things often.

 

Even the guys who I only had the intense sexual chemistry with, their actions showed that they thought I was a cool person initially - so I am affable to begin with, it is why I have a sales driven job that I do well in and am regularly told that I am a good sales woman.

 

It is just that once a guy gets to know me for more than a week or two, they discover that I am not for them, and that there was only ever very strong sexual chemistry!

 

So I am left feeling a bit sheepish for having sex and fooling around with men I don't have any real connection with!

[Leigh 87]

That's right. Your style does not seem to be doing you harm so far or filling you with regrets. Its not like you are just clocking up PnD's, and you have left a few guys with some heartache in your wake. I think now that you are looking for something more serious/long term, you might need to dial back the eagerness to jump into bed with them, so you can get a better read on their intentions. At the same time you want the 'OMG amazing sexual chemistry'. lol That muddies the waters. With the latest guy, don't assume its too late to still build a good deep connection just because you have had sex, by any means. It really depends on the guy and what point in life he is at, and as you said in your other posts...how into girl the guy is. You might have to lower your standards from your fwbs though to find the guy that wants you for a LTR, though it does not seem like you have a 'type' when it comes to guys.

 

 

Me and this guy wanted the same things - we are both looking for a partner who we feel the "wow" factor with.

 

He liked that.. when he first saw me, he pointed me out to his mates and said " look at that". And then we ended up together that night.

I also liked the instant feeling I felt from just talking to him, it was instant.

So he wants that girl that, when he first laid eyes on her, he thinks " wow".

He then also wants the emotional and intellectual connection. As do I.

 

We both want the same things out of a partner. We want something meaningful deeper than sex, preferably!

 

We were both very excited the first week after we met that one time - unfortunately, it feels as though it was only a sexual connection and that he is not that keen on my personality (although I do believe that he thinks I am a cool girl and all).

 

As I said previously; NEXT:lmao:

 

I will answer his text and be pleasant but I have a feeling he will call things off anyway. To me, it feels like the end now so it wont come as any real surprise.

[deathandtaxes]

How about this...

 

What's the longest amount of time you've dated someone before having sex?

 

I'd say if your average is in the one week range, you may want to figure out why that is, exactly...

 

I think a better question at this point is how long has OP gone without a bf or trying to hook up or go on dates? How much time has OP spent just enjoying being alone?

[Divasu]

I know people who fall in love and then end up loving one another (loving one another takes time!)

 

I need to do both. I tend to have instant chemistry with men easily enough, I am a natural flirt and I look a bit "different" yet still attractive (ethnic mother) and I do find men I have chemistry with easily enough albeit not every week.

 

I am at that age where I still get plenty of attention and options, and hence, opportunities to find the fireworks AND a lasting partner.

 

So I have absolutely no doubt I will find the love of my life. Who I have the instant spark and wow factor with and who I also have emotional and intellectual chemistry with!

 

This guy just wasn't it.

 

Which guy are you referring to?

 

I think a better question at this point is how long has OP gone without a bf or trying to hook up or go on dates? How much time has OP spent just enjoying being alone?

 

Hmm. Indeed...

[Leigh 87]

I think a better question at this point is how long has OP gone without a bf or trying to hook up or go on dates? How much time has OP spent just enjoying being alone?

 

 

I enjoy being alone sans commitment a lot. Was single for all my early 20's.

 

But I do enjoy a trusted FWB to fill in the gaps once in a while. Once every two months with the FWB is more than enough but I also enjoy more regular if it happens.

 

The fact I get a lot of dates by simply going on out public is the norm for a woman of my age and so if I suddenly stopped getting male interest then it would be odd for me.

 

I do enjoy men a lot, I love getting to know knew potential interests.

 

I am at a stage where I don't feel badly if it doesn't amount to anything too, so I meet a guy like this current one, I have a big grin on my face and I go through the motions of being giddy with excitement, and then if it doesn't work out I don't care much so the pro's outweigh any cons.

 

Essentially, I enjoy having a trusted FWB (who is a genuine friend who cares about me of course who I happened to have chemistry with), while I meet men when I am out - I don't do online dating anymore as I am not actively looking for a partner.

 

But yeah - a FWB during sexual droughts who I have feelings enough for yet am not attached to, while I enjoy fun dates with men that excite me and I don't feel too invested in is ideal for me.

 

I enjoy my lifestyle more as it stands, than if I were to go on a hiatus from men.

 

I already have close girlfriends who I spend time with every week and hobbies and interests that don't falter due to me accepting dates from men that excite me so I don't see why I should deliberately forgo men.

 

In the same vein, I couldn't give a crap if I don't end up in a relationship for a good few years - I just genuinely enjoy going on dates with men that I feel excited about! I am lucky in that I don't invest emotionally until I know something genuine is there, and therefore I continue to enjoy myself without the downfall of failed romances.

 

I am not tied down nor am I committed to anyone which suits me right now as due to my age, I feel there is so much possibility out there in terms of selecting a partner and so I enjoy the notion of staying single as long as possible in order to be free to explore the ideal match as opposed to what I did with me EX - I explored him because I was lonely for sure but at the time I told myself "oh, well this is genuine". In is only in retrospect I have come to realise that I need to really avoid commitment for a good while, as that is realistically how long it will take to find an ideal partner.

 

I also have college next year and there are plenty of hot mature aged guys studying. I am doing a demanding degree (podiatry) and so it excites me to be open to meeting a fellow student, maybe even within the podiatry cohort, who knows what I am doing through! I will work only weekends, have little money but will still save some, and my life will revolve around constant studying.... Just to pass.

 

SO yeah. I am enjoying the dating process very much and I am at a stage now where I don't feel "sad" when me and the man in question come to the conclusion that; we are just not into each other beyond bedroom acrobatics!

[TigerLilly78]

Good chemistry is easy for me to find as I'm fairly attractive and friendly.

 

I've just yet to find it with a guy who is into me for more than just sex.

 

The guys who are really into me for more than just my body, are guys I feel zero chemistry towards......

 

This post struck me for some reason then I realized something a lot of guys on here have said that above average men will often sleep with women they do not find that attractive yet not GF them up the so called "league dating" IF one was to go with this theory are you sure the guys you want are realistically obtainable to you?

 

Yet the ones you don't want but want relationships with you are more as they say "on your level".. you seam to have a high opinion of yourself looks wise but do the men you want to date think that as well? Just tossing this out there..ive seen men on here say pretty much any women regardless of her looks can sleep with any man she wants but having a relashionship with them is another story all together..

[Leigh 87]

So far I enjoy having one long term trusted FWB, and to date the men I feel excited about (insane fire works) more than I enjoyed being single and without any men around me (when I was in my early 20's).

 

So I enjoy dating lightly with men that excite me (at least for the first week or two before it ends) than I did being single and dateless (which I was for a good 4 years in my early 20's).

 

I have done the "single and men free" thing and I have done the " single with fun dates" thing too. The latter wins.

 

It took me a few practices to get to the stage where I learnt how to not invest feelings into men until I actually KNOW them - I would confuse sexual chemistry, which has been intense with me and the current guys I am having fun with, with actual FEELINGS.

 

The change I am now going to make though is to just have my FWB (the really awesome Croatian guy) for "fun", and to go on dates with the men who excite me and I take an interest in, but WITHOUT SEX.

 

The FWB who has already seen me naked is the only person who I want to see me naked, I don't want new dates from now on to - the thrill of meeting them making out in a public area and leaving it at that will suit me much more than just jumping into bed with new dates.

 

Most dates I meet and I feel excited about wont last since I only go for the men I feel intense fireworks for. So it is optimal that I hold out from sex since these "dates" wont extend past one or two in all likeliness!

 

When I am older and want a partner and companionship with a mate is a priority, I will then settle with the guy who I don't have much in the way of chemistry with initially, but who is my emotional and intellectual match.

 

Right now I want it all - my female friend found it all - the instant fire works with her partner, and they also had the ultimate package!

 

I would rather enjoy the FWB ( I love kissing, and me and the FWB do this very well together) and remain single and wait for the fire works with a man who is a match, opposed to settling for the many guys around me who express interest in me, yet who I have no excitement for but would be loyal and faithful to me and who are actually really into me beyond my looks.

 

I am at an age where I am loving the possibilities in men, I look at most relationships and get soooo bored just thinking about them. Only ONE couple I know had intense fire works instantly and they now have great sex, they honestly cannot keep their hands off one another years after first meeting! THAT is the only relationship I know of where I think " that would be awesome if I ever found it"

Being single also = missing out on the majority of half baked relationships that are sub par. Most relationships are bullcrap. In my opinion.

Very few people find intense natural passion in a lasting mate. Until I do, I will enjoy dating lightly.

[Leigh 87]

This post struck me for some reason then I realized something a lot of guys on here have said that above average men will often sleep with women they do not find that attractive yet not GF them up the so called "league dating" IF one was to go with this theory are you sure the guys you want are realistically obtainable to you?

 

Yet the ones you don't want but want relationships with you are more as they say "on your level".. you seam to have a high opinion of yourself looks wise but do the men you want to date think that as well? Just tossing this out there..ive seen men on here say pretty much any women regardless of her looks can sleep with any man she wants but having a relashionship with them is another story all together..

 

I don't think I am that hot. But I do have a great smile.. nice straight teeth and full lips and I have a great body. Even though I am not a super model yes, the men I go for do find me very attractive.

 

I go for guys who are fat and balding, or who are over weight slightly - I don't tend to go for the guys who work out and have 6 packs.

 

Trust me I date within my league look wise.

 

I only date the men who show me that they are VERY attracted to me.

 

I go for the men who actually don't get he slender, pretty girls and who clearly demonstrate that they feel lucky to have me.

 

I don't have a type looks wise to be honest! I am open to any guy who I feel chemistry with... Short, fat, balding, pimply I don't care honestly, chemistry is there with an array of people if you are open to feeling it for people that society may not deem : hot :

 

So yeah. I don't have an issue in this regard. I have a very realistic opinion of myself. My body earned me 1000's as a late teen when I was an under wear and swim wear model due to the fact I am slim yet very curvy in the butt and boob department. I also was required to have a nice smile for the camera (bad teeth are a no no in modelling).

 

I am about a 7/10. The guys I go for are the same or lower according to societies standards.

 

Besides, I am not stupid I can tell if a guy is highly attracted to me!~

[Ebelskiver]

A red flag in any new relationship is when someone gets overly personal too soon. Saying "My friends dad got killed and my ex is still harassing me" after only knowing each other a week or so would make me feel uncomfortable too. It's a sign that you don't have good boundaries. You don't lay that kind of heavy emotional stuff on someone you have just met, even if you're already having sex. That was disrespectful of him. You wait to tell people that until you both have a deeper connection. To blow him off because he expressed discomfort, rightfully so,is a bit premature.

[TigerLilly78]

Besides, I am not stupid I can tell if a guy is highly attracted to me!~

Never said you were stupid but some guys can charm the pants off of women and make them think anything they like to get the job done...not saying this is exactley your case but it was worth putting out there..

[Leigh 87]

Never said you were stupid but some guys can charm the pants off of women and make them think anything they like to get the job done...not saying this is exactley your case but it was worth putting out there..

 

Yes that is true.

 

I know this first hand haha! I have been there. We all have, most of us anyway...

 

You make a valid point but I genuinely do only go for the men who believe I am really attractive. At age 28 I can tell these things for the most part, although there will always be classic liars out there.

 

I have pics in my profile. I am not lying when I say that I have a great smile and I am very attractive to the men I go for - which are not men who are model worthy or 8/10's or anything close to that, I feel I do bat within my league look wise.

 

Of course I am not a supermodel and of course I am not winning any beauty contests, however, I am sure you can see that my looks are very attractive to SOME men - I am not delusional in believing that the men I go for are highly attracted to me.

 

Besides - my body is a better attribute than my face by far. Which I don't put online.

[Leigh 87]

A red flag in any new relationship is when someone gets overly personal too soon. Saying "My friends dad got killed and my ex is still harassing me" after only knowing each other a week or so would make me feel uncomfortable too. It's a sign that you don't have good boundaries. You don't lay that kind of heavy emotional stuff on someone you have just met, even if you're already having sex. That was disrespectful of him. You wait to tell people that until you both have a deeper connection. To blow him off because he expressed discomfort, rightfully so,is a bit premature.

 

 

That is true. I need to improve my boundaries, I will tell my therapist next time I see her.

 

Needless to say, I wont ever be revealing those sort of events that take place in my life - I will keep it light and easy initially until a true bond is established. If it ever is.

 

My friend thinks he just doesn't care about me and a guy who really liked me would care?

 

I think I shouldn't have mentioned heavy emotional stuff - I didn't tell him I was sad or anything - and ALSO the sex part I should have eliminated...

 

I am not blowing him off, I just get he vibe that he isn't as interested in me after our time spent together - I think the sex (for him) was mind blowing for reasons I wont go into on here, but I also feel that he realised that he just isn't onto me beyond the sex.

 

He may just not know how he feels as it is so early. Either way, I want to date other people sans sex this time lol, I shouldn't be limited to this one guy just because we had a insane physical spark upon first glance.

[Leigh 87]

A red flag in any new relationship is when someone gets overly personal too soon. Saying "My friends dad got killed and my ex is still harassing me" after only knowing each other a week or so would make me feel uncomfortable too. It's a sign that you don't have good boundaries. You don't lay that kind of heavy emotional stuff on someone you have just met, even if you're already having sex. That was disrespectful of him. You wait to tell people that until you both have a deeper connection. To blow him off because he expressed discomfort, rightfully so,is a bit premature.

 

 

By the way, we talked through it frankly and honestly.

 

When he stopped responding after my inappropriate revelation about my friends dad dying.. I picked up on it and I gave a brief apology.

 

I said " oh hey, you know how tired I have been this past week, I forgot we have only just met and it isn't cool to share that stuff with someone I have only just recently met - I am sure you are a tad uneasy! I apologise :)"

 

He said " hey it is all good and yeh it did make me uneasy"

 

We continue to text sporadically over the course of a day but nothing like the week leading up to us meeting for the second time.

 

I mirror his interest - he takes two hours to reply to a text, I take two hours so I am not cramping his style lol or smothering him.

 

Some men can become attached or invested rather fast! They care a lot about women from the get go. Other men don't. Or maybe with the right women they do, and I just wasn't a woman that this current guy has the capacity to get emotionally invested in, at all.

 

Either he is like you and he is not a man who likes to get invested or emotionally involved too quickly, or with the right girl he does and I am simply not the right person that he can ever form a truly close bond with.

 

I enjoy relationship psychology as I read about it often and it is interesting to see how different people operate.

 

I am trying to learn healthier boundaries, and I definitely wont be revealing personal things to new men I meet. I am actually embarrassed and yeah will never do it again haha!

[Molly Hooper]

I said " oh hey, you know how tired I have been this past week, I forgot we have only just met and it isn't cool to share that stuff with someone I have only just recently met - I am sure you are a tad uneasy! I apologise :)"

 

He said " hey it is all good and yeh it did make me uneasy"

 

---

I mirror his interest - he takes two hours to reply to a text, I take two hours so I am not cramping his style lol or smothering him.

 

-----

 

Either he is like you and he is not a man who likes to get invested or emotionally involved too quickly, or with the right girl he does and I am simply not the right person that he can ever form a truly close bond with.

 

Yep - you're right. Nothing there. No guy that felt for you emotionally would say that.

 

The other two parts I included because they kind of contradict one another. You mirror his interests... which means you're acting like him... but then you're saying live and let live - either a man is like you or not. Well then text when you want. Say what you want. If he isn't receptive... he isn't the one for you... don't force it into a box.

[Leigh 87]

Yep - you're right. Nothing there. No guy that felt for you emotionally would say that.

 

The other two parts I included because they kind of contradict one another. You mirror his interests... which means you're acting like him... but then you're saying live and let live - either a man is like you or not. Well then text when you want. Say what you want. If he isn't receptive... he isn't the one for you... don't force it into a box.

 

 

That is my feeling on the matter. Although we only met one week ago, we have seen each other twice in our lives - maybe this is just the way he is no matter how into a girl he is?

 

I mean, do ALL men go all in once they meet a girl they are genuinely into for more than just sex? Are all men LIKE that?

 

In any case I am single and I am looking forward to meeting other men that catch my interest. In the first week I was NOT interested in accepting dates from other men! After meeting him again though, and based on his reaction towards me after meeting him a second time, I am very much open to dates with other men.

 

There was the fire works there but until I know if there is something deeper, which may not be able to be determined within 1 - 2 weeks, I don't owe him exclusivity.

 

He still texts, he texts back right away at times.

And in the beginning, the week after we met, I did just feel like texting him whenever I wanted - which he said he really liked - he liked that when I wanted to talk I would, opposed to playing games and waiting for him to text lol.

After we first met and parted ways, he is like " so are you going to text me or do you want me to text you? I was like.. " well, if I feel like texting I will just text lol, who cares who reaches out first"

 

So the first week he demonstrated that he was very much into the image of me and what he thought " could happen" potentially. I texted free will, whenever I pleased, he responded mostly right away even while at work he didn't take more than 1 to 2 hours to text back; if he did he said " sorry work got crazy"

 

After seeing one another it has died down.

 

So yeah, you never know, he is on anti depressants and has suffered a trauma at work that he is resolving and he could get bad news soon about it.

 

Maybe he just doesn't know how he feels yet because it is too early to know if there are genuine feelings?

 

I don't like the men who throw their emotions about too early on, yet in the same vein, I need a guy to have plenty of empathy and to at least say " there there, I hope you feel better soon babe" if I am to inform him of sad news, even if it is early on. I don't want a guy who gushes too much either I hate that - the ones who text 100 times a day and are always like " awww you poor thing, I wanna give you soo many cuddles and kisses awww":sick:

 

 

 

My FWB is coming over tomorrow or so and I really like him so I always enjoy our time together.

 

Where as a week ago when the FWB came over we just hung out and we didn't fool around as I wanted to explore the instant fire works me and this recent interest mutually agreed that we felt (and it was obvious we both felt it from his prior actions).

[Leigh 87]

You see, I know some men who are a bit too much like girls for my liking..

 

One male friend will drop anything for a girl after first meeting them because he is just a really caring person towards anybody!

 

If a girl dropped a bomb on him after only just meeting, this guy would say " oh my, what can I do to make you feel better, want me to drop everything for you?"

 

Where as other men are more chill - even if they are very much into a girl, they just don't drop everything for a girl they only just met, not even if they are a super model or whatever.

 

I am learning more healthier boundaries and even if this guy doesn't feel for me, which he clearly doesn't at this early stage in the dating process, I still shouldn't be putting forward personal dramas to new men I barely know....

[Leigh 87]

Hey,

 

So I cleared things up with him. When we talked over the phone I said

 

" look, we are in a long distance situation, you have kids and it is X mas time, we are not realistically going to be able to see each other properly until after the X mas period"

 

" I think that texting and calling one another is not a proper indication of what is to come - we just cannot get to know each other enough to determine if we do have a connection that extends beyond the bedroom"

 

He said he totally agrees - that we also doesn't believe phone calls and texting is a good indicator of what is to come with us.

 

We both agreed that until we spend time together in person, that we have no way of knowing if anything serious is to come from us meeting....

 

He said he wanted to hang out again with me in person properly.

 

We didn't actually spend much timed together on Saturday - I was extremely tired and basically needed to go to bed as I had to get to work very early the next morning.

 

We agreed that we didn't have a chance to talk and get to know each other on a personal level from our brief encounter and that we both are keen to meet again after Christmas, and spend a proper day together and see if there is substance to our insane sexual attraction.

 

So he seems like a really normal guy who wants to get to know me properly before jumping into dating.

 

In the meanwhile, I am free to pursue other people and enjoy myself:laugh:

 

 

 

Case closed;)

[Rejected Rosebud]

A red flag in any new relationship is when someone gets overly personal too soon. Saying "My friends dad got killed and my ex is still harassing me" after only knowing each other a week or so would make me feel uncomfortable too. It's a sign that you don't have good boundaries.

Yeah Leigh you pretty much ran him off with that, and it's not right that you are judging him and expecting him to respond in a certain way when you don't even know each other! He did you a favor by telling you it made him uncomfortable, that is a chance for you to take a look at how your behavior is affecting other people! I don't even understand the point of this whole thread, if you meet a guy and you have great chemistry that is awesome, then you need to date and get to know each other and in your case DO NOT HAVE SEX for a while, that is not necessary for everybody but I think you need to experience getting to know a guy you like and let things take their course without being all over everything. I'm pretty sure you are not listening or picking up on stuff about other people, you need to learn how.

[Million.to.1]

Which nationality is this guy? ...I'm having so much trouble keeping up.

[Ebelskiver]

Relationships are a bitch. It's so hard often to know how the other is feeling, even to know how you are feeling. That said, I would never want to be with a man who wouldn't consider me "relationship" material just for putting out too soon. After all, it takes two to tango and that level of hypocrisy is a total deal breaker for me.

 

I've had great relationships where I've waited to have sex and equally awesome relationships that have begun as a one night stand. I demand that my partners be sexually open minded and I simply don't abide by double standards. That said, hot sex with mutual sparks can cloud judgement, as you have seen. It can make a mediocre man seem amazing.....until the hormones fade a bit and real life begins to intrude.

 

It's mainly for that reason that I advocate waiting, at least a month or so, I've even waited three. It gives you a chance to build an emotional connection that is then heightened by physical congress instead of a physical connection that is waiting for the emotional to catch up.

 

That said, my current relationship is one that started after a one night stand on Halloween. I never expected to see or speak to the guy again, I was fine with that. It was the goal of the evening in fact. But, there was a deeper connection and we've been hanging out since. He has never made me feel any less for how we met. It's been a complete non-issue. As it should be.

[Rejected Rosebud]

Lots of relationships start with early sex but probably not one where one of the people was picking and picking at the situation like a big scab, that is not a very conducive way to get started! I have a feeling this one is in the books already and no new chapter to come after the holidays, just a feeling!!

[Leigh 87]

Yeah Leigh you pretty much ran him off with that, and it's not right that you are judging him and expecting him to respond in a certain way when you don't even know each other! He did you a favor by telling you it made him uncomfortable, that is a chance for you to take a look at how your behavior is affecting other people! I don't even understand the point of this whole thread, if you meet a guy and you have great chemistry that is awesome, then you need to date and get to know each other and in your case DO NOT HAVE SEX for a while, that is not necessary for everybody but I think you need to experience getting to know a guy you like and let things take their course without being all over everything. I'm pretty sure you are not listening or picking up on stuff about other people, you need to learn how.

 

 

 

I know not to get too personal now. I do learn from most of my mistakes.

 

We live 4 hours apart so we wanted to known if we clicked in the bedroom before even bothering. We both want a partner who we have great sex with.

 

Now we know that side of things is taken care of...and there isn't really time to see each other until after Christmas so what can we do?

 

I am not able to see anyone on Saturdays or Sundays...as I have a job on the weekend that rrequires me to rise very early... and I also work on Sunday. ..

 

He can only see women every second week due to having his kids for one week at a time and obviously he doesn't want to bring new girls he is getting to know home in front of his kids.

 

He works and has band practice and stuff so the only way we can ever see one another is for me to travel the 4 hours to see him during the week he doesn't have his kids.

 

So yeah I assumed if a guy was really into me after one meeting that he'd just make the time...

 

I do know that he was into me for the first week but after our brief meeting last Saturday. .. things have just died down . I didn't do or say anything off I barely spoke in fact... we laughed a lot when we did talk and then I needed to go to bed.

 

Maybe it dawned on him that we cannot feasibly see one a other or maybe he just decided that he wasn't that into me.

 

He did say that he still wants to re visit things and meet me again and see if anything is there.

 

I honestly don't understand how a guy can go from wing clearly into me to changing his mind when I've been nothing but pleasant and nice to him besides that one comment that was sharing too much information with him.

 

 

 

I only go for guys who seem to think they have done well with me. I try to pick the guys who are really attracted to me ! It seemed like our time in the bedroom was very good by his standards so yeah I'm just not sure why he lost interest lol.

 

 

 

oh well I do need to change the way I do things and not over share personal information. On the other hand, the right guy who is genuinely into me on a level deeper than sex won't get perturbed by distance or crap.

 

 

 

 

Am I right in thinking that he just wasn't into me after our second meeting ? I didn't over share on that one occasion until after we met.

 

Or was it this because we just cannot see each other due to him living 4 hours away and him having kids ?

[Leigh 87]

Lots of relationships start with early sex but probably not one where one of the people was picking and picking at the situation like a big scab, that is not a very conducive way to get started! I have a feeling this one is in the books already and no new chapter to come after the holidays, just a feeling!!

 

 

 

I don't understand why he wouldn't want to see me again?

 

He seemed to be very attracted to me and I was more attractive than his exes.

 

The sex stuff was good? We can have a conversation outside of the bedroom.

 

There would have to be a fundamental ...lack of emotional connection.

[Rejected Rosebud]

Leigh you basically had a one night stand with a guy who you just met, nothing wrong with that but it's not likely to pave the way to a relationship! and you probably did make him beat a hasty retreat with your pressurizing, you keep saying stuff like "we both want bla bla bla" and there is NO WAY you know anything about what this guy really wants, you don't know him! And this thing about being more attractive than his exes, that is just WEIRD for him to tell you, were you badgering him about that? and even more weird for you to be posting here! Anyway, if you want it to be "revisited" I hope it is for your sake but I'm thinking it's not! Also - having sex to see if you're sexually compatible enough for dating is backwards.

[TigerLilly78]

 

On the other hand, the right guy who is genuinely into me on a level deeper than sex won't get perturbed by distance or crap.

 

 

 

 

A guy who is into you for more then sex wont try to have it the very first day you meet and if you give it up that day they more then likely wont view you as potential GF material im sorry Leigh but ive seen guys themselves agree with me on that right here on LS...