Blondie38 Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 I am a college teacher and I am wondering if one of my students has a crush on me. I am much older but I look young, probably i look only a few years more than him (he is age 22). I like him and soon the semester will be over. So far everything is very professional. I just wanted another take on things. He probably spends 1-3 hours a week alone with me in "office hours" where we mostly talk about the school subject though we also talk about jobs, courses, etc. He always is smiling when he talks to me and he sits in the very front row and stares at me the whole time and does not take notes. If I look his way in the course of the lecture, he turns away shyly, He is a good student yet pretty much for every project he always emails me how confused he is, which is why he ends up sitting in my office for hours. He does very well so either I am an awesome teacher or he is just faking how confused he is. And he also wears alot of cologne when he comes to my office. Sometimes it is so strong that it lasts for like an hour after he leaves. I don't have much experience w men's cologne but how long does it last after application and how far away can you smell it? I am probably like 3 feet away and as I mentioned sometimes the smell stays around after he leaves. I surprised him a few times and came around him during class and he does not have it on then, just when he comes to my office. For it to smell so strong would he have just applied it? And if so why? Why does a guy put that on? Especially in a professional setting like this with your teacher? I am much older than him so I don't know what he is trying to do. Or if maybe he just is an over eager student?
Diezel Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 You don't know what he's trying to do? Really? He probably saw one too many teacher/student porns.
Yellow12 Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 Yeah, I thought that too, but then again, I am not sure if he was just trying to get friendly with me to get a higher grade, though he is already a good student. I am also so much older than him which I suppose he knows since I assume he looked me up Also, I don't know what he expects to happen in such a professional setting in my office no less. He is really good looking.
most_distant_galaxy Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 BlondieYellow50 (I added all your nicknames together ), I think he may be crushing on you. I have had adult students (not as a college professor though, it was an informal education setting with no assessment and stuff), and there used to be one who would linger after class for questions (the questions weren't very smart, but he was very smart). And he was always really nervous around me. He would talk non-stop, couldnt look me in the eyes for long and he was very clumsy. I think he is the most adorable man I ever met. If I saw him somewhere now, I would ask him out because he was also very handsome and geeky. By the way, are you attracted to him? Be careful since you are a college teacher. You don't want to lose your job!
FitChick Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 Wait until he is no longer in your class then ask him out.
Yellow12 Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 BlondieYellow50 (I added all your nicknames together ), I think he may be crushing on you. I have had adult students (not as a college professor though, it was an informal education setting with no assessment and stuff), and there used to be one who would linger after class for questions (the questions weren't very smart, but he was very smart). And he was always really nervous around me. He would talk non-stop, couldnt look me in the eyes for long and he was very clumsy. I think he is the most adorable man I ever met. If I saw him somewhere now, I would ask him out because he was also very handsome and geeky. By the way, are you attracted to him? Be careful since you are a college teacher. You don't want to lose your job! Yes, I really like him, that is the problem. He won't be my student any longer in another week or two, though it does put me in a weird position because if I am totally misreading his signs then I would make a total fool of myself if I even hinted at anything with him. Like he could think I am some old lady or something and it would damage my reputation for me to do anything and be wrong about this. He often asks about my weekend and I try to send the signal that I am single (not sure if he is fishing to see if I have a boyfriend) but other than that I am totally professional with him. Indeed, I probably erred more on the side of being cautious with him just because that is the ethical thing to do. But he seems mature for his age and I really like him. I am going to miss spending time with him which is weird to say because all of the time I spent with him was talking about the boring class. So I don't know what to do with him. I think I have to leave it to him. I mean he knows I am super accessible to all the students but he probably thinks it is a little weird that I make so much time for him. Spending 2 hours a week with your professor is a little much. I am not sure what he was expecting me to do when he comes to my office so much putting so much cologne on. It is the middle of the day with people around, surely he can't think I would jump him right there. I don't know, is it being really obvious and he thinks I know that? It is hard to tell whether he likes me as an advisor/mentor versus whether he likes me as a woman. Or whether these college boys just like to fantasize about their older college professor women. Really how do relationships in the workforce or in an academic setting start? It is a very awkward situation because if you misread things you make a complete fool of yourself.
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