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Why would a guy not want to have sex?

chicaboom

By chicaboom
in Dating

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
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Here's the easy thing to say when you're making out.

 

"Oh my God I'm so horny. Screw me right now or I'm going to go insane. I need you inside me!"

 

Any guy who is able to walk away from sex after hearing that is gay.

  • Like 1
DirtyHairy Member

DirtyHairy

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Some of these answers are hilarious.... Doesn't want to have sex right away must have an std lol

 

Honestly just ask him why he doesn't want to have sex right away (how long have you been dating?)

 

I'm a guy who likes to wait to have sex. I don't have sex right away because that's just not what I want to do right away (oh my god its so radical for a guy to be like that right?!) I want to get to know someone and see if we are compatible before I jump into that stuff.

 

Just talk to him and respect whatever he says.

venusishername Established Member

venusishername

Posted
Posted
Here's the easy thing to say when you're making out.

 

"Oh my God I'm so horny. Screw me right now or I'm going to go insane. I need you inside me!"

 

Any guy who is able to walk away from sex after hearing that is gay.

 

I totally agree with somedude. I don't think this is a 'delicate and tender' conversation you need to have with him. Honestly, some guys can be shy and reserved when it comes to sex and initiating it. Don't be afraid to show/tell him what you want! Just tell him, "I want you to **** me!" or guide his hands, etc. I prefer not to be the aggressor too, but I think being open and communicative about it is a good place to start. These things can be learned :D

 

 

There may be a deeper issue underlying on his end, but I'm willing to bet he's just reserved and pacing it.

  • Like 1
smg15 Established Member

smg15

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I thought no protection would be a very good reason a woman would accept

 

lol

smg15 Established Member

smg15

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Has an STD, has ED, is gay, is acting like a female, is a loser, and whatever else

 

but wouldn't no protection be a good reason?

JChristie Member

JChristie

Posted
Posted

after many years of dating, i have decided, if i get into sex too quickly, the relationship stops there. all i get is admiration for my lady parts, and any motherly chores i may be doing for him.

 

he stops trying to know me better. also, the good guys are NOT rushing into sex. they know it is germy and potentially dangerous on many levels. they want to be relatively "pure" for their relationships. this guy could be very serious about you.

 

if a man loves you, sex is a reflection of that love, and not just an animal drive.

  • Like 4
stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted
I don't necessarily want to have sex with him right now. I'm actually enjoying waiting in some ways, but it's just new territory for me. I've never dated a guy who hasn't really pushed for sex and is almost as equally happy to wait as I am. It's just a bit interesting to me and I wanted to know why he might want to wait? We aren't kids either, he's 30 and I"m 29...

 

Maybe he doesn't have to rush and has more control. Maybe relationships have taught him to take his time when it comes to sex. I think it's refreshing and I don't understand why you would question it. Not all men are horndogs I hope.

  • Like 5
smg15 Established Member

smg15

Posted
Posted
after many years of dating, i have decided, if i get into sex too quickly, the relationship stops there. all i get is admiration for my lady parts, and any motherly chores i may be doing for him.

 

he stops trying to know me better. also, the good guys are NOT rushing into sex. they know it is germy and potentially dangerous on many levels. they want to be relatively "pure" for their relationships. this guy could be very serious about you.

 

if a man loves you, sex is a reflection of that love, and not just an animal drive.

 

Great post

smg15 Established Member

smg15

Posted
Posted
Maybe he doesn't have to rush and has more control. Maybe relationships have taught him to take his time when it comes to sex. I think it's refreshing and I don't understand why you would question it. Not all men are horndogs I hope.

 

see so many women are programmed to believe that all men are horndogs

taryntan Member

taryntan

Posted
Posted (edited)
see so many women are programmed to believe that all men are horndogs

 

 

Something important the OP didn't answer...how long has it been/how long have you been dating? How long/slow someone takes it is relative. My definition of taking it slow is different than others.

 

I have found the majority are, even ones that proclaim early on not to be.

 

 

Im not trying to fuel the negativity here, but there have been 3 times guys have taken it slower with me than Im used to. I prefer to wait 2 months for sex. Most men push hard earlier than that. Each time I got a guy that didnt do this I thought I was lucky and found a great guy. All 3 was due to performance anxiety issues, insecurity due to their dick being small or ED issues. Once they got past their sexual hangups they proved to be hornballs in other ways.

Edited by taryntan
smg15 Established Member

smg15

Posted
Posted
Something important the OP didn't answer...how long has it been/how long have you been dating? How long/slow someone takes it is relative. My definition of taking it slow is different than others.

 

I have found the majority are, even ones that proclaim early on not to be.

 

 

Im not trying to fuel the negativity here, but there have been 3 times guys have taken it slower with me than Im used to. I prefer to wait 2 months for sex. Most men push hard earlier than that. Each time I got a guy that didnt do this I thought I was lucky and found a great guy. All 3 was due to performance anxiety issues, insecurity due to their dick being small or ED issues. Once they got past their sexual hangups they proved to be hornballs in other ways.

 

 

Well some girl came to my place for the first time last year and I turned down sex and she left out crying because she felt unattractive

slizl Established Member

slizl

Posted
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I take things slow with women that I can see having a future with. Maybe he is just really into you and wants to take things slow :)

  • Like 3
GettingOver Established Member

GettingOver

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Posted

It happened to me one time. I was also wondering why a guy invited me to his place, we made out, but don't have sex. And to be honest I was already willing to. So I asked him what was the reason. He explained that when you have sex too soon, the relationship tends to fail.

I personallythink it's not so true and I think he was not completely honest. Making out is already not holding hands in the moonlight. He was just concerned about having sex and I just initiated at the end of the day.

What can I say - it was not super good and it did not get much better later. He could not last that long if we forget about the size at all...

I personally do not think that dalaying sex changes a lot. On the opposite - people can get more intimate and close to each other, or not.

smg15 Established Member

smg15

Posted
Posted
It happened to me one time. I was also wondering why a guy invited me to his place, we made out, but don't have sex. And to be honest I was already willing to. So I asked him what was the reason. He explained that when you have sex too soon, the relationship tends to fail.

I personallythink it's not so true and I think he was not completely honest. Making out is already not holding hands in the moonlight. He was just concerned about having sex and I just initiated at the end of the day.

What can I say - it was not super good and it did not get much better later. He could not last that long if we forget about the size at all...

I personally do not think that dalaying sex changes a lot. On the opposite - people can get more intimate and close to each other, or not.

 

So if you are in a relationship with a guy he has to always be in the mood when you are?

neowulf Established Member

neowulf

Posted
Posted

I've never been in a huge hurry to bed a new girlfriend.

 

I prefer to spend the time getting to know her, feeling comfortable with each other, before taking things further.

 

Despite what people think, no all men are down for it, all the time.

  • Like 4
GettingOver Established Member

GettingOver

Posted
Posted
So if you are in a relationship with a guy he has to always be in the mood when you are?

No, and this is not what I said.

What I said is not that he was not in a mood. He was rather insecure, and that was the true reason he delayed.

Thegreatestthing Established Member

Thegreatestthing

Posted
Posted (edited)

How long are you suppose to wait,really.

Edited by Thegreatestthing
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chicaboom Established Member

chicaboom

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I have condoms, that's not really the issue. I don't want to force someone to have sex if they aren't ready for it. And I sense that there is hesitation, which is why I started the thread.

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chicaboom Established Member

chicaboom

Posted
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it's been a little over a month. But we only see each other once a week

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chicaboom Established Member

chicaboom

Posted
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ya we've been pretty much naked together. We haven't done oral, but some heavy making out. Everything is general is going pretty slow I"d say...even dating wise. see him once a week

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chicaboom Established Member

chicaboom

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thank you for your helpful post. What advice do you have for determining sexual compatibility early on without having sex? I'm not sure what you mean? Like through conversation? Can you give some examples? I don't really know how to approach this situation. WOuld love some advice.

ScreaminEagle Established Member

ScreaminEagle

Posted
Posted

I guess I am damned if I do, then I am damned if I don't. It has been hammered into my head through dating experiences that women don't like nice guys and prefer they don't push for sex quickly, and the ones that do, are a-holes.

 

If he brought condoms, one would cast judgement that he had an agenda, but the poor guy didn't bring condoms and more then likely is acting like a gentleman.

 

There are a million reasons why he is not having sex with you, my guess is he is trying to be "that guy" that women complain about.

  • Like 1
stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted
thank you for your helpful post. What advice do you have for determining sexual compatibility early on without having sex? I'm not sure what you mean? Like through conversation? Can you give some examples? I don't really know how to approach this situation. WOuld love some advice.

 

Don't approach the situation and let him take the lead. Right now you are only seeing each other once a week so maybe you should further establish the relationship before you worry about sex. You should have a good idea of the chemistry between you two when you kiss.

  • Like 1
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