chicaboom Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 I'm seeing someone who is going VERY slow in the dating department, but its also holding true for the sex department. I'm not complaining about it, b/c it's actually really nice for a change, but I'm curious. Why would a guy NOT want to have sex early on? I'm sort of down for it, but he is quick to say things like "I don't have protection tonight, there's lots of other things we can do though" or he just doesn't push for it. Don't get me wrong we definitely make out and do some heavy fooling around...I guess I just haven't met someone who is not interested in having sex when it's basically being offered to them, lol. I know he's not a virgin and everything is in working order, lool, so there's not technical difficulties on his end. what is going on??? Could it be that this guy is really REALLY into me?????
CarrieT Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 He may have ED or other sexual issues you have no knowledge of... 5
ThisisIt606 Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 He may have an STD that he is getting treated that he's embarrassed to tell you about. 1
SunnySide0418 Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 For some reason the first thing that comes to mind is he has herpes or something. OR he's still emotionally hung up on someone else. Maybe he has had sex early with others and wants to try waiting... hard to tell. WHy are you so quick to have sex with him anyway?? 4
Lernaean_Hydra Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 ED, - difficulty maintaining an erection counts as ED too - concerns about size, inexperience, premature ejaculation, uncertain about his feelings for you, fear of pregnancy, I mean the list goes on. Or he could just be one of those guys who's really, really uncomfortable with having sex outside of a committed relationship. It happens. The real question is, why on earth have you not asked him point blank? I mean I know you probably don't want to seem like a sex crazed c*ck-hound but I'm sure you also want some answers as to what his deal is. Frankly the not knowing can often make things worse or cause your impatience to grow. 6
organizedchaos Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 I'm seeing someone who is going VERY slow in the dating department, but its also holding true for the sex department. I'm not complaining about it, b/c it's actually really nice for a change, but I'm curious. Why would a guy NOT want to have sex early on? I'm sort of down for it, but he is quick to say things like "I don't have protection tonight, there's lots of other things we can do though" or he just doesn't push for it. Don't get me wrong we definitely make out and do some heavy fooling around...I guess I just haven't met someone who is not interested in having sex when it's basically being offered to them, lol. I know he's not a virgin and everything is in working order, lool, so there's not technical difficulties on his end. what is going on??? Could it be that this guy is really REALLY into me????? Maybe he was molested as a child and has issues? Who knows. You should ask him what's going on. 1
smg15 Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 I'm seeing someone who is going VERY slow in the dating department, but its also holding true for the sex department. I'm not complaining about it, b/c it's actually really nice for a change, but I'm curious. Why would a guy NOT want to have sex early on? I'm sort of down for it, but he is quick to say things like "I don't have protection tonight, there's lots of other things we can do though" or he just doesn't push for it. Don't get me wrong we definitely make out and do some heavy fooling around...I guess I just haven't met someone who is not interested in having sex when it's basically being offered to them, lol. I know he's not a virgin and everything is in working order, lool, so there's not technical difficulties on his end. what is going on??? Could it be that this guy is really REALLY into me????? Well he is trying to avoid you getting pregnant which is a good thing the last time I checked.
Author chicaboom Posted November 30, 2014 Author Posted November 30, 2014 wow, everyone's answers are freaking me the **** out! o.k to clarify I know for a FACT that he does not have ED or any trouble getting hard or maintaining an erection. We've gone far enough for me to know that. there's really know problems down there for him. ughhh getting a little scared reading everyone's answers, lol. I will just ask him next time I suppose.
Author chicaboom Posted November 30, 2014 Author Posted November 30, 2014 For some reason the first thing that comes to mind is he has herpes or something. OR he's still emotionally hung up on someone else. Maybe he has had sex early with others and wants to try waiting... hard to tell. WHy are you so quick to have sex with him anyway?? I don't necessarily want to have sex with him right now. I'm actually enjoying waiting in some ways, but it's just new territory for me. I've never dated a guy who hasn't really pushed for sex and is almost as equally happy to wait as I am. It's just a bit interesting to me and I wanted to know why he might want to wait? We aren't kids either, he's 30 and I"m 29...
Author chicaboom Posted November 30, 2014 Author Posted November 30, 2014 ED, - difficulty maintaining an erection counts as ED too - concerns about size, inexperience, premature ejaculation, uncertain about his feelings for you, fear of pregnancy, I mean the list goes on. Or he could just be one of those guys who's really, really uncomfortable with having sex outside of a committed relationship. It happens. The real question is, why on earth have you not asked him point blank? I mean I know you probably don't want to seem like a sex crazed c*ck-hound but I'm sure you also want some answers as to what his deal is. Frankly the not knowing can often make things worse or cause your impatience to grow. I didn't really know how to phrase it...and I also can't really tell if he's trying to be a gentleman or genuinely doesn't want ot have sex yet...
sillyanswer Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 I'm seeing someone who is going VERY slow in the dating department, but its also holding true for the sex department. I'm not complaining about it, b/c it's actually really nice for a change, but I'm curious. Why would a guy NOT want to have sex early on? I'm sort of down for it, but he is quick to say things like "I don't have protection tonight, there's lots of other things we can do though" or he just doesn't push for it. Don't get me wrong we definitely make out and do some heavy fooling around...I guess I just haven't met someone who is not interested in having sex when it's basically being offered to them, lol. I know he's not a virgin and everything is in working order, lool, so there's not technical difficulties on his end. what is going on??? Could it be that this guy is really REALLY into me????? Why not ask him? For example, the excuse of "I don't have protection tonight" might be true... but have you suggested "you should get some for next time" ? Or, even, go and buy some condoms yourself. Or, just ask him if he wants to have sex with you. Ask him when he last got tested for STDs and what the results were while you're there (and share with him when you last got tested, too). If you can't have a conversation about having sex (which I appreciate takes 2 people... not just you) then you're (collectively) not ready to have sex. Maybe he's not ready. That's fine (unless you're not prepared to accept it). 1
Dallers Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 Really really into you or the opposite. I would not go so far as the STD and molestation bandwagon so quickly. If I like someone and i'm not that into them I will still go out with them. I am probably the only male that actually friend zones girls but there are so many of them and 99% of the time I do not like them like that. I always seem to go for the girl that causes me the most pain and problem and ignore the nice girls that I should be going for. Personally you should consider backing away from him as you might be just a distraction for him while he waits on another girl. 1
Author chicaboom Posted November 30, 2014 Author Posted November 30, 2014 Really really into you or the opposite. I would not go so far as the STD and molestation bandwagon so quickly. If I like someone and i'm not that into them I will still go out with them. I am probably the only male that actually friend zones girls but there are so many of them and 99% of the time I do not like them like that. I always seem to go for the girl that causes me the most pain and problem and ignore the nice girls that I should be going for. Personally you should consider backing away from him as you might be just a distraction for him while he waits on another girl. Thanks for your insight. I'm personally not sure about him either, which is why i'm pretty happy that we're not having sex yet, but I was just curious as to why a might not be as pushy for it. That's fine if he's not sure about me either. I guess I'll just keep going along until I figure out whether I really like him enough to want to have sex.
newmoon Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 the only guy i have ever come across that did this to me ended up being very confused sexually. i thought he was gay, it turned out he was bi. imo normal guys don't friendzone and wait a willing woman. there is an underlying issue. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 Wow. Just because a guy isn't obsessed with sexual intercourse, he's got to be "gay", "bisexual", "have an STD" or "ED". Wow. It couldn't possibly be because he wants to go slow. Of course not. Because real men want sex and they always want it now. Right? Good grief... 9
newmoon Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 Wow. Just because a guy isn't obsessed with sexual intercourse, he's got to be "gay", "bisexual", "have an STD" or "ED". Wow. It couldn't possibly be because he wants to go slow. Of course not. Because real men want sex and they always want it now. Right? Good grief... well, she already said he wasn't a virgin and likes to make out with her, so going slow isn't his issue. 1
E-Squared Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 Man, you women are judgmental, aren't you? 1
Ruby Slippers Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 It's a simple fact of nature that most men want to get sexual as soon as possible. It's also been my experience that the only guy who ever delayed sex like this turned out to have pretty significant ED issues. He would get hard while making out, but had trouble maintaining an erection during sex. 1
rester Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 I've delayed sex like this in the past, and it was because of performance anxiety with a new woman. 2
smg15 Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 Wow. Just because a guy isn't obsessed with sexual intercourse, he's got to be "gay", "bisexual", "have an STD" or "ED". Wow. It couldn't possibly be because he wants to go slow. Of course not. Because real men want sex and they always want it now. Right? Good grief... I think it's because so many woman expect me to always want sex which is a crazy way to think 1
smg15 Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 It's a simple fact of nature that most men want to get sexual as soon as possible. It's also been my experience that the only guy who ever delayed sex like this turned out to have pretty significant ED issues. He would get hard while making out, but had trouble maintaining an erection during sex. But what if a guy doesn't have protection?
Ruby Slippers Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 But what if a guy doesn't have protection? If he wants it to happen, he'll bring condoms or drive to the store to get them. 2
smg15 Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 So a guy can never ever turn down sex without it being something wrong interesting 1
oldshirt Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 How long are we talking here? The devil is in the details. If you've been dating a year, then yeah there's some kind of dysfunction taking place. If it's been a week then all this talk of ED, STD and molestation is way out of line. 2
Els Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 There are heaps of reasons - religion, cultural upbringing, personality, etc. Contrary to popular belief, not all men jump at the offer of sex at any time from anyone, especially when you're not even in a relationship yet. Sex is a big deal for some people, regardless of gender. I don't necessarily want to have sex with him right now. I'm actually enjoying waiting in some ways, but it's just new territory for me. I've never dated a guy who hasn't really pushed for sex and is almost as equally happy to wait as I am. What is the problem then? I think you're looking for issues where there might not necessarily be any. It is 'possible' that he could have a STD, etc, but then again if you've not seen test results, there is an equal possibility that a guy who jumps at having sex on the first date has an STD too (and is just being irresponsible about it). 3
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