Different Feelings for Boyfriend and Friend

[goldenbear]

Some background: I was sort of dating/hooking up with one of my guy friends for about a month and we go to college together (I’m a woman). At the same time, I met this guy from work and we started talking and he asked me to get dinner with him and I said yes. I told this to the guy I was dating/hooking up with and he then confessed that he wanted to officially date me because he has feeling for me. Anyway, I was unsure whether to pursue the guy I had been hooking up with, or my coworker because I was already happy with the idea of dating my friend but I also connected better emotionally with my coworker due to our similar family situation.

 

Since then, I have been dating my friend for about four months but I still see my coworker at work and in class. My boyfriend and I talked about the situation already and that I have feelings for both of them, but that they are different. I have strong emotions for both, but I’m happy with my boyfriend and I want to be with him. My feelings for my coworker are not big, but not insignificant either; I just can’t really explain what these feelings are because they are different than what I feel for my boyfriend. I think part of it has to do with the fact that I went on that date with my coworker and I saw possibility and now it is still on my mind. I just feel that I am a better “friend” with my coworker because we share similar life stories and we talk a lot about this; however, I cannot say that I would rather be with this other guy than my boyfriend because I am happy with him.

 

I feel guilty about my feelings for my coworker but I am not sure what to do or what they mean. Is it normal for me to expect that after four months I should still have these feelings? I am new to dating so I guess part of it is that I am new to these feelings and still don’t know how to interpret them. I am hopeful that these feelings will disappear but I am going to continue to work with this guy and have classes with him and I really enjoy talking to him, even though we never hang out. I want to be friends with him but not have these feelings. What should I do about the situation because I cannot seem to interpret my feelings and what exactly they mean for each guy? My boyfriend is not happy about this but it is something that I cannot hide from him.

[Thegreatestthing]

I would go with the other guy simply because he asked you out on an actual date which seemed to suggest wanting a relationship,whereas your bf never did anything like that and would not have sought a relationship with you and only did when you brought up dating someone else.

[goldenbear]

Thanks, that is something that I have though about before. Although my boyfriend never did that, it was pretty clear that we wanted to date each other before he actually brought it up.