flsgirl Posted March 19, 2005 Posted March 19, 2005 I just got dumped last Monday. The relationship only lasted a little over four months but regardless, I'm still pretty hurt. I actually liked this guy. It turns out both of us really like each other, but know we're not for each other. I think I ended up liking him more than I should. "He" is really busy, working over 60 hrs a week, so I only got to see him after he worked a good 14 hr day. We had a great time at his house just hanging out and being together. We didn't get to go out much but when we did it was a blast. We never fought either. I finally asked him where I stood with him. He is a bit unemotional, so we never actually talked about our feelings for each other. I had a hard time reading him and wanted to know where I stood in his life. The subject was brought up delicately. He wasn't upset with me for asking like lots of guys are about the whole "Where are we going" conversation. He said that he really likes me but doesn't have time for me. He seemed pretty sincere when he told me how amazing I was and listed all of my qualities that he loved about me and ended it on saying I don't want to lose you. Besides the time factor, he too started to realize that we're very different people. I don't know if what he said is true or he wanted an easy way out. I left him that night without crying and a hug. I then went home a bawled and did for a few days. Now I'm just sad and missing him. He claimed he still really wants me in his life. Once again I don't know if he's just being nice. He hasn't called, even though I returned some stuff and with a funny note on it (I knew he would be at work). I turned off my phone because it helps me keep some sense of sanity with not expecting to hear his ring. I'm close to having my roommates confisgate it so I won't call. I haven't yet and I have too much pride to anyway. I hate this waiting period. I wonder if this is a true sign of how much he cares? Granted it's been only a week, but I figured I'd hear from him especially since I left all his stuff. I half expect him to call and say he messed up and I half expect to never hear from him again. Expect the worst, but hope for the best, right? It wasn't meant to be...; Everything happens for a reason; there are more fish in the sea. I'm reciting all of my favorite cliches hoping I'll actually believe them in this situation.
lynnered Posted March 19, 2005 Posted March 19, 2005 i can understand your situation from both sides, from him(maybe )with all the working he doesnt want to put forth the effort of a relationship , I've went through this working 2 jobs , it was just easier go to work ,go home go to bed&thats all i had to deal with maybe he's really focused ? the only thing i questions is him saying your 2 different people, that sounds like that maybe the real reason &he just threw in work to make you feel better ? but only he really knows , from your side i dated a guy for probly 5 months ,it wasn't a sexual relationship ,we hung out ,kissed ,nothing beyond that , well the breakup came when i asked that , where is this going , that resulted in a long talk , i was supposed to call him to talk more , and he basically avoided me !!! this jerk was a friend for 6 months before we started dating !! i like you waited for that call which never came , i would just let go , btw a friend ran into this guy at the mall a year later &he tells her he had that "special feeling for me", by then i was dating a really nice guy !!(I'm not with now,but so is life) trust me a relationship that short,you will get over pretty quick ,if you keep busy , Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness. --James Thurber The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not. --George Bernard Shaw
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted March 20, 2005 Posted March 20, 2005 Wow i could have written that. It's only been a few day, and I called him and left a message asking if we still had some things to talk about and call me later when you have a chance. But our reasons were exactly the same - he works long days and didn't have time for me, so it was kind of expected and mutual. I hopefully will hear from him before a week is up. I gave him a gift that's still at my place - I guess I could take it to him but would really like him to come here one last time (I'm an hour away). Good luck! Even if the love is there, I've realized I need time to get to a place where I don't need someone else to make me happy.
SoleMate Posted March 20, 2005 Posted March 20, 2005 It's a tough situation, but I would suggest you strive for clarity by remembering that when words and actions conflict, you should look at the actions. This is actually a case where words and actions both combine to say that whatever else may be the case, he is not planning to make you a priority in his life. Sure, he'd like to "have" you in his life - he just has very little time or emotional energy to expend to make that happen. I'm glad you're being strong and using NC. The pain will go away faster with NC and your friends' support. Good luck, there is a man out there somewhere who wants to make you a priority in his life.
Author flsgirl Posted March 23, 2005 Author Posted March 23, 2005 So I went out to a club last night with my two roommates. One of them had a friend that had "reserved" a table for us in the VIP section. Whatever, it sounded fun and I just wanted to dance. Being that I live in an area with a lot of spring breakers, this place was insane! You couldn't move. It was nice to have a table to sit. I was dancing and have a great time. I sat down to take a breather and then I noticed "him" walking toward me. It turns out he had the table next to us reserved! We sat next to each other for almost a half hour before we noticed each other. Yeah, we saw each other the exact same time. He grabbed my hand and gave me a kiss on the cheek and said "hey sweetheart." We haven't spoken since he dumped me last week. He was with his best girl friend who flew in for her spring break. Can you say "Awkward!" My roommate grabbed my hand we went back on the dance floor. After a little while I couldn't take it anymore and was ready to leave. I smiled at him and said bye. That was it. You could tell he noticed it was wierd too. I managed not to cry until into I got in the car. I'm getting better at that. I felt awful and immature by mostly ignoring him even though he left it on good terms. My roommates said they were impressed about how cool I was. I don't know. I miss him so much, but I can't see him right now because it will delay the process of me getting over him. So I'm guessing the post-break up phone call is definitely not happening now...
Recommended Posts