lakerman34 Posted November 29, 2014 Posted November 29, 2014 (edited) So, my ex and I had a very short-lived, intense relationship. We broke up about 3 months ago followed by about 2 months NC. We are also neighbors. Our roommates all work together, and she and I have sort of put a dark cloud over the house. About two weeks ago, she sort of told me that everything was cool. It didn't feel this way though. We were with friends having "BrunchGiving" this weekend. She was picking on me, but was kind of mean about it. Yesterday night, I texted her and told her I was ready for peace. She invited me to her house. She was cleaning, and very distracted, so I just read for a while. Then I fell asleep. When I woke up, she started talking to me. VERY guarded, very defensive. We spoke about the relationship. She told me she viewed me negatively. She was VERY distant. As the night went on, we got jokier, she got looser, she told me EVERYTHING going on in her life. She told me that she was only 75% over me. She called me cute. She told me she missed having a warm body and is actively looking for one. After the conversation, she said that she felt more positively about me. I apologized for making her feel bad. I didn't say anything like "I miss you" or anything. We spoke about the sex. She said, "it WAS great." She showed me a writing portfolio she did in the 6th grade. We laughed and joked about that. She advised me to shave my goatee because I'm "cuter clean shaven." I asked her if she thought we could ever be friends. She said, "as long as we live next to each other, I won't be over you, so no." I made some physical contact. She didn't resist. The end of the night, I was saying "goodnight" to her, and she stuck out her hand for a handshake. I laughed and said, "I'm not your business partner." I grabbed her, hugged her, rocked her a bit." Then I took her hands, wrapped them around me, and pulled her head in. She didn't resist. I'm not looking to reconcile with her. That'd be a mess. I'm just a little confused as what this all means. I'm still focusing my energy on other girls (casually dating one, about to with another), BUT what does this mean for me and her? EDIT: I think she said the reason why she was so distant was because she knew she'd end up liking me again and didn't want to go thru the motions of the inevitable breakup. It was really messy. Edited November 29, 2014 by lakerman34
SoThatHappened Posted November 29, 2014 Posted November 29, 2014 You need to do whatever you can to physically get away from her. You just set yourself back. She seems to be using you as an emotional tampon, and you're falling right into it. She's giving you snide quips... not a good sign, trust me. Get out of this situation ASAP. If not the entire thing, at least move.
Author lakerman34 Posted November 30, 2014 Author Posted November 30, 2014 You need to do whatever you can to physically get away from her. You just set yourself back. She seems to be using you as an emotional tampon, and you're falling right into it. She's giving you snide quips... not a good sign, trust me. Get out of this situation ASAP. If not the entire thing, at least move. I don't know. Today she's acting distant-ish towards me. I came into my house after the gym, saw her, said hi, she said "hey." She and I had this long discussion about engagement rings, and how she thought they were extremely important in a proposal when I told her "F that. I'm proposing with 2 tickets to Mauritius." She just walked out. Not angry, just sort of mid-conversation. I texted her to let her know I had her movie (DVD she has wanted back since we dated), and she said she'd "pick it up later today" (still hasn't -- it's 10:30PM). As I took the garbage out just now, she's pulling out of the driveway. I wonder if she's FINALLY going to get her "fix" (she said she REALLY was sexually frustrated and would hit ANYTHING right now). I was THIS close to offering myself, but eh. Maybe another time.
Author lakerman34 Posted December 3, 2014 Author Posted December 3, 2014 (edited) So it was all but confirmed to me by my roommate that she was, indeed, sleeping with a friend that was visiting the city (he's in a traveling honkey-tonk band) from college. I had a ROUGH day after hearing that. Then, the next day, everything was very OK. I really stayed away from interaction from her, except when she was in my house and she was making comments about what I was doing. "Strawberry protein? Bleh." "This is late to cook." Today, I was in my room about to order Chinese. I was taking a relaxing day after some very long days of work. She comes into my house, all the way to the back room (one of my roommates rooms). My bedroom door was open. She asked him if he wanted to go to FroYo. Then, passing me, she said, "anyone else wanna go get FroYo? John, want to go get FroYo?" I passed. If she wants to hang out with me, it will be one on one, and we'll be doing something productive. One of my co-teachers asked me about her. She's in her 50s. She told me, "you're a REALLY good looking man and can get any girl you want. This one will ask you for sex. You better say no. She's crazy and if you get back into your rut or back into a relationship with her, you deserve what ever happens to you. If she wants to blow you, that's fine though. Give her nothing." Edited December 3, 2014 by lakerman34
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