Christophe Posted November 29, 2014 Posted November 29, 2014 Really, really struggling tonight. Don't feel like I had a productive Saturday and despair is setting in big time. Every weekend I want to do something and be out socialising like my ex is but I think this weekend is another weekend at home on my own. I only really have one friend who I can see and I tried contacting her 3 ways and she has not responded. I hate this. I feel so helpless and useless. I feel like I am dying a little more every day. I don't know how well I am expressing my desperation but I am in a very dark place right now. I don't know what to do. I see no hope anymore. Every week seems to get harder these days. I just want to feel something with someone. Anything. I can't take another weekend going by on my own. I could really use some help right now.
love2ride Posted November 29, 2014 Posted November 29, 2014 Your not alone man. I'm in the same boat. I have to re evaluate my life and re discover who I am. The pain sucks, you have to go through it. I go and walk for hours.
Author Christophe Posted November 29, 2014 Author Posted November 29, 2014 Thanks mate I appreciate your support. Sorry to hear you are struggling too. It's good to know I'm not alone. Thankfully my friend eventually got back to me and I am going out tonight. Going to really do my best to enjoy it and not think too much. I have to just be myself and go with the flow. I hope I can write on here tomorrow with a positive message.
Sad26 Posted November 29, 2014 Posted November 29, 2014 I feel the same despair, and longing for ex. I hate weekends now. Weekdays you can drown yourself in work. Been like this for months. However ex is partying every weekend, just like yours.
Ronni_W Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 (edited) I feel so helpless and useless. I feel like I am dying a little more every day. I don't know how well I am expressing my desperation but I am in a very dark place right now. I don't know what to do. I see no hope anymore. Christophe, I'm getting to the end of overcoming a situation that triggered similar feelings within myself. As you know, to say that it sucks is the most massive understatement. The tools that I eventually found most helpful are not part of "common" or everyday mentality; relating to weaknesses in our auric/energy fields, rather than there being some defect in our minds and feelings. If these are not in keeping with your personal philosophy/belief system, please reject and ignore them. 1. There's the approach on this website. 2. And then there's the approach introduced here. (The full audio is here, and it goes with this call.) Both speak to the same subject matter, but the brain may find one or the other easier to work with. Whether or not, I sincerely do hope that you will soon find the tools that will be most helpful for you. Hugs and best. Edited November 30, 2014 by Ronni_W Uncooperative links 1
ballycastle Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 Hi Im with you too on that, it's crippling. I've been through 2 breakups in 2 years, although the 2nd was a slow fade. That was almost 6 months ago and my mental health has got worse. In addition I am burnt out from work and physically ill all the time. I have stopped going out, it's no fun friends seeing you in constant pain so I've had to hide myself away. The pain of rejection has left me so completely traumatised and shocked. He was the last person I thought would abandon me particularly after telling me my first ex was a fool to do the same thing, that I was attractive, cultural, interesting blah blah blah. I can only factor myself as the common denominator so I believe me to be utterly repellent to men. It has left me totally mistrustful of what people say to me (hence me avoiding everyone) I don't know when it will end for me neither, I just don't think I'm strong enough to get through the other end. Sorry I've not left you anything positive just to say i empathise with you totally.
Author Christophe Posted November 30, 2014 Author Posted November 30, 2014 Thank you ballycastle I'm sorry to hear how you are struggling. We have to believe we can get through this and find someone better. Everyone says we will. I am struggling to believe today but I really want to. I am glad to hear I am not alone in this.
Beergoggles Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 (edited) I don't know if this will help, but I was in a very similar situation to yours just 4 months ago, going through a nasty break up and feeling all alone. After so many years in a relationship, I didn't really have a lot of friends (I neglected them a bit during the 3 years with my ex). I had to move back home to my hometown, and I remember that during summer I just wanted to die basically. I was all alone with my feelings and I had just one friend I felt that I could call. What helped me was that I randomly met one of my old friends from high school at the grocery store. She said I looked good, and we spoke a bit. And suddenly I was there telling her all about how I had been cheated on and broken up with. And that I was feeling really lonely. She suggested that we got together, and since then has invited me to every single happening at her house. It put me back in contact with all of my old school friends, and even the ones that I did not know too well from before. They have really pulled through for me. I hope that you have someone from your past that you can contact. Maybe you will be surprised, like me, that they still care for you and still want to hang around. It's a chain reaction really. A couple of months ago I had no one, now I can think of at least 10 people I can call to hang out, and about 40 I would invite if I was to have a party or so. Keep hoping, and don't give up! It will get better, I promise! Edited November 30, 2014 by Beergoggles Typos 1
ballycastle Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 How do you know it will get better? Ppl always say this. What if it doesn't? What then?
Beergoggles Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 (edited) How do you know it will get better? Ppl always say this. What if it doesn't? What then? Well, for my part, I guess it's plain logic. We can all agree on the principle that every situation, action or feeling we experience in life will have a start and an end. When someone starts crying, for example, they will eventually have to stop. When someone falls asleep, they will eventually wake up etc. Very few things in life will stay with us our entire lifetime, meaning that very few things in life are constant. Our lives are all about transitions. From one action to a new action. From one day to another day. From one emotion to another emotion. Can you think of one thing in your life that you do not see an ending to? You get my point. Something you experience can last for a long time, but eventually it will end and you will shift your focus onto something else (worst case scenario: it will end when your life ends). Nothing is forever. One day in your life, the pain you are going through right now will end. And when that pain ends, your situation will hopefully get better. (I reckon that your life without the pain you are experiencing right now, is better than the life with the pain) I know it's very tough being in all of the hurt. But you need to know that it is not going to last forever. You will be able to see an end to it. And the more you shift your focus onto something else, the lesser the space it is going to occupy in your life. I don't know if you understand my philosophy here, and we might disagree, but I'm just trying to explain my thought behind the sentence you questioned. For my part, focusing on the endings are a nice reassurance that I will not indeed hurt for the rest of my life. I will be forced to transition, even if I don't want to. Edited November 30, 2014 by Beergoggles Typos 1
OneConfuzedGuy Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 I can relate exactly how everyone is feeling in this post. I am 3 months in and I feel like I am in a dark place. Hard to get through every f****** day. I dont know how I have the energy anymore. My head hurts at times for thinking so much. I only feel relaxed a little bit in the evening which leads me to staying up late and not getting great sleep. Then I wake up each morning like **** gotta do it all over again. It really sucks and doesn't feel like it will get better. I am feeling just like all of you. I just want to feel better.
love2ride Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 You know what I'm doing to fight this ****. I watched "The Secret" basically the law of attraction. I'm forcing only positive thoughts for myself. Giving myself dreams and working to manifest them with my thoughts. Give it a try read or watch "The Secret". I swear it helps
michael8787 Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 (edited) I'm going though the exact same thing currently. Been a month so far also trying to overcome anxiety and depression. Weekends I just cannot turn off and stop thinking about her. I don't have a single friend to talk to or see. I struggle everyday to get up. Edited December 6, 2014 by michael8787
Recommended Posts