Frank2thepoint Posted December 2, 2014 Posted December 2, 2014 This caught me off guard and I freaked out. Your behavior contradicts your screen name. No lie - totally felt like an idiot not saying anything. What the heck is wrong with me? You mean you couldn't even utter a simple "Hi", and smile at her?
Author CalmandCarryOn Posted December 2, 2014 Author Posted December 2, 2014 Your behavior contradicts your screen name. You mean you couldn't even utter a simple "Hi", and smile at her? How do I ask her out???
doeblin Posted December 2, 2014 Posted December 2, 2014 How do I ask her out??? You said you talk to her, right? (If you don't talk to her regularly, then you know, just talk to her first.) So next time you talk to her pop the question casually: "Hey you want to go bowling and have a coffee saturday afternoon?" Or: "We should go to the aquarium on Sunday!" Or: "We should totally go ice skating Friday evening!" Or something like that. You know, whatever people your age do in your area. Don't sweat it. Be cool. 1
Frank2thepoint Posted December 2, 2014 Posted December 2, 2014 How do I ask her out??? It's not rocket science. Approach her, say "Hi", smile, then talk to her about how you've noticed she glances at you, but looks away shyly when you glance at her. Then suggest going out on a date to get to know each other.
Author CalmandCarryOn Posted December 2, 2014 Author Posted December 2, 2014 It's not rocket science. Approach her, say "Hi", smile, then talk to her about how you've noticed she glances at you, but looks away shyly when you glance at her. Then suggest going out on a date to get to know each other. Okay! I'll let you know what she says.....
Author CalmandCarryOn Posted December 3, 2014 Author Posted December 3, 2014 You said you talk to her, right? (If you don't talk to her regularly, then you know, just talk to her first.) So next time you talk to her pop the question casually: "Hey you want to go bowling and have a coffee saturday afternoon?" Or: "We should go to the aquarium on Sunday!" Or: "We should totally go ice skating Friday evening!" Or something like that. You know, whatever people your age do in your area. Don't sweat it. Be cool. ....Ran into her tonight. It was AWESOME - except that she was walking with another guy. They stopped and we talked for a little. In our conversation she shared that her week wasn't too bad and didn't have a lot of homework to do, and then later I asked her if she was free anytime and she said... ...she would have "to look to see and message me or something". Didn't seem excited when I asked. Bummer.
callingyouuu Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 Welcome to my life. My crush and I had a small group thing for an hour for school today, and I just clammed up and didn't say a single thing to her. ....Ran into her tonight. It was AWESOME - except that she was walking with another guy. I probably wouldn't have asked her out if she were walking with someone else. Chin up though, you made an effort!
Author CalmandCarryOn Posted December 3, 2014 Author Posted December 3, 2014 Welcome to my life. My crush and I had a small group thing for an hour for school today, and I just clammed up and didn't say a single thing to her. I probably wouldn't have asked her out if she were walking with someone else. Chin up though, you made an effort! ...sigh....
Author CalmandCarryOn Posted December 3, 2014 Author Posted December 3, 2014 Welcome to my life. My crush and I had a small group thing for an hour for school today, and I just clammed up and didn't say a single thing to her. I probably wouldn't have asked her out if she were walking with someone else. Chin up though, you made an effort! I guess I just don't understand WHY. If she's not interested, then why the glances whenever I've passed her. The interactions that we've had in the past - she's got to know that there's interest from my end. If so and she's not, why not shut me down cold? Why tonight when she was walking with the dude and I was finishing up a conversation with someone did she look over and then stop to talk? That could've been an easy escape from a dude she's not into...... Why message me before Thanksgiving sharing an article to an interest that I have and wishing me a great thanksgiving? Why give me her number when I asked for it if she's not into me? I don't understand....
doeblin Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 She could be attracted to you even if she has a bf. And it's possible that that guy is not her bf. Just keep talking to her and ask her out. (Until she makes it clear she isn't interested.) When you ask her out, ask her out for a specific activity at a specific time.
callingyouuu Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 The interactions that we've had in the past - she's got to know that there's interest from my end. If so and she's not, why not shut me down cold? To be honest, she really might not have known if you didn't ask her out. Even if she did suspect you liked her and wasn't interested, it may have been too awkward to shut you down if she didn't know for sure. Why message me before Thanksgiving sharing an article to an interest that I have and wishing me a great thanksgiving? Why give me her number when I asked for it if she's not into me? Because she likes you at least as a friend? It sounds like you got emotionally invested before asking her out, which put you in a vulnerable position when you finally did. Nothing to be ashamed of, happens to all of us!
Author CalmandCarryOn Posted December 3, 2014 Author Posted December 3, 2014 She could be attracted to you even if she has a bf. And it's possible that that guy is not her bf. Just keep talking to her and ask her out. (Until she makes it clear she isn't interested.) When you ask her out, ask her out for a specific activity at a specific time. But aren't the signs pretty obvious? What's the point?
doeblin Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 But aren't the signs pretty obvious? What's the point? My first post in this thread was: STOP worrying about the signs! Now, I'm not saying she definitely likes you.... but you didn't really ask her out for a specific date. You said: "Are you free anytime?" You should be more specific. Now my advice is, you can try again, but in the meantime talk to other girls. See who else is out there. I guess you're still in school, so don't worry about this, just go with the flow, get to know new people (girls) etc etc If you make yourself comfortable with the ladies, that will give you an advantage in your dating life later on. Be cool.
Author CalmandCarryOn Posted December 4, 2014 Author Posted December 4, 2014 She could be attracted to you even if she has a bf. And it's possible that that guy is not her bf. Just keep talking to her and ask her out. (Until she makes it clear she isn't interested.) When you ask her out, ask her out for a specific activity at a specific time. The point to keep on trying....
todreaminblue Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 The point to keep on trying.... you have to decide how important it is you know her......you have to make a decision either way and stick to it ...to move on and upwards......either way...you have to make that choice and be happy with what you choose to do.....deb
Author CalmandCarryOn Posted December 4, 2014 Author Posted December 4, 2014 (edited) you have to decide how important it is you know her......you have to make a decision either way and stick to it ...to move on and upwards......either way...you have to make that choice and be happy with what you choose to do.....deb It's important in that I won't give up, I just have doubts that if I still continue to pursue it will eventually open more doors of disappointment. Edited December 4, 2014 by CalmandCarryOn
Author CalmandCarryOn Posted December 4, 2014 Author Posted December 4, 2014 you have to decide how important it is you know her......you have to make a decision either way and stick to it ...to move on and upwards......either way...you have to make that choice and be happy with what you choose to do.....deb I don't think she's dated anyone before. Could this be why there are mixed signals?
Author CalmandCarryOn Posted December 4, 2014 Author Posted December 4, 2014 I'm so confused guys. Why would a girl agree to meet me for coffee, and in the entire 2.5 hour conversation - never once look at her phone or watch and give you full attention the entire time - when you message her the next day about How much you enjoyed the time with her - she says she had a great time as well. Over the next month you bump into her here and there going across campus, and have small talk in passing. Each time she passes you- you notice that she glances at you, and even turns to look at you. This goes on for a month and she hits you up online sharing a link to a story she found cool and thought you would enjoy. She wishes you a happy thanksgiving. You end up in a little conversation and then end up asking her For her number- she gives it to you and again wishes you a great Thanksgiving. When you return from Thanksgivinf, she passes you from behind at one point and you turn - completely caught off guard as she walks by. You glance at her, but she isn't looking, so you glance away, but then she glances at you again before you have the chance to say something. A few days later she passes you again and in your conversation she shares how she has a pretty light week schedule wise. You ask her if she's free anytime the rest of the week or weekend and she says that she'll have to check her schedule and let you know. You're completely knocked off guard by her response. *Added info: -She is with a guy who is dating her friend when you inquire if she is free during the weekend- could this have played a role?
Author CalmandCarryOn Posted December 4, 2014 Author Posted December 4, 2014 eh you never know? Just ask her out again? So even you're confused too...
sm2281 Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 well sometimes people have good reasons for behaving the way they do. Maybe she jut has an erratic schedule. If you like her, ask her out again and see what happens.
TiredConfusedHurtSad Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 What does it matter? She changed her mind about you, she's got her eye on someone else, maybe she found out you like Star Trek -- etc., etc., et al. I just hope you're not taking this as a "break-up".... Seriously, I've had girls give me fake phone numbers; why?? Maybe they didn't want to make me look bad, maybe they felt sorry for me, maybe they wanted to teach me a lesson and not bother (approach) females in public -- who knows?
Detectingfreak Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 its a chasing game with girls. its easier just to be co workers with them and nothing more.
Author CalmandCarryOn Posted December 4, 2014 Author Posted December 4, 2014 its a chasing game with girls. its easier just to be co workers with them and nothing more. It's not chasing. Just genuine curious as to what her behavior means... 1
Detectingfreak Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 it means she aint interested and is playing games with you. Don't get your heart broken like i did. it is so not worth it. Have fun with your friends, enjoy life and I assume your in your early 20's like I am. I am 25 and the worst mistake ever was getting in a two year relationship with a girl. Relationships arn't everything. They will cost you money, time and independence.
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