Im 22 and a virgin and never had a girlfriend and feel like I'll never get one?

[DeliciousPizza]

Anyways my cousin who is like 7 months younger then me got a girlfriend like 3 months ago and I am so jealous seeing their facebook pictures. At work I am one of the youngest but get along with lots of girls there, the two people I work with in frozen are 25 and 26 and are boyfriend and girlfriend, and I am good guys with him, and his girlfriend has told me a lot of times that I am very nice and sweet, and that they enjoy working with me. I've had a couple other people at work (both older and in a relationship) tell me similar things too. Unfortunately I never hear anything from single females my age, it's like they don't even care.

[The Poster]

Just relax man. I didn't kiss my first girl or lose my virginity until a few weeks before I turned 23. Stay patient and put yourself out there and you'll find someone.

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

people lose it at different stages. Don't worry. You'll find someone soon enough. Be patient don't give up and get yourself out there.

[TheyCallMeOx]

Before I get into some philosophical ****, I'll be the first to say this:

 

Delete.

Your.

****ing.

Facebook.

 

Get rid of that crap. It's filled with nothing but attention whores, cheesy inspirational quotes, and status updates from successful people indirectly saying "my life sucks, but at least I'm not you." You're going to see a lot of couples making out, producing babies, finding careers, getting married, having abortions, etc. If you have friends who are in their 20's, you'll especially see that kind of ****. People usually broadcast the good stuff on Facebook, and leave the bad stuff out. A lot of the bad stuff is the stuff that you need to see because relationships aren't all rainbows and butterflies. One minute, you'll see a dude's Facebook status talking about how a woman came into his life and thought she was his soul-mate, and the next...his Facebook account mysteriously disappeared, or he's posting music videos about broken hearts and ****. Quitting Facebook was one of the best decisions I've ever made online, and I'm never going back; and that's one of the reasons why. There's really no reason to have Facebook.

 

With that being said, let me tell you a couple things about my life. When I was 18 years old, I lost my virginity to a woman I met over the internet. She wasn't attractive, but she had a vagina...and that was all that mattered. I wanted to lose my virginity because I felt like it was going to help me become a man. When I lost my virginity, nothing changed; the only thing that changed was bragging rights. Now I had a sexual story to tell people, and that was the only thing that changed. I still grew the same amount of chest hair, my balls didn't drop, my penis didn't grow 3 inches, my voice didn't lower. Nothing changed. At the time, I was perfectly okay with that because at least I could say it happened; at least I got laid, and I didn't regret it.

 

The second time I had sex, I thought it'd be different because I wasn't a virgin anymore. The sex was awkward because I was terrible; I hadn't learned a thing. The sex was worse than my first time, even if the woman was better looking.

 

The third woman I had sex with was the person I was in love with for over 2 years. About halfway into the relationship, we started experiencing sexual problems. I couldn't stay hard, I couldn't ejaculate normally, and **** was bad enough till she stopped getting aroused. She'd have to apply lubrication, I'd keep giving the excuse "it's the condom" or "maybe I'm just not horny," and sex with her just wasn't the same. I couldn't turn her on anymore because she knew I was going to disappoint her, so why try? We tried different stuff, but it just didn't work. I thought having more sex would make sexual experiences better because I'd be more experienced, but that wasn't the case. When I'd see her and we didn't have sex, I'd be disappointed that I didn't get laid, and end up jerkin' off to pornography. Rarely did that happen because she always wanted to "take care of [me]," but I always expected to get sex. My relationship with her sort of revolved around sex. She couldn't take her clothes off without me trying to pounce on her, she couldn't take a shower without me trying to join. She would give the "I'm on my period" excuse, and I'd be like...I don't care, even if she was in pain, a part of me wanted to say "sex helps relieve cramps." I'd also want to go as far to say "well there's also anal."

 

After my ex broke up with me, I thought sex was the cure to my broken heart; it wasn't. I got a friends with benefits, one night stands, and still felt like crap. Had anal sex with a couple of women, and I still wanted to kill myself. In between having sex, I was masturbating a lot. Well, if I can't have sex with a woman, or have a relationship with a woman, then I might as well watch porn. Even still, I wasn't happy. Masturbated on a daily basis, several times a day until I felt high; then I'd go to sleep. Then I'd start the process all over again.

 

Sex is fun, don't get me wrong, but it's not the answer. Having a relationship is great, but it's not essential. Neither having sex or having a woman isn't important; nor does it define who you are. You're not your sexual orientation, or your virginity status. If I had waited till marriage to have sex, potentially none of my bad situations would've happened. When a woman dates a dude who has had sex before, she expects him to be better than a virgin. The problem is that all women have different bodies, and some dudes are just better at turning women on than others. Sexual compatibility is also a big thing; if you're not compatible, someone isn't sexually satisfied.

 

In the end, sex is really not that impressive. Anybody can get laid if they put their mind to it, but it doesn't change anything besides the fact that it happened. If you just want to get laid, then just do what I did: find a woman on the internet who is just as sexually frustrated as you are. She might not be that attractive to you, and same goes to her, but if you really feel like having sex with a vagina is going to change something, do whatever you feel like; I'm just saying it's not going to be as great as you hoped.

 

I've had sexual experiences, but I've also failed a lot of times. I've embarrassing moments, spent a lot of money on hotel rooms, lost a lot of potential relationships because of my desire to relieve a temporary feeling, all until the point where I'm at now. And I'll tell you, I'm probably the happiest, most productive, most clear-minded than I have ever been ever since I've gotten laid for the first time. I've stopped watching porn for the past 40 something days, I've stopped pursuing women for any reason, and I haven't had sex in three weeks or so and I'm perfectly okay with that because, in the end, what does it mean? It means absolutely nothing. I'm not going to say that I'd rather be a virgin at 24 years old, but I will say that I should've waited for a woman who was worth my virginity, who wouldn't have judged me, and I shouldn't have been so obsessed with getting laid.

 

It's okay to be alone. It's okay to be a virgin because it doesn't change anything about you whether you have the v-card or not. Some dudes lose their virginity to prostitutes, or people they met over the internet. If I had known that I was going to fall in love, I might've waited. But we don't know, so we have to decide what is more important. Our early 20's are important parts of our lives because a lot of changes may occur. Our focus should be doing things that benefit our future. Losing my virginity at 18 years old didn't do anything. It wasn't life-changing like I thought it would be. I focused on things that didn't really matter, and now I'm trying to repair the damage in my life that I created because of it.

 

You'll be all right. I promise. Just focus on making yourself better, and I'm sure you'll find someone you really care about, or is worth your virginity, and you'll be glad you pushed through the bad times.

 

Hope this helps!

[ThaWholigan]

Best thing to do is relax. Don't focus on your virginity - if you're cool about it and treat it as no big deal then you'll be fine. Probably nobody cares about it as much as you at this point. I was still a virgin at your age and I fretted occasionally. But you get to a point where you just don't care anymore. Focus more on your life and getting better at connecting with people and girls your age, and the worries about virginity will go away. You'll encounter girls who care about it, but just ignore them.

[kolleamm]

Before I get into some philosophical ****, I'll be the first to say this:

 

Delete.

Your.

****ing.

Facebook.

 

Get rid of that crap. It's filled with nothing but attention whores, cheesy inspirational quotes, and status updates from successful people indirectly saying "my life sucks, but at least I'm not you." You're going to see a lot of couples making out, producing babies, finding careers, getting married, having abortions, etc. If you have friends who are in their 20's, you'll especially see that kind of ****. People usually broadcast the good stuff on Facebook, and leave the bad stuff out. A lot of the bad stuff is the stuff that you need to see because relationships aren't all rainbows and butterflies. One minute, you'll see a dude's Facebook status talking about how a woman came into his life and thought she was his soul-mate, and the next...his Facebook account mysteriously disappeared, or he's posting music videos about broken hearts and ****. Quitting Facebook was one of the best decisions I've ever made online, and I'm never going back; and that's one of the reasons why. There's really no reason to have Facebook.

I love that

[d0nnivain]

what are you doing to get a GF? Do you smile & talk to women? Do you put yourself out there. Going to work & coming home to play on your computer won't get you anywhere.

 

 

You need to take steps to meet people:

 

 

join OLD

 

 

go to a meetup group

 

 

play on a co-ed sports team

 

 

tell friends & family you are open to being fixed up. Does your cousins new GF have a any cute single friends?

[AVarma]

You should probably read the thread I made, http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/500725-ladies-would-you-date-28-year-old-virgin.

 

Most of the girls were pretty supportive. If a 28 year old virgin has a shot, a 22 year old should really have no problem.

[max5050]

20 is no problem

30 is a problem

40 is a huge major problem

50 would elicit laughter

[Guitarisgood]

Don't worry dude, I lost mine later in my late 20's. The thing is though there really is no different between a virgin and someone who's awkward at sex. There is no need for you to mention your sexual history. Only thing is, it's not that hard to read up on techniques even if you're not practicing. Knowledge is better than going in gung ho not knowing what you're doing. Regardless, a girl will like sex with you regardless how you are at it if she likes you. So the first thing you should do is get yourself out their and start dating and meeting people.

[AVarma]

Don't worry dude, I lost mine later in my late 20's. The thing is though there really is no different between a virgin and someone who's awkward at sex. There is no need for you to mention your sexual history.

 

It's interesting that you mention this. Do you mean don't mention it when you start dating or don't mention it ever? I mean if you're about to have sex with a woman for the first time, should you mention that you are a virgin or just stay quiet and go with the flow?

[oberkeat]

When I was your age (I'm 28 now) I had the exact same thoughts running through my head. I didn't lose my virginity until a couple of months before I turned 24, and I had already graduated from college. And when I did, it was worth the wait. You've got time, but don't waste it sitting on your ass thinking you're all washed up. Be positive. Just believe in yourself and things will open up for you. That's what happened to me.

Edited November 30, 2014 by oberkeat

[Potz4prez]

Anyways my cousin who is like 7 months younger then me got a girlfriend like 3 months ago and I am so jealous seeing their facebook pictures. At work I am one of the youngest but get along with lots of girls there, the two people I work with in frozen are 25 and 26 and are boyfriend and girlfriend, and I am good guys with him, and his girlfriend has told me a lot of times that I am very nice and sweet, and that they enjoy working with me. I've had a couple other people at work (both older and in a relationship) tell me similar things too. Unfortunately I never hear anything from single females my age, it's like they don't even care.

 

I've got good news and bad news.

 

You'll lose your virginity eventually. Probably drunk.

 

You'll never get a girlfriend (if you don't change). There's a reason you've been single this long.

 

That being said, your insecurities are the root of the problem. Lots of people have great results from seeing a therapist.