californiadreaming Posted November 28, 2014 Posted November 28, 2014 I met a beautiful young woman 3 weeks ago. we went on a date, and instantly connected. Before I go on I will admit I have been battling alcohol for the past few years. To the point where I do not remember what I do or say. With that said, during our first date I told her that I was struggling with alcohol (I know HUGE mistake, but we had such a good time and were so honest with eachother, I felt I had to be honest.) so our second date was a week later and we were suppose to study, but ended up going downtown and getting drunk. Man, did we have a blast. we danced, kissed, and really confessed future plans. From date one we were in constant contact, she is a nurse and works weekends(16 hour shifts) and goes to school during the week for a higher degree. But we texted and talked everyday for the past2 1/2 weeks. It seemed almost promising. Well during this time I ws drinking heavily. I fell asleep when she was suppose to call me once, and was caught slurring one night. And then boom Tuesday night happened. I commited to an outpatient program in order to keep seeing my therapist. So that night I said I was going to drink well I drank too much and called her once while she was studying to say good night, but ended up calling her 2x from the bar drunk, and accusing her of being on a date. The next morning I woke up and checked my phone, and I saw that I called her 3x and was like oh no. So I started texting her at 7am. I texted her about 6 times until about 3pm when she texted me back that she felt I was coming on too strong and I was scaring her. so I stopped. she called me an hour later and explained that I had somethings to work on, and that she supports me. She said that she wanted to be friends. Not only just with me but in general. she stated that she wanted to focus on these last few weeks of school so that she can past her classes with A's. She said she was proud that I was taking a step towards recovery. I told her I was doing it for me, God, and her. She said "don't do it for me, do it for you" I will be here for you. Well she has been with her family for 2 days and I see her instagram, and it is just family stuff, but I miss her so much. I texted her yesterday saying Happy T day and we laughed a little in between the text messages. But when I last texted her good night I told her that I hope to hear from her sooner than later. No text today, she is still with family, but should be heading back to her area or home soon as she does not like to drive in the dark. Am I paranoid or what? what should I do. No contact? or what? I promise I am like no other guy she has met. she has dropped the guy she was interested in for me this week, as well as decided to focus on school for the next 3 weeks. I start treatment Monday.
WhatYouWantToHear Posted November 28, 2014 Posted November 28, 2014 Am I paranoid or what? what should I do. No contact? or what? Or what. You're not right, and I think you'll admit that--you've got a plan to get better and you need to follow it, but right now you're not 100%. What do you think the odds of success are for relationships that start within 1 month of a person seeking your kind of treatment? Not great I'd guess. Don't doom this relationship from the get go just because you're anxious for it to begin. Get better, then when the time is right go back to her to see if she and you are ready.
Author californiadreaming Posted November 28, 2014 Author Posted November 28, 2014 Or what. You're not right, and I think you'll admit that--you've got a plan to get better and you need to follow it, but right now you're not 100%. What do you think the odds of success are for relationships that start within 1 month of a person seeking your kind of treatment? Not great I'd guess. Don't doom this relationship from the get go just because you're anxious for it to begin. Get better, then when the time is right go back to her to see if she and you are ready. Thanks for the response I'm drinking and i texted her. But I smart enough not to call her. I think i am just going to let it pan out since it is so early. I start outpatient Monday. my last night of drinking.
todreaminblue Posted November 28, 2014 Posted November 28, 2014 you do really need to concentrate on you....and not hang off her text messages getting anxious....she said that she supports you in getting better and she is with her family....dont let paranoia set in.....she sounds like a caring and honest person...take her words at face value.....work on you for you .......you know its right....so do it......i wish you peace and hope you beat this battle you are about to face...the serenity prayer to god is your friend when you feel anxious...so is taking it one day at a time.....god be with you..deb
ExpatInItaly Posted November 29, 2014 Posted November 29, 2014 Kudos to you for getting yourself into treatment. That is a big step. You need to leave her alone for now and get yourself well. Until you're in a healthy and happy place, you won't be able to have a healthy and happy relationship. She knows this too. Don't text her again. It is far too early to be dealing with such huge issues, and you need to respect her wishes to just be friends. Focus on your recovery. Best of luck to you.
Author californiadreaming Posted November 29, 2014 Author Posted November 29, 2014 Thank you guys so much. I'm going to not text her and focus on me. If it is meant for us to be together then it will happen overtime once she see's my progress.
Recommended Posts