GuenChan Posted March 19, 2005 Posted March 19, 2005 I recently dated someone in my industry, and we had a great date. Seemed compatible, etc, etc. Anyways we met at my friend's B-day party and he totally hit on me, grabbed my hand, hugged me, and we even kissed. Yeah I was drunk, he was too, but there were serious sparks. Honestly I'm new to the whole dating game, I had a five year relationship that I just broke up from last summer, so I'm not sure how it all works. Anyways he called me at work on the Tuesday after the Sat. that we met. He talked to me on Sat. and had already invited me for some drinks with some of his friends... I said "yeah right, whatever." Thought he was the typical guy just flirting, well he happened to know my friend and she invited him to her B-day... and he went! So we kinda hooked up that night, no sex, just sparks. He told me to call him after. Of course I didn't. Not that confident in myself and if he's interested why should I call? Dating is a whole mind game. Anyways he called me at work (we usually talk at work since he hires my workers) and he asked if we were going to go have drinks tonight, so I said sure, and we went out. Had a great time, made out, etc. I didn't sleep with him. Anyways, next day he calls in and my boss and I were at the end of the day deciding what to give out and he calls for an order. So I tell him that my boss (a womand) was considering it but not sure, and his response was "yeah women can't seem to make up their minds." Immediatly I felt he was referring to our date. So a few days passed by and I decided to give him a call on Friday. We talked and stuff and he "sounded" like he was going to be busy this weekend, and he asked me what I was going to be doing, so I said that some friends are going to the club tonight and I wasn't sure if I was going to go or not. He said "why not, you might meet a hot guy?" I was totally shocked he said that... but couldn't give it a second thought. Anyways he never called me the next day but called me on Sunday around 7pm. I talked for a bit but nothing other than that, we just talked about movies and that, and he was watching one with his roomate so I let him go. He hasn't called me since but I did give him a call on Tuesday to just chat, and we talked for an hour, again he was tired (we both work like 100+ hours a week) and so I let him go. He's called more often to hire trucks but he hasn't asked me for a second date. Not sure if he's just playing, unsure, uninterested, or what. Does anyone with any experience in dating have any idea what this guy is thinking? I'm totally confused, and I am interested in him. Just not sure if I should just let it go, or trust him if he does ever ask for a second date. He's gone skiing with a friend so I wouldn't expect him to call me this weekend. He left Thursday, so I really need a hint on what to expect if he actually likes me, or if it seems like he doesn't already.
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 19, 2005 Posted March 19, 2005 It seems to me that he was interested in you, and when he got to know you more decided that he didn't want to date you. I wouldn't go out of my way to contact him or try to 'talk about things'. Just be friendly to him when you see him (but no more than you would be toward someone you weren't dating), it he calls, chat but keep it short and keep the focus off the "relationship". If he asks you out on a date, you can say 'yes' if you like. I would avoid the 'hey, meet me at the bar with my friends, or meeting for drinks' stuff. That isn't a date so much as an excuse to hook up while avoiding having to go on actual dates.
sarah12 Posted March 20, 2005 Posted March 20, 2005 I agree with LB, he was interested in you but you gave him too many iffy responses that he just couldn't figure you out. If you really like a guy next time, it's not a bad thing to show it just by giving him some positive responses, a few hints here and there. It's OK to let down that guard that you have up protecting yourself because you're afraid guys are just playing with you. They aren't always, and if you don't work on something by letting them know that you are interested, they're not going to come running after you (well, some of the crazy ones still do..). I don't know how old you are but by the sounds of it, after having a 5 year relationship, you're probably old enough that at this age, guys don't want to waste their time if they have a remote idea that your'e not interested in them. I've been where you are now, and I can see how dating i s scary thing..but just keep in mind that it's a two way street, and it doesn't have to be a mind game.
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