AVarma Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 As someone who's still a virgin I was hoping to hide it the first time I have sex. I mean why make things awkward (especially since I'm way past the age where being a virgin is normal)? But I was wondering if you eventually start having a relationship with somebody, is this something I would have to talk about? Have you and your SO ever talked about how you lost your virginity? Or has it simply never come up? Link to post Share on other sites
NoLeafClover Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 I've asked and I've told..being how sensitive I am it has always kicked me in the @$$. So if you don't feel like it's appropriate you don't have to tell them if they ask..I always tell me as a joke cUse it's funny on how nervous haha..not too enjoyable to hear your so losing it someone else though ..oh well Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 how old are the people you date? I don't think anyone over like age of 20 asked me about my virginity or when I lost it. It only used to come up when we were gray areas...ie ages where you could be a virgin w/o being made fun of, or you could be sexually active....both were considered 'normal' Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 NEVER discuss specifics of your prior sexual experiences or lack there of......EVER! Dispute how much people will plead for information and despite how many people will say it's important to "share" that information, there is NEVER a valid reason to disclose your personal matters and it is never anyone's business what has gone on or not gone on in your bedroom prior to them. Disclosing that information can only bite you in the ass, it can never help you. If you say you've been with one person too many or done one act too many, you will be thought of as slutty and indiscriminate and whorish. If you say one person too few you will be thought of as prudish and undesirable and incompetent. No matter what you say, you lose. It is simply no one else's business what has gone on in your bedroom and it is none of your business what has gone on in theirs. People will always cite concern over STDs so if that comes up and is an issue, just get tested and show the results. If you have concerns of their health status, ask for test results from them as well. Unless you belong to a religious sect that requires virginity for a marriage to be validated, your virginity status is no one else's business and they have no right to know and are not entitled to get into your business. People will be tantalized to know where you've been in the past and they will make all sorts of rationalization a and justifications on why you should tell, but there is no valid reason for having that discussion. Just don't go there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 I wouldn't say anything unless you were given overwhelming evidence that the girl in question was into that sort of thing. Like she had a virgin fetish or something. Personally, I don't need to know a woman's sexual history. As long as you're STD-free that's all I need, or want to know. Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 No, this has never been a conversation I've ever had with a boyfriend. It doesn't really matter when, why, how, where you lost your virginity. It's in the past, it's over. And especially if you're "past the age of losing your virginity" your partner will probably just assume you've had sex. I will say this though, if you're a guy, it's kind of hard to "hide" the fact you're a virgin. There's kind of an overall cluelessness, awkward fumbling, and the inevitable early O you will have. I devirgnized one guy before and he was done in literally a minute and a half, actually maybe sooner than that. Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 I will say this though, if you're a guy, it's kind of hard to "hide" the fact you're a virgin. There's kind of an overall cluelessness, awkward fumbling, and the inevitable early O you will have. I devirgnized one guy before and he was done in literally a minute and a half, actually maybe sooner than that. My first time(s) were nothing like that. It was very natural and comfortable and and no PE at all. I'm not saying that either of us were porn stars or the greatest lovers of all time but we had been dating steady for a few months and worked our way up to it incrementally over time and a good time was had by all without any drama or fumbling or awkwardness or discomfort. First times don't have to be disasters or laughing stock, especially if it's with people in a steady relationship that work their way up to it. In my case by the time we had actual intercourse it was simply another act, we had already done everything else prior. It was just another step and it was very nondramatic. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 Actually as much as I hate the #s Qs, this is a Q I routinely ask. I'm not looking for specifics so much as was he in love, was it a one-off thing, did they wait, was it is a drunken thing in college? Depending on your age, it's OK to admit your a virgin. It's not a terminal disease. If you are uncomfortable talking about it, deflect. Say something like "I don't kiss & tell." Link to post Share on other sites
max5050 Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 No, this has never been a conversation I've ever had with a boyfriend. It doesn't really matter when, why, how, where you lost your virginity. It's in the past, it's over. And especially if you're "past the age of losing your virginity" your partner will probably just assume you've had sex. I will say this though, if you're a guy, it's kind of hard to "hide" the fact you're a virgin. There's kind of an overall cluelessness, awkward fumbling, and the inevitable early O you will have. I devirgnized one guy before and he was done in literally a minute and a half, actually maybe sooner than that. There isn't an age to lose it though it's funny if someone's a 50 year old virgin. Link to post Share on other sites
max5050 Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 Actually as much as I hate the #s Qs, this is a Q I routinely ask. I'm not looking for specifics so much as was he in love, was it a one-off thing, did they wait, was it is a drunken thing in college? Depending on your age, it's OK to admit your a virgin. It's not a terminal disease. If you are uncomfortable talking about it, deflect. Say something like "I don't kiss & tell." A lot of guys would just laugh at you if you asked that question. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 A lot of guys would just laugh at you if you asked that question. Perhaps. But I can be persuasive when I want to be. Every man I ever asked, eventually answered the Q. Link to post Share on other sites
max5050 Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 Perhaps. But I can be persuasive when I want to be. Every man I ever asked, eventually answered the Q. I wouldn't answer such a stupid question. I'd laugh at it. It's a power move especially since girls don't like to divulge. I feel sorry for the guys who answered it truthfully because they may have just lost out on sex. Since we're anon here my number is about average for my age. Link to post Share on other sites
Ducky71 Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 NEVER discuss specifics of your prior sexual experiences or lack there of......EVER! Dispute how much people will plead for information and despite how many people will say it's important to "share" that information, there is NEVER a valid reason to disclose your personal matters and it is never anyone's business what has gone on or not gone on in your bedroom prior to them. Disclosing that information can only bite you in the ass, it can never help you. If you say you've been with one person too many or done one act too many, you will be thought of as slutty and indiscriminate and whorish. If you say one person too few you will be thought of as prudish and undesirable and incompetent. No matter what you say, you lose. It is simply no one else's business what has gone on in your bedroom and it is none of your business what has gone on in theirs. People will always cite concern over STDs so if that comes up and is an issue, just get tested and show the results. If you have concerns of their health status, ask for test results from them as well. Unless you belong to a religious sect that requires virginity for a marriage to be validated, your virginity status is no one else's business and they have no right to know and are not entitled to get into your business. People will be tantalized to know where you've been in the past and they will make all sorts of rationalization a and justifications on why you should tell, but there is no valid reason for having that discussion. Just don't go there. ^^^Truer words were never spoken^^^ I've had the "have you ever...how many..." conversation once, ONCE. Terrible idea for a myriad of reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
max5050 Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 Perhaps. But I can be persuasive when I want to be. Every man I ever asked, eventually answered the Q. Guys who are at the extremes would be really stupid to answer. Three digit counts or 30 or over virgins should really avoid it. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 No need to tell. They'll just assume you are lousy at sex. Link to post Share on other sites
max5050 Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 No need to tell. They'll just assume you are lousy at sex. Why even go out with someone who's lousy at sex? Anybody can be good at sex without a lot of practice. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 Why even go out with someone who's lousy at sex? You won't know until you actually have sex with them. Link to post Share on other sites
max5050 Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 You won't know until you actually have sex with them. You actually don't know until you've had sex a few times with them. Sex can be improved quick. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts