Brooke02 Posted November 28, 2014 Posted November 28, 2014 I don't understand why people are calling me desperate when I'm not the one groping the girl the girl on the 2nd date. I was there for her when she felt down, cheering her up. (Her parents are going through a divorce) And I gave her flowers and a card because I wanted her to smile again, not because I want to get into her pants. You cried so hard because your date didnt show up for a second date!? Thats not desperate or needy?
sillyanswer Posted November 28, 2014 Posted November 28, 2014 Can I just ask one more thing? Did I do the right thing by not attempting to touch her/escalate things? With hindsight, probably not. And also she's flying off this weekend to visit her mum in Europe for 3 months. (We live in Asia) That's also another reason why I don't want to push things too fast. Ahh. Well, that is a good reason to take things slow if you're looking for a relationship (that she can't offer because she's moving away for 3 months). Also, I hadn't realised that you live in Asia. Dating culture, and how quickly is appropriate to touch someone you are dating, may be different there than where I am (UK) and where many posters are (US) so consider that when considering the advice offered!
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 28, 2014 Posted November 28, 2014 This is the reality of the modern world. Maybe it was always the reality and we just never realized it. You never know if someone is truly interested in you or if you're just a placeholder until something better comes around. It's best to learn not to rely on people too much for your own self-worth, and understand that anyone around can and mostly likely will, let you down at some point. Once you accept that, you can learn to not get upset as much when it happens... 1
michellew Posted November 28, 2014 Posted November 28, 2014 She sounds like a prostitute. It won't be long before she starts asking you for money or to buy her things.
Author Metrosexy Posted November 29, 2014 Author Posted November 29, 2014 Oh god I've been unable to sleep for the past two nights because I really want to tell her how I feel but i don't want to ruin our friendship. It hurts so bad and the worst part is she has no idea that she's hurting me.
Author Metrosexy Posted November 29, 2014 Author Posted November 29, 2014 She says she's so impressed by the guys because they didn't attempt to have sex with her. And all the guys before only wanted to get into her pants. And all the other guys are jerks. Which she's saying I'm one of these Crap guys too? Doesn't she know that these guys just hugging her on the bed is just a ploy to lower her inhibitions, get her to trust them then bed her? And these 2 guys are acting like wingmen to each other? She said she got negged alot. She didn't use the word neg but from what she described it sounds totally like these two guys are pickup artists on the prowl for girls on tinder.
fred123 Posted November 30, 2014 Posted November 30, 2014 why is everyone slating the girl? what if she just wants to be friends and is hanging out with op as a friend? i do that with my girl friends amd we show each other pics of other guys and girls we like. i buy my female friends the odd gift from time to time and hang out etc. isnt that what friends do?
stillafool Posted December 2, 2014 Posted December 2, 2014 A f-cking smack in the face. And she allows these 2 guys to sleep with her and cuddle. Wtf I'm really so disappointed yet at the same time I don't wanna give up. :( Why not? You haven't slept with her yet, you know what she's about but you still want to pursue her. Again, men love the bad girls.
stillafool Posted December 2, 2014 Posted December 2, 2014 Those girls that so quickly send you sexy pics, they're also sending them to every other guy in the world. Don't let a few dates and some half-naked pics from a girl get you all messed up. Your mistake was in expecting more from this girl than she is capable of. She is just the type of girl you hook up with, not try and date. Yes, and she likes it that way.
mysteryscape Posted December 2, 2014 Posted December 2, 2014 Metro, you're looking to be somewhat old-fashioned, a gentleman God help us! And you went for this slutty girl and fell for her. Now you're "lost." Take some advice from someone who's been there too much: move on and forget her as fast as you can. You'll soon realize that she's not worth 2 minutes of your time. But don't get obsessed, or drop the obsession you already have, you might get stuck there a long time. And I doubt that you'll find what you're looking for on Tinder. Where to find it is another question. 2
Author Metrosexy Posted December 14, 2014 Author Posted December 14, 2014 Sorry for the late reply. I just got back from filming overseas. I really want to let her know how I feel so that I can move on. It's been stuck inside my chest for such a long time but I'm afraid it will spoil our friendship if I let her know that Im upset.
smackie9 Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 It won't do a heap of good. She is what she is. I have always been told that tender was more of a hookup site rather than dating. Here's a tip for first or second date conversation: "so are you actively dating?" "What are you looking for at this time in your life, casual? or serious?" Have that conversation. Never ever "assume" you are the only one they are dating, never "assume" you are officially together. You need to make your expectations and intentions clear. Secondly holding back on physical touching like hand holding and kissing would lead a lady to believe that you find something wrong with her or there is something wrong with you. Sexual expectations differ from person to person, so you also need to have that conversation too. If you don't, wires get crossed and a good thing gets ruined. Tell the ladies you date that you are an old fashioned guy that likes to take his time.....
insert_name Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 Why not? You haven't slept with her yet, you know what she's about but you still want to pursue her. Again, men love the bad girls. Men love the hot girls - its just that being hot gives a girl license to be bad. OP has only described the girl by how attractive she is, we haven't heard him talk about her winning personality or her sense of humour. Guaranteed, if the girl was average looking (in the OP's opinion) and whoring herself around OP would not be making her cards and buying her flowers and would have ditched her by now. He wants her beauty and will pay dearly for it because conventional beauty has a very high market value, even moreso since the introduction of social media and Tinder which makes it easier than ever before for physically attractive men to hit on hot women. You either accept it and compete or adapt by going for girls who are less likely to have those options. 1
nofeelings22 Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 Last month I met this beautiful girl and we clicked. She'd often showed me pictures of herself, including sexy pics. We'd click so well that she asked me out, and I also asked her out. The 2 dates went very well. The 3rd date went very well too. Cue more sexy pics from her. And her starting conversations with me on messenger. Since last Wednesday (19th November), I noticed she was very suddenly cold. Very emotionally detached. And I wondered what was wrong. All messages to her were replied only hours later, and with only one word. It was never like that before. Yesterday during our 4th date, it was going so well until all of a sudden she told me she'd been meeting guys on Tinder since she installed the app last Tuesday (18th November). And here's the best part, she told me she spent the night with a guy and his best friend, sleeping in between them, but no sex. But there was a lot of touching. My heart broke when I heard that. I was in such great shock. And she kept gushing about the guy, showing me his pictures and his washboard abs. (I'm a good looking guy myself and I often get checked out by the ladies). And she also said she met another guy on sunday and drank till she puked. I'm still in so much shock today. I was at work today and I couldn't concentrate, thinking about this girl that I like so much, being together with some random guy on Tinder doing God knows what. I'm so heartbroken and I feel like a mess now. She showed me her sexy pics, told me she wanted to teach me sexy dance...and throughout my 4 dates with her I didn't attempt to touch her at all. I'm the type who goes slow in the relationship and I will not touch a girl unless she is in a relationship with me. And there she is, going to a guy's house on the 2nd date with him, playing games on the bed with him and his best friend and then spending the night together cuddling. I ****ing hate tinder now. Everything was going so well, I was dating this beautiful girl, we chatted everyday, she texted me her sexy pics...and all of a sudden, she decides to install Tinder and meets so many guys? WTF? I am so confused, so sad, so lost. I don't know what to do now. Honestly? 4 dates? Who cares? Just go on to the next girl. Nothing to get worked up about.
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