Radu Posted November 27, 2014 Posted November 27, 2014 Also i just love to hear the example of the rich man who doesn't tip and of the poor man who is a generous tipper. Especially in the concept of dating. People !!! Has it ever occurred to you when admiring the poor man in question that part of the reason he is poor is because he is too generous of his money ?; the representation of his work ? 1
thefooloftheyear Posted November 27, 2014 Posted November 27, 2014 Not sure what it is with women and tipping...Guys are always better tippers...In fairness, I have been out of that game for decades, but back when I was, Id always cringe when a woman picked up the tab...always just the bare minimum,. no matter what you did or how good it was.. Maybe things have changed, but Id bet its still the case... TFY 1
GemmaUK Posted November 27, 2014 Posted November 27, 2014 Not sure what it is with women and tipping...Guys are always better tippers...In fairness, I have been out of that game for decades, but back when I was, Id always cringe when a woman picked up the tab...always just the bare minimum,. no matter what you did or how good it was.. Maybe things have changed, but Id bet its still the case... TFY I'm female and I agree with you. I tip the minimum which is 10% The reason why I do that is that dating is expensive and I have bills to pay. I would rather afford treating my guy and paying my bills. That is why my tips are minimum.
FitChick Posted November 28, 2014 Posted November 28, 2014 I tip 20% in the US and 15% in the UK. I know 10% is expected but I feel I am representing Americans when I travel. Of course, I could leave less and say I'm Canadian! When Brits visit me and take me out, I leave the tip because I don't want Brits to look cheap. Tipping is a custom and should be factored into an evening out. You have to tip the doorman or the parking valet or the hotel maid. Just be glad you don't live in NYC at Christmas!
Els Posted November 28, 2014 Posted November 28, 2014 He told me recently he wanted to buy me something for our anniversairy ( i was delighted he had thought about it) he said he was willing to spend £100. I choose a piece of jewllery at £90. He turned and said no it was too expensive. He the said £50 he would spend and that it would also be my xmas present too! Honestly, this part sounds way off, and just tacky IMO. If he had wanted to buy you something for your anniversary he should've just set his own budget in his head and done so... not told you all about it, made you choose, then say no despite it being within his budget! 3
d0nnivain Posted November 28, 2014 Posted November 28, 2014 Not sure what it is with women and tipping...Guys are always better tippers...In fairness, I have been out of that game for decades, but back when I was, Id always cringe when a woman picked up the tab...always just the bare minimum,. no matter what you did or how good it was.. Maybe things have changed, but Id bet its still the case... I disagree. That is a stereotype. There are bad tippers in both genders. All of my friends & I worked in the service industry. We always tip well because we know how hard our servers work. 1
FitChick Posted November 28, 2014 Posted November 28, 2014 (edited) Back to the OP's dilemma: Stop paying for things and stop buying things. Or just be as cheap as he is and see how he acts. I wonder if the main reason he's with you is because other women dumped him for being a cheapskate while you've put up with it. Some readers seem to have missed the bit about him making much more money. You could try paying a percentage based on your respective incomes. Bring a calculator out with you: "The bill is _____ , you make 50% more than I do so your share is _____." If he protests just say you want to be fair! Edited November 28, 2014 by FitChick 1
Nyc_user Posted November 28, 2014 Posted November 28, 2014 Back to the OP's dilemma: Stop paying for things and stop buying things. Or just be as cheap as he is and see how he acts. I wonder if the main reason he's with you is because other women dumped him for being a cheapskate while you've put up with it. Some readers seem to have missed the bit about him making much more money. You could try paying a percentage based on your respective incomes. Bring a calculator out with you: "The bill is _____ , you make 50% more than I do so your share is _____." If he protests just say you want to be fair! or what htey can do is to ask the waiter to have a split check each pay what they get 1
preraph Posted November 28, 2014 Posted November 28, 2014 ^ When you're a couple, you shouldn't have to do that, which is why I think it's just a bad sign all around. But with friends, unless it's a special occasion, we always get separate checks. I realize some places that's considered a pain or bad form, but where I live it's pretty normal. I am not going to "split the bill" with anyone who is always angling to not pay their fair share. I have a friend who I will ask if she wants to split an appetizer (and then order main courses), and she always says "no," because she doesn't want to pay for it, and then splits my appetizer anyway. She had done it the week before when we had tried this awesome appetizer that we both loved but I ended up paying for as usual. The next week we went back and we had both been talking about how we liked that appetizer. I already knew she'd try the same thing again from years of knowing her, so instead, I ordered it for myself as the main course and didn't offer her any. I figured if she really wanted it, she could do the same and order one for herself as the main course or offer to pay half and split it, but she didn't, so... Ever since then, she's stopped some of her shenanigans, but I've also just quit asking. Overall, she's fair, but she just has certain little things like that she'll try and it's like if she gets away with it once, she thinks it's okay to just keep it up and you have to do something to stop it. 1
spiderowl Posted November 29, 2014 Posted November 29, 2014 I have a male friend who is like that. He always keeps an eye on the money. If you offer to pay, he will take it. He always has his eye on the cheaper option. He has good reasons from his past - difficult childhood, having to survive on little. I can understand that. However, I just can't handle the mean-spirit and the feeling that the pennies come first in his life. I know he won't change. He won't be like my other friend who has less of an income but would give me the coat off his back. I know whose nature I prefer ultimately. Generosity has little to do with wealth or material goods, it's about a person who gives as opposed to one who takes. 2
love1336x Posted November 29, 2014 Posted November 29, 2014 I dated a cheap man, so cheaply he didn’t want to get me a piece of gum. So, cheaply he didn’t desire to loan me a dollar when I was short on cash, but at the end of our relationship I had him paying for a great deal of my bills, trips, and all our dates. DON’T DO 50/50 and JUST EXPLAIN HIM HOW it MAKES YOU FEEL. It's as clear and as simple as that. If he loves you he will change, like my ex did you have to be strong willed and have got your ground when comes to that as well. This will sound sexist and everyone will derail me for this, but men and adult females hold their role per say in a relationship. One of a role FOR me when I am in a relationship for a man to pay for dates, and really anything else I might need, now he isn’t my personal piggy bank, but he should be able to assist me in that way especially if he earns more money than me.
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