S0GGY Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 I have been in a relationship for 5y and we are engaged. There are both have children from prior relationships mine visits hers stays. She is the kind of person that wont talk and would rather run and keeps it bundled up inside. Anyway she has in the past given me hints that i never say anything nice which im sure i dont complent as much as i should. The point is in the past week she said she is leaving me due to this and i asked for one more chance to change. She said ok but everyone but one person has ever said the one thing that complemented her and that was her last boyfriend and she couldnt tell me what it was because she said if she had to tell me then it wouldn't be from me or she would have had to tell me to do it. So i asked fo a hint of why he did it once im guessing and she gave me this... "Worried she would leave him and that she could do better" What does that mean? What could you. Do or say to complement that woukd make your true love want to think she could do better. Please help...
StalwartMind Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 This sounds extremely dodgy to me. I have a hard time trying to imagine a person, whom needs to hear "one specific and magical" compliment, that will just make everything perfect. If you feel it's your quest to re-say something she's been told by her ex once, then so be it, but it'll still not be from you or your compliment. You should be able to compliment her in your very own way for whatever values she has, that are important to you. If you love her then it really shouldn't be too difficult to find many things you could say to her, that are nice.
d0nnivain Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 She wants more verbalization about how you feel. She also doesn't want the same compliment from you that she got from him. Try these but adapt as appropriate: You look nice today. You have beautiful eyes. Are you losing weight? That was a delicious meal. Thanks. I am so lucky to have you. Your smile always makes me happy & I should tell you that more. You have a great sense of humor. I love the way your butt / legs look in that skirt. 1
Author S0GGY Posted November 26, 2014 Author Posted November 26, 2014 These are things I got away from and and I know it, I got lazy in our relationship and now im paying the mortal price. I got out of doing things and just sitting around and when I come home from work I get mad for stupid stuff that the kids do. I might yell or raise my voice but never ever will I raise my hand I was brought up to respect women. I guess its partly her fault to she always stressed for me to stay out of the kitchen its a woman place and a mans place is outside (Old school)..
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 I've said it before and I'll say it again, complacency in any relationship is the kiss of the death. You want her? Then fight for her EVERY DAY. And the same goes for her. Just because you're in a committed monogamous relationship doesn't mean you should stop "dating" each other. Go back to the way things used to be when you won her heart in the first place. Start there and keep going. Good luck.
beach Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 These are things I got away from and and I know it, I got lazy in our relationship and now im paying the mortal price. I got out of doing things and just sitting around and when I come home from work I get mad for stupid stuff that the kids do. I might yell or raise my voice but never ever will I raise my hand I was brought up to respect women. I guess its partly her fault to she always stressed for me to stay out of the kitchen its a woman place and a mans place is outside (Old school).. Take a look. I am a woman and I wouldn't like it either. You don't give any compliments - why not? That's mean to with hold loving words. You don't do things? Why not? That's just mean. She isn't responsible for being your cook and maid! You get mad and yell but you don't hit them? That's terrible! Yelling is abusive! Can you simply state your point without raising your voice to inflict pain onto others? Try this: kids grit this room cleaned up within a half hour please. You are disrespecting all of them when you yell whether you admit it or not. When you are alone then you both will realize that the kitchen and outside jobs are for whoever is there - gender rules are stupid and can be changed to become a team instead of being divisive. What are you willing to change about the way you participate?
preraph Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 I have been in a relationship for 5y and we are engaged. There are both have children from prior relationships mine visits hers stays. She is the kind of person that wont talk and would rather run and keeps it bundled up inside. Anyway she has in the past given me hints that i never say anything nice which im sure i dont complent as much as i should. The point is in the past week she said she is leaving me due to this and i asked for one more chance to change. She said ok but everyone but one person has ever said the one thing that complemented her and that was her last boyfriend and she couldnt tell me what it was because she said if she had to tell me then it wouldn't be from me or she would have had to tell me to do it. So i asked fo a hint of why he did it once im guessing and she gave me this... "Worried she would leave him and that she could do better" What does that mean? What could you. Do or say to complement that woukd make your true love want to think she could do better. Please help... Stop trying to solve this puzzle. She's playing games and she's hung up on her old boyfriend. She's crazy. You're not psychic. You be your best self, and if that's not good enough for her, then she's not the right one for you. Good luck.
FitChick Posted November 28, 2014 Posted November 28, 2014 Engaged for five years? She won't marry you. Find someone with no kids or no kids in the home. That will solve most of your problems.
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