Heartbroken12416 Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 Hey there everybody. So I haven't been here in a while, but I am REALLY in need of some advice, so here I am... I will try to make this as short as possible. So I have been friends with this guy for going on 5 years. He is a really good guy and friend. He's that friend that I can say almost anything to, and he will stand by my side. Well anyway, since the day we met, he had always told me that he liked me more than a friend, was always attracted to me, wished we could be together, etc... but things couldn't progress between us because we were both with other people. We were in a lifestyle choice together though, so we did sleep together as a fwb type situation. So fast forward to recently....I became single just over a year ago and he became single about 8 months ago. Since we became single, we started hanging out and seeing each other (and still sleeping together) more frequently.....and one day I got a text from him asking if I still cared about him as more than a friend. I said that I did, and he just replied "okay just wanted to make sure" and that was it. I found it to be a bit strange but let it go.... So a couple months ago, we were hanging out one night and laying together and he said that he wished we could be together, and told me that he really did care about me, but that he's not ready for a relationship with anybody right now and said it wouldn't be fair to me so he wanted to be upfront with me. I did and do understand, but as time has gone on, my feelings have grown stronger for him (which he knows as I have told him). He has told me that he does care for me and the potential for us future wise is definitely there, but that he's just not ready right now. Well since that night, things have changed drastically. It's like he's a completely different person. He SAYS he still considers me more than a friend (in past conversations), but it's like he has NO interest in me whatsoever anymore. Like he lost interest or something.... He has even tried setting me up with friends of his. So now I am completely lost on what to do.... If I should wait for him or not.... I still love hanging out with him. And the weird thing is, it's almost like we are seeing each other already. We see each other numerous times a week. Talk on the phone or through text every day. We are still intimate together (however it doesn't happen every time we hang out), spend the night together....everything a couple would do. I'm contemplated taking a break from him to kind of give my feelings a break, but I just really don't want that. I've contemplated stopping the being intimate together, but in all honesty, I just really don't know the best course of action to take with this. I'm lost . If anybody has any advice to give, I would really appreciate it!. Thanks so much in advance for your help.
Frank2thepoint Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 Sounds like your friend is more than comfortable with the arrangement you guys have. You are having sex, hanging out, doing things, but he really doesn't want a relationship. At least with you. You've allowed this to go on for too long, without any form of serious discussion or demand for commitment. Granted you were enjoying the fun, but your feelings for him has grown. You did not say that you have had a serious discussion with him about your feelings and what you want, so he is completely unaware the degree of your feelings. If you want it to change, you need to have a serious discussion with him. Express your feelings and learn about his. If you are afraid that this might push him away, then you don't really want him, and he is isn't right for you either.
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