heartbrokenoff Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 (edited) Hi All, im new to the board and im asian age 32yo. so please pardon my bad grammar or english. i have been with my wife(31yo) for almost 10years. Just this year(Aug) we got married and we got a house(july) too. Thru out the years, there will be some argument bwt us but nothing major and the arguments are mostly about my wife being a spendthrift. She doesnt save up from her pay and always spending to the last penny. While me, im ok, have a ok job doing just enough like the average guy in my country. Over the years we have also went for holidays. Everything was ok until this oct(1st week) when i start to notice her change of behavior. In during wee hrs, she was still using her phone. i wonder why she don't use ipad with a bigger screen? i know she was texting someone but i do not know who. Oct(2nd week) i noted she changed her whatsapp profile photo, 3 different photos in 3 days. Is very unlike her character and i start to check on her social media.... Our emails/social media PW were same but i didnt expect she has already changed all her PW. i tried to view her facebook profile and guess what? i was blocked and not able to view any of her photos..All these time we were still together and finally i confronted her. i knew something is not right(6th sense) and i was correct. She has been looking up for guys on tinder to chat. The guys was trying to date her out but she told me she did not meet them up. She was angry because of pent up frustrations and told me she can never be the women i wanted her to be. i didnt ask her for much, i just wants her to have some savings.She request and asked me for some cool off break and let her mind clear up. i did not agree as i don't think is necessary and i just wanted her to stop all these msging to other guys and we move on. Anyway she went back her home and i couldn't accept she is doing all these things to me and during this period i was in constant despair and sad . Fast forward 1 week later, we meet up again and i secretly checked her phone logs. i realized all these time while i was feeling so upset, she was msging 1 of the guy everyday, sending him her photos. The msgs were like those when we were dating. The guy was outstation, so my wife didnt get to see/meet him real life. All they did was facetime once and constantly msg one another. The guy told my wife to fly over and meet him even thou my wife told him she just broke up with me(my wife didnt tell him she is married) i was furious, upset and feeling stupid. My wife who has be with me for almost 10years did such thing on me and she was like falling in love with a guy who she know for like 1 mth and never even meet him in real life. I knocked some sense to her but from her eyes and reaction she was like not listening to me. i forced her to block him in all social media and whatsapp. and this time she asked for 1 more week to think thru and let her be alone. she promised she wont msg him anymore we will meet up in a week time. After 1 week has passed we meet up and i secretly checked her phone again. This time i checked her email and found out she was msging the same guy again. my wife was afraid i know she saved up his number so she screenshot the whatsapp msg and email to herself. The msg was telling the guy is not her wish to block him and give her sometime to settle the issue and telling him, she really do like him. i also saw another whatsapp conversation to her colleague, asking how to go after a guy in her office. i was shocked..i told her how could she fall in love with someone she doesnt even see irl? and why is she wanted to know this guy in her office? she told me her heart for me is dead and i asked her why.. what did i do wrong to deserve such treatment from her? of all our 10years together i never once ill treat her, bringing her go holidays. i bought her gifts and all outside expenses is paid by me. She replied me saying is like she is just awake from coma and knows what she wants now. i told her is not logical and rational to fall in love with someone you never met irl. i tried to explain that guy was not a good person blah blah blah..but she wasnt keen to listen and just brushed me off 1 side. she has also told her family her heart to me is already dead.. My question now How could a person just changed overnight? My wife is a decent lady and there were guys going after her on/off the 10years but she wasnt keen and will reject them flatly..but how come she can fall in love with someone she doesnt even know? and she wanted to know more guys now? why? 10 years of relationship, i couldn't even say my heart is dead so freely yet she can just say it to everyone and doesnt even care now? i have arranged an appointment with a marriage counselor in 2 weeks time. she agreed to attend. will this helps? Will really appreciate any helpful comments and sorry once again for my bad english. Thank you. Edited November 26, 2014 by heartbrokenoff
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