Trane Posted November 25, 2014 Posted November 25, 2014 Is there a fine line in being clingy vs being distant when seeking a new mate? I believe I have lost potential opportunities because the woman I focussed my attention on probably thought I was too clingy, needy or misconstrued as desperate. It's not my fault that when I like a person, I give them ALL of my attention and focus my interest solely on that person. Never been the type to line up several ladies as so called "back up" plans. I focus my all on her and nobody else.
PegNosePete Posted November 25, 2014 Posted November 25, 2014 There is a line, but it's not very "fine" at all. Sending 3 or more consecutive messages without a reply is clingy. Not replying for a whole day or more, is distant. Anything in between - you're good.
Redhead14 Posted November 25, 2014 Posted November 25, 2014 Clingy is clingy and distant is distant. What you are really asking is how do you know what a particular woman thinks is clingy or distant. You can ferret this kind of question out early in the dating process. At some point during a conversation, you casually bring up the topic of dating in general and what you're turn offs/ons are, i.e. I like it when I can keep in touch with someone daily or I hate it when people text me 10 times in a row. She will say something like yeah, all I need is a phone call once a day or I like texting throughout the day, whatever. Then you'll know how to proceed with that woman
Blakely Posted November 25, 2014 Posted November 25, 2014 Or you could try using both styles and see which one she responds better to? I like a good mixture to keep it from getting stale, predictable ect. Now, there is a difference between Clingy and Crazy---make sure you stay in the 'clingy' lane.
MercuryMorrison1 Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 I don't there is a solid definition for what's considered clingy and distant. It's to subjective...I've heard people claim that they can go for a week at a time with Zero communication with their significant other, and others who might send several hundred text messages a day. It literally just depends on the people. For me personally I like to have daily contact at least, but I don't really get to worried unless a couple of days or more pass without any contact.
d0nnivain Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 Identify the behaviors that you see as clingy then modify them. If you call / text every day, cut down to every other day in the beginning.
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