Author Maleficent Posted November 26, 2014 Author Posted November 26, 2014 No she's not. The quote in the original post is saying that any usage of the word "slut", is making an attack against the OW's right to say yes. But that is not true in this situation. The wife is calling her a slut as an attack against her morality (or lack thereof). Her "right to say yes" is never in question. Whether she "is" a slut or not is irrelevant, it's the intent behind the wife's usage of the word that's being debated here. Which is what the OP is about, after all. Let's just agree to disagree. My OP's intent is around the usage of the word 'slut' to describe a woman who has sex, which I think applies to cheating husbands and OW - whether or not the OW knows the man is married. You personally think it doesn't apply and that's fine. But the OW, even in the situation I described, could very well still be considered a slut by some people. The morality (or lack of thereof) issue is still caused by her having sex. The wife wouldn't call the OW a slut if she was a friend her husband had coffee with. Also I will point out I'm talking about OW here but I guess it could very well apply to women who cheat on their husbands with another man.
Author Maleficent Posted November 26, 2014 Author Posted November 26, 2014 Also Iwill add that the other woman who sleeps with a married man knowingly is not a slut. She is a very ****ty person, yes, but not a slut.
PegNosePete Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 Getting sidetracked here. Whether someone is a slut or not, is irrelevant to the thread. The original post put forward a proposition: 'Slut' is attacking women for their right to say yes In order to disprove that theory, all I have to do is give one example where someone uses the word "slut", without "attacking women for their right to say yes". I believe I've done that. Whether the OW is a slut or not is irrelevant. The wife was not using the word to attack women for their right to say yes - she was using the word because the OW slept with her husband. I doubt she would have used the word if she had slept with a different man. Therefore it's not her right to say yes that the wife is attacking, it's the fact that she said yes to her husband. She is not attacking her rights, but the choices she made. Therefore, theory disproved. I'll now go on to prove that black is white, and get myself killed on the next zebra crossing
Author Maleficent Posted November 26, 2014 Author Posted November 26, 2014 Getting sidetracked here. Whether someone is a slut or not, is irrelevant to the thread. The original post put forward a proposition: In order to disprove that theory, all I have to do is give one example where someone uses the word "slut", without "attacking women for their right to say yes". I believe I've done that. Whether the OW is a slut or not is irrelevant. The wife was not using the word to attack women for their right to say yes - she was using the word because the OW slept with her husband. I doubt she would have used the word if she had slept with a different man. Therefore it's not her right to say yes that the wife is attacking, it's the fact that she said yes to her husband. She is not attacking her rights, but the choices she made. Therefore, theory disproved. I'll now go on to prove that black is white, and get myself killed on the next zebra crossing And her choice was....to have sex. Like I said, let 's agree to disagree.
salparadise Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 In order to disprove that theory, all I have to do is give one example where someone uses the word "slut", without "attacking women for their right to say yes" [...] Therefore, theory disproved. I'll now go on to prove that black is white, and get myself killed on the next zebra crossing Yup ^^^ And then there are the good sluts and bad sluts. If I were a woman I'm pretty sure I'd be a good slut.
autumnnight Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 An OW who knows the man is married may not be a slut....but her morals, values, and character leave a lot to be desired. The one that gets me is friendzone. What kind of shallow people act like friendship is some kind of crappy consolation prize, as if a woman's only reason for being is to give a man "relief???" If a man sees friendship with me as some kind of crumbs he has to settle for because I won't have sex with him, then I can fix that. He won't be my friend either. 1
Author Maleficent Posted November 26, 2014 Author Posted November 26, 2014 An OW who knows the man is married may not be a slut....but her morals, values, and character leave a lot to be desired. The one that gets me is friendzone. What kind of shallow people act like friendship is some kind of crappy consolation prize, as if a woman's only reason for being is to give a man "relief???" If a man sees friendship with me as some kind of crumbs he has to settle for because I won't have sex with him, then I can fix that. He won't be my friend either. I agree with that. But generally, I think the idea of the «Friendzone» is when person A has sexual/romantic interest in Person B but Person B has no sexual/romantic interest in Person A. Person A tries to get out of the «Friendzone» (or in other words, 'convince' Person A to have sex/romantic relation with him/her). I see it as different from a situation where Person A has sexual/romantic interest in Person B but Person B has no interest and both end up (genuinely) friends. In a situation like this, there is no need to call it anything else than being friends. This is why the 'Friendzone' bothers me. Gender neutralism FTW lol
BlueIris Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 (edited) I’ve been thinking about the word “slut” a lot lately, because of comments on LS and because it was discussed on an episode of The Newsroom. Also, a while back I was living with someone and when we were on a vacation with old friends of his, one of them said to me “What are you doing with him? He’s a slut.” It was so bizarre and confusing, but my instant reaction was to be repulsed. Slut = Bad. Nuff said. As I think about it, being labeled a slut has made me more reluctant to let a BF know that I want sex in a relationship. I was recently in a relationship where my BF had ED and I felt guilty, like I was bad or shallow, for being worried that we wouldn’t have sex, because I love sex. I broke up with him for other reasons but it was definitely one factor. I definitely thought it would be bad and wrong to break up solely because my sex life wasn’t going to be what I wanted, and that carried the risk of being "slutty." I know it shouldn't but it lingers there, even in exclusive relationships. We judge people SO MUCH, men and women, for wanting or loving sex. Edited to add: Not everyone judges for that, but enough do that it has an affect. The BF with ED was 58 and had been single for over ten years and he said that he’s had only 4 sex partners his whole life, since he was 16. I think he lied, which meant to me that he was “sluttiness-wary”. But still, I’ve had more than that at age 54. I didn’t tell him how many because of the risk of being viewed as slutty. What a mess. God, I’d love to find a partner who thinks its great that I love sex and want sex often. I hate the word “slut” and everything it implies now! Maybe I’d be more temperate if I were having sex. Haha “Friendzone” doesn’t bother me as much, I guess because I never thought of it as a slam. I don’t want sex with someone instantly anyway and never did, so every BF I ever had came through a friendship phase. Maybe I missed that connotation or undertone. I hadn’t thought of it that way. “Bitch” is just mean. But I use it as a verb, so I’m not helping things myself. Better clean that up. I can't even call my female dog a "bitch," which makes no sense at all. Calling a woman a "bitch" because she speaks up is essentially: "shut up." I wouldn't want to be with a man who called women bitches. To make a neat package of it, ED Guy did that, and that was the last straw. Edited November 26, 2014 by BlueIris added stuff
MrNate 2.0 Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 So I have a friend on Facebook who posted this little ditty and I thought I'd use it to start a discussion on here because it's two words I see here con.stan.tly. 'Slut' is attacking women for their right to say yes 'Friendzone' is attacking women for their right to say no and 'Bitch' is attacking women for their right to call you on it. Thoughts? Opinions? Rants? If we use LS as a basis for our society, this thread already got off to a bad start. Case in point: I see more women calling each other sluts/bitches. What about women who call other women sluts/bitch? Most normal men in society really aren't as vesting into women's sex lives as you think we are. We really could care less. We lift our weights, eat our stakes, play video games and talk about the hot chicks at work. I could care less who you take home. I don't even know you. I hold this same view about women in general. Women spend more time talking about other women than men ever do. 2
BlueIris Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 What about women who call other women sluts/bitch? I think we/they are only making it worse. 1
WomenWubber Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 So I have a friend on Facebook who posted this little ditty and I thought I'd use it to start a discussion on here because it's two words I see here con.stan.tly. 'Slut' is attacking women for their right to say yes 'Friendzone' is attacking women for their right to say no and 'Bitch' is attacking women for their right to call you on it. Thoughts? Opinions? Rants? I think there's some truth in it. I can see how women may feel attacked by the use of 'slut' and 'bitch', since they're used a lot in pejorative contexts. 'Friendzone', while not a 'bad' word per se, it doesn't have a good connotation to it either. I don't know the origins of the word, but many feminists label it as a misogynistic term. In my experience, it is a word that gets thrown around a lot by men and women alike. Men are like "why was I put in the friendzone?!" and women go "... so yeah I put him on the friendzone *shrugs*".
Author Maleficent Posted November 26, 2014 Author Posted November 26, 2014 If we use LS as a basis for our society, this thread already got off to a bad start. Case in point: I see more women calling each other sluts/bitches. What about women who call other women sluts/bitch? Most normal men in society really aren't as vesting into women's sex lives as you think we are. We really could care less. We lift our weights, eat our stakes, play video games and talk about the hot chicks at work. I could care less who you take home. I don't even know you. I hold this same view about women in general. Women spend more time talking about other women than men ever do. RE bolded: sure but if I didn't want the opinion of LS I wouldn't have posted it here. RE case in point: you are assuming my OP was about men using these words towards women while the 'attachers' in my OP are gender neutral... RE bolded; you got that right lol
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