nickmo912 Posted November 25, 2014 Posted November 25, 2014 I always think its my fault. Maybe I Could have done more, maybe I didnt express my feelings enough, maybe I was to clingy. Why do i ALWAYS DO THIS!! I've had girls say I did absolutely nothing wrong it's just they have somuch to do a relationship isn't a must for them at the time yet I still blame myself 1
STM206 Posted November 25, 2014 Posted November 25, 2014 You desire finding true companionship. You want someone to be scared of losing you. It's normal that after being dumped - you start to assume theres a flaw within you. You are who you are, while it may not work for one person, you are perfect for another. We need to stop criticizing ourselves and appreciate the fact that we were willing to at least try, while those who leave simply "quit". 1
lauri Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 The main issue here from what I see is confidence. Girls need a man to be a rock in their life. They want their man to be confident and fun to be around. If you're not confident, youre going to eventually turn them off with your insecurities. Being clingy and needy isn't going to do you any good. But look, good news is you can learn and improve yourself. You can learn to be confident and realize you have self worth. You'll also learn that being alone isn't so bad and that you can be happy on your own. So in part yes, some of the things you do turn off a girl, but also you need to realize that sometimes its just because you two aren't a good match. By no means am I suggesting you change who you are. I'm just saying you need to improve yourself to not do these things that take away from the fun of being with someone. 2
todreaminblue Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 Anyone got any advice because it is easier to put yourself down than put down someone you love and find the flaw in them............deb
jackinthebox1 Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 A perfect square will never fit into a perfect circle.
dumbass2 Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 The main issue here from what I see is confidence. Girls need a man to be a rock in their life. They want their man to be confident and fun to be around. If you're not confident, youre going to eventually turn them off with your insecurities. Being clingy and needy isn't going to do you any good. But look, good news is you can learn and improve yourself. You can learn to be confident and realize you have self worth. You'll also learn that being alone isn't so bad and that you can be happy on your own. So in part yes, some of the things you do turn off a girl, but also you need to realize that sometimes its just because you two aren't a good match. By no means am I suggesting you change who you are. I'm just saying you need to improve yourself to not do these things that take away from the fun of being with someone. Couldn't agree more with this. It is not about changing your core self. that is what makes everyone who they are, but you can IMPROVE yourself and that is what you need to tell yourself. Self awareness is a great attribute. Not a lot of people can honestly look hard at themselves and believe that they should or can improve if they really want to. 2
movingonnow1 Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 I agree with Lauri and Dumbass2. I hope that advice helps you. I think you can improve yourself and continue to learn...not all is lost .
EmbeddedCortex Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 I always think its my fault. Maybe I Could have done more, maybe I didnt express my feelings enough, maybe I was to clingy. Why do i ALWAYS DO THIS!! I've had girls say I did absolutely nothing wrong it's just they have somuch to do a relationship isn't a must for them at the time yet I still blame myself I think this is a common feeling for anyone who has been dumped. "What's wrong with me that they left me?" Now some exes really like to rub it in, and if you read my threads, you'll see that my ex has always rubbed it in my face that it's always been mostly my fault for the breakup. In fact, my past 2 breakups with her have been emotionally brutal. So in my case, because I love her dearly and want her in my life, I start thinking that maybe it is my fault. Then I start apologizing and bargaining, which makes matters worse, and she places even more of the blame on me, and then says we're done, leaving me emotionally and mentally demolished like I have been the last 2 weeks. I have one of the worse cases, because in reality, throughout my relationship I have often been emotionally abused by my ex who I love unconditionally and who would claim she loved me too. But she would always put me down over dumb things, some of which were out of my control, or others that were caused by her to begin with. 1
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