angiefly Posted November 24, 2014 Posted November 24, 2014 I am a 33 year old woman and just got out of a 1.5 year relationship. I was single for 4 years to focus solely on myself and my children. I met a man who I thought I had a great connection with but after a year and a half our relationship seemed ruined. He would tell me what I was doing wrong (in his opinion) and it seemed nothing I did was ever good enough for him. He had to have 2 hip replacements (one in the beginning of the relationship, and one earlier this month) so he was in a lot of pain our entire relationship. I kept giving chances because of the pain. Hes called me a retard, he laughs while I'm crying and honestly he doesn't give a crap about my feelings. I don't know why I kept making excuses for/ and going back to him. He really had a way of making me feel like our fights were all my fault. Now I'm sitting here happy that it's over but hurt at the same time. I'm glad I got out now, cause now he's addicted to pain meds but I'm also sad that I'm without him. The relationship wasn't all bad but too much of it was not healthy. What do I do to move on? How do I quit feeling sorry for him and going back? Thanks in advance for any replies.
lindsay91313 Posted November 25, 2014 Posted November 25, 2014 Hi! First of all I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you're dealing with this. I'm currently separated and going through a similar situation with the whole feeling good about the split but also very sad. I think it's very normal to feel this way. You're losing someone you once had a connection with, almost like mourning the death of the relationship I suppose. At least that's what I'm dealing with. Him and I were good friends for several years before taking the plunge into dating and then a baby and got married extremely quickly and it all just fell apart. Now that it's over, I'm dealing with a whirlwind of emotions. Anyway.. It's time you focus on yourself! It sounds dumb but date yourself for a while! Buy yourself something nice, get your hair done, see a movie, discover a new hobby, anything to take your mind off things that will make you feel better about yourself. You mentioned him having hip replacements, so I imagine you were his caretaker a lot, as well as his emotional punching bag which is not ok. It sounds corny, but just take it one day at a time. I had to keep telling myself that at first and it was hell but I'm getting there, and I have to live with the guy:sick: Everything is going to work out fine for you. You're probably letting yourself only think of the good things about the relationship because you miss him, but just keep in mind why you two aren't together. Feeling indifferent about him isn't too far off. I really do wish you all the best and feel better!! 1
darkmoon Posted November 25, 2014 Posted November 25, 2014 i suspect he is unpleasant to everybody, mine was, leave it 2
Author angiefly Posted November 25, 2014 Author Posted November 25, 2014 Hi! First of all I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you're dealing with this. I'm currently separated and going through a similar situation with the whole feeling good about the split but also very sad. I think it's very normal to feel this way. You're losing someone you once had a connection with, almost like mourning the death of the relationship I suppose. At least that's what I'm dealing with. Him and I were good friends for several years before taking the plunge into dating and then a baby and got married extremely quickly and it all just fell apart. Now that it's over, I'm dealing with a whirlwind of emotions. Anyway.. It's time you focus on yourself! It sounds dumb but date yourself for a while! Buy yourself something nice, get your hair done, see a movie, discover a new hobby, anything to take your mind off things that will make you feel better about yourself. You mentioned him having hip replacements, so I imagine you were his caretaker a lot, as well as his emotional punching bag which is not ok. It sounds corny, but just take it one day at a time. I had to keep telling myself that at first and it was hell but I'm getting there, and I have to live with the guy:sick: Everything is going to work out fine for you. You're probably letting yourself only think of the good things about the relationship because you miss him, but just keep in mind why you two aren't together. Feeling indifferent about him isn't too far off. I really do wish you all the best and feel better!! Nothing you wrote sounds dumb, quite helpful actually! Thank you so much for your reply! Time I date myself
Author angiefly Posted November 25, 2014 Author Posted November 25, 2014 i suspect he is unpleasant to everybody, mine was, leave it Yes, very. I left, just trying to figure out how to get over the whole thing. I think the fact that he always put me down, is what is hardest to get over. Sometimes I believe the awful things he said. Time to heal.
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