Author hawx79 Posted November 26, 2014 Author Posted November 26, 2014 In other words, you don't think she's bright enough to figure out that your feelings have remained constant, right? You're still on the wrong track. This is not about you and how you feel. A woman feels special through various things: attention, friendship, support, adoration. You can convey all that without saying a word about your feelings. You've already told her how you feel. Continuing to tell her will put her on the spot and make her feel uncomfortable. Keeping your mouth shut about it at this point is the thing that will get her attention. She will think, "Wow, this guy is really nuts about me but he has no interest in forcing that on me." Be kind, talk to her about things in her life, her feelings, without judgement. If there's a chance at all for you to win her over, this is the only way it will happen. If you want her to know the things you can and will do for her, then say that to her so that it's more of a general statement, instead of something directed at her. Like, "Whenever I get married, I'm going to treat my wife like a queen." Or whatever it is you will do. You can say those things in a sideways manner without putting her on the spot. She will start to get the picture about the kind of person you are. In other words, do not do or say things that will get her guard up. As I said before, act like you've got all the time in the world. Thanks for your advice, I will keep those in mind. Now I only hope if she will still give me a new chance. Op did you see my comments about offering her and her child everything? During your talk I suggest not saying that again. Ok I wont say it then, but if I do ill say it indirectly as bathtub-row mentioned. OP, here's my take. Some here are saying you might have freaked her out, turned her off, scared her away by showing her too much affection, interest, looking desperate, what you might think is love for her, yada, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah, YAWN. I call BS on a lot of this. Here's why. You can never really tell how deeply you will fall for someone, even if you only know them for only so brief a period. Sometimes you just can't control it because everything could seem to fit so perfectly, even discovering a difference or two in this brief period about that person that makes them unique and interesting to you. You get turned on to that and you want more of it. You focus everything on her and nobody else. When she doesn't want more and bolts without an answer, that's when it hurts and you're left out in the cold. Others will say you should have had a backup plan or two or throw the "BE A MAN, MAN-UP, STOP BEING A WUSS" stuff at you which is more hurtful and shameful because they don't know how your heart ticks or how you feel. It's just plain asinine because no two men are the same person and feel the same things. I think todays dating world is so jaded, twisted and messed up because society has relied way to heavily on social media to communicate. Before the internet age and that certain movement Gloria Steinem championed, women didn't seem concerned that a man showed X amount of interest or admiration for her in the first meetings. She might question if he is real but not to the point where running to the hills is the answer. We didn't need a freakin' screen, email address, facebook page, or profile on some dating site just to say hello and would you like to go out with me? The craziness in all of this is that nowadays it's strange to meet a person without exchanging texts, emails and all other nonsense. What happened to eye to eye, mouth to mouth, face to face, real time communication? People would give each other a chance to see if the others feelings are genuine. It's called taking a risk, and going on a new journey with that person. Not running away like a scared little child in the night the moment one shows deeper feelings, even if it's the guys feelings stronger at first. I can understand if she's truly not interested, and I always say being upfront and honest is the best policy. If she's upfront and honest with LIES, that's on her conscience and best you leave it at that and move on. Also realize that you aren't alone in many ways and there is always tomorrow if you allow yourself to grieve and heal. It's OK. Don't stay down and wallow in sorrow, but you don't let other fools tell you to be a man because they are not the man you are. Its nice to hear from someone with a little more compassion and understanding. But I've just handled it wrong I, otherwise I would not be in the situation im in.
Recommended Posts