Ex is in my class.

[drmh]

So i was with my ex for half a year, and it was a very toxic relationship, the ending was inevitable. She is probably the most beautiful girl i've seen, but her personality is horrible and she is no way near the type of person i like, but i fell for her anyways and basicly our relationship ended about 5 months ago. My problem is that i have to see her, atleast 8 hours a day everday, and it has been like that since we broke up. Now i've gotten better at dealing with it, i just simply act as if she doesn't exist. She is very childish as a person and she tends to do stunts to get my attention and she often very obviously talks crap about me behind my back, but i'm over that as i see my self as the more mature person, and i actually do not even hate her any more, i'm glad she does well and so on. My problem is tho, is the fact that i am still emotionally attached to her, i notice what she does in class, i notice what she says and who she talks to, frankly i could probably re-tell her conversations, i tend to put on headphones if it gets too much, but it's out of my control, even if i try not to. Now her being in my class, means i see her at parties often, and it kills me inside when she is dancing with others, drinking and just generally acting really messy, at the last party it felt like dying inside, another thing i do is talk about her, i talk about her all the time to my friends, and if someone mentions her it gives me chills down the spine, or my heart starts racing, lately i heard she started dating someone and it basicly ruined my night.

 

I'm out of ideas on how to handle it, she has to be in my class for about 1½ year more, and i really do not wish for this emotional hell to continue, she still has the power to kill me from the inside, and i really don't want that. We broke up in a really bad way, basicly i just ignored her and we haven't spoken a word since, we often end up in groups in the class and it gets really awkward, i stripped her from every social media i could, yet i still get reminded of her by simple things such as my friends saying her name, although not talking about her, and i think of her pretty much every day.

 

Being on NC is my plan, but it has only done so much for me, i just feel a huge empty hole in my heart, as in i didn't get the closure i wanted, i didn't get to say the things to her when we broke up as i wanted to, i didn't tell her how awful she treated me and it's messing with me now, i have a lot of things i am going to attend in the future, parties, even a trip with the entire class for a week, and if i want just a glimpse of joy in those things i need to do something about what is going on with me right now.

Edited November 24, 2014 by drmh

[d0nnivain]

Sit on the other side of the room, hopefully in front of her so she's out of your line of sight.

[drmh]

Been doing that since day one, unfortunately she requires a lot of attention, therefor she really does anything to be in the spotlight, being noisy, doing messed up things and talking loud.