Blkpunk311 Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 i don't know what to do, can somebody please help me... my boyfriend and i have been together in a long distance relationship now for a little over 4 months now...we met online and soon after met in person. we've met in person 4 times now, but its been about a month and a half since we've last seen eachother now. well everything was fine and dandy until a couple of weeks ago. We used to talk every day and he used to text me all day long, but now i barely get to talk to him...maybe i'll hear from him once a day, and if i'm lucky, it'll be about a 15 minute conversation...he says that he's been busy with work and school...and this week in particular his dad is really sick, and he's working overtime, and school, and he said that he's trying to find a new place to live...and ok to tell the truth, i'm fine with that...i know he's busy and that he's contacting me when he can...because i almost always hear from him in some form about once a day, but sometimes, its two days...its fine with me...but then i start having these feelings like "maybe he's trying to pull away...maybe he really doesn't want to be with me"...or worse "maybe he's seeing someone behind my back and he's playing me"...ok, to be honest, he hasn't given me any sign or any reason for me not to trust him... he's always called when i needed him though...no matter what he's doing...if i say i'm sad and i really would like to just hear his voice...he'll call me not even a few seconds later...and last tuesday, i was just feeling really upset...so i sent him a text saying that i really needed to talk to him, please call me when you can...and he called me, and i told him that i just wanted to know what he felt...i told him that i felt really guilty about being in a relationship with him...i told him that i was scared that he was going to get sick of the long distance thing...and i told him that i feel like i may be holding him back from being happy and finding someone that lives closer to him....he assured me that i wasn't holding him back from anything, but he said that he couldn't lie, that this long distance relationship was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do...but he said that he loves me, and if its meant to be that he knows that it will work out....and he said to remember 2 things...1 that i love you...and 2 no matter what happens between us, i will always be there for you... he sounded really sincere about it, and it made me feel a whole lot better....then, of course, i get the thinking "what if he's lying?...he could just be playing me, really well...i can't let myself get hurt again"...i'm jsut so scared that he's not telling the truth about anything...and when he doesn't call me, i get suspiciuos...or when he doesn't text me back when i text him, i get worried...and i know i just seem crazy or unreasonable, but its all happened before...adn i just don't want it to happen again does anybody think that i have a reason to worry? does it sound like something fishy could be going on? or if i'm being overly paranoid, how can i overcome feelings of the past coming back? please help me... Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 I was in a long distance relationship with my then boyfriend, now husband for about eight months. We met online and after two years of being casual friends on a game, we decided to meet in person. I would drive to see him on weekends, but during the week we barely talked. I would remember sitting around thinking about him all day, but I'd be lucky if I got a ten minute call at night every day. He was so busy and didn't have the time to just sit around thinking and missing me. It really bothered me. I can understand how you feel. What I had to come to terms with is that not everyone is the same in a relationship, especially a long-distance relationship. Life has a way of keeping some people busy while others can have loads of spare time to sit around thinking of someone else. I wouldn't worry too much that he doesn't talk to you as much as you'd like or doesn't email. If you know he's busy then he's busy and it doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong. If nothing else makes you feel like there could be an issue with infidelity then I wouldn't make that assumption just because he doesn't contact you as much as you'd like. While this is a long distance relationship - are there any plans to eventually move to the same area? I lasted eight months in mine and put an ultimatum on my husband. Either he moved where I was or I moved to him. I suck in a long distance relationship. My eyes were grateful for the relief when he finally moved. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blkpunk311 Posted March 18, 2005 Author Share Posted March 18, 2005 hi...and thanks for your reply...i really think that you're right...and i'm trying to be ok with it...i think its more of a frustration that ih aven't seen him in over a month, and then hardly getting to talk to him...we used to see eachother about every 2 weeks...hes only 3 hours away, so its been more of a make sure we don't have anything to do, or for me see if i can get out of work... yeah we have plans of moving in together, but, it won't be for at least a year...i have probably 3 semesters left in school...he's in an apprenticeship, but next year he'll be finished with school and get his electrician license...but we really would like to move in with eachother when we are finished...thanks for your advice though...i feel a lot better about it now...thanks angie __________ "we are not countries. we are not nations. we are not religions. we are not gods. we are not weapons. we are not ammunition. we are not killers. we will NOT be your tools. mother f*cers! i will not die! i will not kill! i will not be your slave! i will not fight your battle! i will not die on your battlefield! i will not fight for your wealth! i am not a fighter, I AM A HUMAN BEING!!!" "anatomy of your enemy" ~anti-flag Link to post Share on other sites
SadBabyGirl Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Awww I feel for ya hun. Im like in the same boat almost lol, my bf lives 500 miles away we been together about 3 months. I still have 3 semesters left of junior college too before i can transfer down to UCLA 2 be with him. It does get frusterating when ur together every day then suddenly its like u dont hear from them and u start to like get nagging feelings or imaginatory vibes that are negative. I alllways got that feeling specially during certain times of the month. Its tough when ur both busy and u find yourself like wondering...hes going thru his apprenticeship/job/college etc. and u are yours, and u wonder will we, beyond a shadow of a doubt, be together living and enjoying in the end, will everything be okay. Thats one thing that annoys me in this life is we never know whats gonna happen ultimately but we have to like WORK for it, i always thought relationships came easy for free, but in the case of long distance i always had to work as he does, else it isnt happenin and we wont win in the end.I pray all the best happens for all of us dude. Btw... Are you 311 fan? Me and my bf are hardcore 311 fans. Just wondering. Much Luv from a fellow loveshacker Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blkpunk311 Posted March 18, 2005 Author Share Posted March 18, 2005 thanks...good luck to you and ur relationship too....lol...and yes, i am a 311 fan...have been since i was 11..hehe.. right now the not being able to get in touch with him thing is killing me...yesterday morning i talked to him and he told me that his dad was really sick...and he just sounded so stressed out...so i told him that i would come up this weekend to be with him...and he was like that would be so nice...that would make me feel much better...but this was right before he went to work and he told me to call him later....well i called him and he wasn't home...and then i called him again a few hours later and he still wasn't home...so i just sent him a text saying that i really needed to know if he was serious about wanting me to come down there this weekend, but i haven't heard anything from him yet...i'm really hoping that i can go down there...but i can't get in touch with him...and i know he's really stressed out, so i've been trying not to send a million texts or call him....but i really need to know...should i keep trying to get a hold of him...or just leave it alone? i don't want to stress him out more or get on his nerves because he's probably busy with his dad and stuff...especially if he hasn't answered my text about this weekend...i would just go up there and surprise him, but i don't know if that would be that good of an idea....what would you do? Link to post Share on other sites
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