Cindy27 Posted March 17, 2005 Posted March 17, 2005 Any advice would be appreciated..I have been with my BF 8 years...I am 34 and he is 36...I finally left him because I wasn't getting the love and affection that I should get as being his girlfriend, we were more like BEST friends but the passion and romance was gone, we hardly even kissed anymore, we would only have sex about once a week, but sometimes it would be a few weeks before we had sex...At one time in our relationship a few years back, I had gotten very upset with him because we were away on vacation and I wanted to cuddle and be intimate with him and he basically turned me away, we ended up having a discussion about our future and he told me that he wasn't sure if he ever wanted to get married and that he was not that attracted to me anymore..I guess I could say I was in denial because I didn't leave right than and there, I thought I could change his feelings... Well fast forward a few years later to current, well we were still dating but no talk of the future, everytime I brougth it up he kind of blew it off, he's not very communicative either!! Well we just decided to move to another state together and somethign was telling me not to go with him so I left....I thought that he doesn't have those feelings for me and that if we were together so many years and no progression why waste more of my time when there could be someone else out there that wants the same things as me... Well I'm in a dilema now....I met someone who is wonderful I was finally moving on with my life....Until the ex contacted me and is making it very diffucult for me to let go, he says he does see a future with me and does want to marry me... What do I do...Do I just move on and tell him its too late!! or give him a second chance??
Pocky Posted March 18, 2005 Posted March 18, 2005 I had a very similar relationship to yours. We dated five years and we were best-friends, but there was no passion and very little sexual activity. I realized that while were had the friendship part of the relationship we didn't have the passion and even if we got married something would always be missing. I ended it. I knew he wasn't the one. You just know, sometimes. I'm sure you know, too.
FolderWife Posted March 18, 2005 Posted March 18, 2005 The best way that I can put it is, if you broke up in the first place, there was a reason...and that reason will still be there if you get back together. That's why I never got back together with any of my exes. He may be telling you what you want to hear now...he may even mean it. But people rarely change. People are always who they are. You were together that long, and he turned you down for cuddling! What makes you think he'll cuddle with you if you're with him in ten years!? He WON'T. You need to keep doing what you're doing, and move on.
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