Hund1976 Posted March 17, 2005 Posted March 17, 2005 A while back I read some of my girlfriends emails. (there was some other stuff going on, so I'm trying to keep this off the topic of Invasion of Privacy vs Right to Know) Anyway there was this guy that she had met a few months before she met me. He is currently stationed in England. So they have been writing and talking on the phone ever since. Many of their messages were flirtatious. And they spoke about how great it would be to see eachother again. In the summer she mentioned me to this guy but in the fall she made it seem like we were not together and she had no boyfriend. Around this time I was thinking about going to Germany, she wanted to come along but make a separate trip to England to visit her "friends" there. So later after all this came out I confronted her on this guy thinking she was single and her trying to plan a trip to hang out with him. And she said that they were doing nothing wrong and the reason she didn't mention having a boyfriend was she wanted to be able to talk to someone without having to talk about relationships. And if they hung out it would just be as friends. Just wondering if this sounds like BS to other people.
Ms_Sweetness Posted March 18, 2005 Posted March 18, 2005 Yes, It definately sounds like a load of crap
Mr Spock Posted March 18, 2005 Posted March 18, 2005 She's going to hump him so hard they'll need helmets if she meets up with him.
JoL Posted March 18, 2005 Posted March 18, 2005 Definately BS. The only reason a person doesnt mention that they have a boyfriend after talking to someone for a while is because they want to keep their options open- and let the other person believe there is something more than friendship possible. Which is maybe what she wants with him.
WithOrWithoutYou Posted March 18, 2005 Posted March 18, 2005 Another vote for "BS" here. Sorry man, you are already being replaced emotionally, and it sounds like, in more ways than that once she gets to England. The fact that she told the other guy in England she had no BF (as in, she was not with you), and the fact that the trip to England has to be seperate from you, definately suggests that she at MINIMUM wanted to keep her options open for a hook-up with the other guy - I wouldn't have put it quite the way Mr Spock did, but, um, ya...
pseud Posted March 18, 2005 Posted March 18, 2005 I will concur; this sounds like bull to me. The important thing, however, is whether or not it seems like bull to you.
Author Hund1976 Posted March 18, 2005 Author Posted March 18, 2005 Thanks, it definately sounds like a load of Shiznet to me too. All my friends that I've told this story to agreed. Just wanted some third party point of view. Since the people on this site are more likely to tell you how it is. Anyways I gots to find me a new girl.
InLimbo2 Posted March 18, 2005 Posted March 18, 2005 Personally, I think you BELIEVE it's BS, and most likely is (if it looks like a duck...etc.)... But you will never know for SURE. So, if were me - I'd make sure SHE pays her own airfare etc - and I'd make a surprise visit to England while she's there - like in the middle of the night - and find out just what she's up to. If she's bein good you can play it off as missing her so much you had to come. If she's bein bad, you know for sure. Oh, and if during catching her bein bad you just happen to snap up her passport and she is stuck there awhile straightening it - so much the better. Gives you a head start on getting over her. If you live together - while she's trying to get back INTO the USA, pack up all her stuff and either put in storage or drop at her parents - and tell them you dunno what happened - their cheating daughter stayed in England to pursue another man. Ok, I'm mean and evil and in one of those 'revenge' moods. OR You can go with your gut and blow her off now and have fun in Germany.
tokyo Posted March 18, 2005 Posted March 18, 2005 Originally posted by InLimbo2 Personally, I think you BELIEVE it's BS, and most likely is (if it looks like a duck...etc.)... But you will never know for SURE. So, if were me - I'd make sure SHE pays her own airfare etc - and I'd make a surprise visit to England while she's there - like in the middle of the night - and find out just what she's up to. If she's bein good you can play it off as missing her so much you had to come. If she's bein bad, you know for sure. Oh, and if during catching her bein bad you just happen to snap up her passport and she is stuck there awhile straightening it - so much the better. Gives you a head start on getting over her. If you live together - while she's trying to get back INTO the USA, pack up all her stuff and either put in storage or drop at her parents - and tell them you dunno what happened - their cheating daughter stayed in England to pursue another man. Ok, I'm mean and evil and in one of those 'revenge' moods. OR You can go with your gut and blow her off now and have fun in Germany. If she really is clean, she'll hit him on the head for mistrusting her and their relationship will go down the gutter anyway. But to me it really does sound as if she is out for for a new love, so I would just let her go and have fun in Germany. Less work.
Author Hund1976 Posted March 18, 2005 Author Posted March 18, 2005 I said that I wasn't going to pay for her, and she doesn't want to spend her own money so it looks like she won't be going there anytime soon.their cheating daughter stayed in England to pursue another man. Ok, I'm mean and evil and in one of those 'revenge' moods. This is a pretty funny idea. I don't know if I would go through all the trouble of going to England to pull it off though.
WithOrWithoutYou Posted March 19, 2005 Posted March 19, 2005 The fact you can say that is funny tells me you are probably not deeply in love with her. My advice? Keep it that way. Find someone else, before you DO fall for her. If I were you I would be more insulted than pissed. She told "other guy" you were not still together (even when she mentioned you to him in the distant past), so she could, um, "be able to talk with him about something besides relationships"? She really thought you were stupid enough to buy that? Bwahahahahahhahha. Sorry, I just couldn't help cracking up the more I thought about it. You are definately doing the right thing finding yourself a new girl, and that goes triple if you don't seriously love her. If you did, I might be telling you to get her to tell the truth, and agree to do no contact with the other guy - but if you don't truly love her, hell with it! Good luck with finding someone new.
InLimbo2 Posted March 19, 2005 Posted March 19, 2005 Originally posted by Hund1976 I said that I wasn't going to pay for her, and she doesn't want to spend her own money so it looks like she won't be going there anytime soon. This is a pretty funny idea. I don't know if I would go through all the trouble of going to England to pull it off though. I wouldn't either, but *thinking* all these things is what keeps me from really taking revenge on some people that truly deserve it
Author Hund1976 Posted March 19, 2005 Author Posted March 19, 2005 We were just talking about this a little while ago and she said "I never told him I didn't have a boyfriend" to which I replied, "well you're earlier emails spoke of having a boyfriend and then you went to not having one so you must have told him you broke up somewhere in there" Her repsonse to that was "well I never went to see him so it doesn't matter now" and then she changed the subject. I do love her but we have HUGE differences and she's moving in a few months and with all this stuff going on I don't think its in my best interest to move with her. Maybe she can find another guy who's dumb enough to fly her to England for her transatlantic booty-call.
WithOrWithoutYou Posted March 20, 2005 Posted March 20, 2005 Originally posted by Hund1976 We were just talking about this a little while ago and she said "I never told him I didn't have a boyfriend" to which I replied, "well you're earlier emails spoke of having a boyfriend and then you went to not having one so you must have told him you broke up somewhere in there" Her repsonse to that was "well I never went to see him so it doesn't matter now" and then she changed the subject. I do love her but we have HUGE differences and she's moving in a few months and with all this stuff going on I don't think its in my best interest to move with her. Maybe she can find another guy who's dumb enough to fly her to England for her transatlantic booty-call. Gotta love her reasoning though, you must admit. "I'm going to keep on lying about conspiring with another guy and plotting to cheat on you even though you obviously know better and can prove it, but because you busted me with hard evidence and didn't buy my pathetic lies to cover it, and because you decided not to pay for my transatlantic booty call with the other guy, it doesn't matter now. Oh, and I want to talk about something else so he doesn't figure out the above" (even though you figured it out as she was talking). She really doesn't give you much credit, does she? Yep, she definately needs to find someone else who has an IQ (below 60) who she can be happy with. You deserve better - and I'm STILL not hearing remorse or even a simple "I'm sorry" from her to you. Ouch! Move on to someone else who will respect you. She obviously does not. In fact, I wouldn't even stay with her until she moves if I were you, unless you decide that you just don't have time to look for another relationship right now, and having someone around to share expenses with and sleep with is mutually beneficial. Just always remember she does not respect you and will cheat on you at will, given the right opportunity to do so. Sometimes the truth hurts, but you will find someone better.
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