Evening Posted November 22, 2014 Posted November 22, 2014 I do not know where to post this, but I definitely need to talk about it. Last week i had a one night stand with a guy I could easily fall it love with. We were both drunk, but there were amazing sexual energy between us and I am definitely that kind of woman who enjoys sex. (Do not take it the wrong way) Anyway, its just felt so right, he was younger than me, much younger, but most people think I look younger than I actually am, so it does not matter. I do not know what his name is, I know only area where he lives and its far from me. He do not know my name either. Have you ever thought about that you could see yourself but in a opposite gender? He was like me. If I would be man, I would be definitely like him. Its just soo crazy. That you meet a person who you have amazing sex with then they leave or you have to leave and you do not even remember to ask their name or anything or number and next morning or day after you think about wanting it back. He could be my perfect f-buddy. I am just so sad that I have no contact. And I am wondering that if he is thinking about me too. But I have been always the one who is telling my girlfriends that they should not take one night stands so seriously but if it happens to be a person who you really feel connected to even for a one night, maybe it is worth for a second try? I am not talking about romance, but just a physical pleasure. Maybe I am nuts. But he made me happy. I even said that I love having sex with him, because this was the truth. Please do not be very judgmental. I am still quite young.
Poppygoodwill Posted November 22, 2014 Posted November 22, 2014 Very important in all relationships not to confuse sexual compatibility with emotional and intellectual compatibility. You say you're young, so I'll try to save you some of the time I wasted on this....it's relatively easy to have great sexual chemistry with many people. You will find yourself sexually attracted to many people, and would probably have good sex with many of them. In fact I have had great sex with people that outside of the bedroom, I didn't really like all that much. Didn't like the way they thought or their politics or the way they behaved. So - it seems to me in your post you're sliding over the line and thinking that sexual compatibility might mean you also have emotional/intellectual compatibility with this guy whose name you don't know. The chances are very slim. Especially since your relationship so far is based on nameless sex. Chances are he'll want to keep it nameless, and that's why he went with it in the first place. I say don't make yourself vulnerable by trying to find this guy. Let it go. 3
Coe Posted November 22, 2014 Posted November 22, 2014 Prepare to be judged. Some people on here dont think that woman can enjoy strings free sex without getting all broody and wanting to get married(as if this is natural at all). Glad you had fun, sometimes one night stands are pretty awesome because its a new person and is all sexual energy. 1
Author Evening Posted November 22, 2014 Author Posted November 22, 2014 True! Maybe it was a one night magic, but I definitely felt very drawn to him.
Coe Posted November 22, 2014 Posted November 22, 2014 True! Maybe it was a one night magic, but I definitely felt very drawn to him. Hormones, lots of people get attached after sex. It usually fades pretty fast. Trust me I know these things
Jules Dash Posted November 22, 2014 Posted November 22, 2014 Prepare to be judged. Some people on here dont think that woman can enjoy strings free sex without getting all broody and wanting to get married(as if this is natural at all). Glad you had fun, sometimes one night stands are pretty awesome because its a new person and is all sexual energy. Yeah, don't let those people get you down. Enjoy your youth and the plentiful great sex that comes with it. 1
Author Evening Posted November 22, 2014 Author Posted November 22, 2014 Exactly! Thats what I want to do. To enjoy sex! Cheers. At the same time I do not want to get negatively attached when its only a one night thing.
Dallers Posted November 22, 2014 Posted November 22, 2014 I am enjoying a no strings attached FB situation with a girl who is my complete opposite. The sex is out of this world and although there is no "love" feelings there she is like looking in a mirror in terms of what I look for in a woman. It will never work out as we both have different paths and interests hence why it became a FB situation and not a relationship but there is nothing wrong with having sex man or woman and the fact that people are so stuck up about it just shows that they have no experienced how much fun it can be. This sex turns me into an animal it is that good and heaven forbid it is a secret agreement that will never be anymore than just sex. I should be ashamed of myself. "Laugh" Sounds like you met your match OP try and find him if you can and make your intentions known he might feel the same.
Tayken Posted November 22, 2014 Posted November 22, 2014 he was younger than me, much younger, but most people think I look younger than I actually am, so it does not matter. You looking "younger" might not be an excuse if it turns out he is under age and the cops come banging (no pun intended) on your door. Hopefully the guy wore protection. Maybe it was a one night magic, but I definitely felt very drawn to him.But not his name. Ironically...in another thread on here is this http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/502671-i-think-i-sexually-assaulted-last-night 1
ScreaminEagle Posted November 22, 2014 Posted November 22, 2014 Didn't know his name ? Maybe when his wife contacts you that will be cleared up. 1
LisaSmith_1970 Posted November 22, 2014 Posted November 22, 2014 Congrats! There is nothing wrong with one night stands! Everyone should have great sex. I was in a FWB relationship for more than a year, he was the best sex partner I've ever had, I got too attached, when he just wanted no strings. It was tough to let my sex buddy go. Oh well, I went out to a club last night and saw a swarm of single guys that I could distract myself with.
jeffmeyers Posted November 22, 2014 Posted November 22, 2014 Call me old fashioned but I like to know at least the first name of a person I'm going to sleep with. 2
skyblue707 Posted November 22, 2014 Posted November 22, 2014 Congrats! There is nothing wrong with one night stands! Everyone should have great sex. I was in a FWB relationship for more than a year, he was the best sex partner I've ever had, I got too attached, when he just wanted no strings. It was tough to let my sex buddy go. Oh well, I went out to a club last night and saw a swarm of single guys that I could distract myself with. You sound like a slut! I bet you have some std's that you don't want to tell us, lisa smith! 1
Coe Posted November 22, 2014 Posted November 22, 2014 You sound like a slut! I bet you have some std's that you don't want to tell us, lisa smith! Jealousy is an ugly thing.
Author Evening Posted November 22, 2014 Author Posted November 22, 2014 You sound like a slut! I bet you have some std's that you don't want to tell us, lisa smith! You are so judgemental, Skyblue!
ScreaminEagle Posted November 22, 2014 Posted November 22, 2014 If the shoe fits, wear it. Some people cannot handle the truth.
Author Evening Posted November 22, 2014 Author Posted November 22, 2014 (edited) Is it wrong? I mean if iI really enjoy having sex with random guys who I feel connected to does it mean that I am a s***? But what if women are not meant that way? What if there is a hidden meaning why some girls like to have sex? I mean maybe there is hole in their heart and they do not know how to ask normal relationships? Or they are so used to that the normal relationships with men did not work out, poor women. Like for example when a girl likes to have a bf who spends his time with him but there is no one who can really offer her what she is needing? What the casual sex is all about? Just the excitement? New people? Compatible energy? What do you think? Edited November 22, 2014 by Evening
ScreaminEagle Posted November 22, 2014 Posted November 22, 2014 Is it wrong? I mean if iI really enjoy having sex with random guys who I feel connected to does it mean that I am a s***? But what if women are not meant that way? What if there is a hidden meaning why some girls like to have sex? I mean maybe there is hole in their heart and they do not know how to ask normal relationships? Or they are so used to that the normal relationships with men did not work out, poor women. Like for example when a girl likes to have a bf who spends his time with him but there is no one who can really offer her what she is needing? What the casual sex is all about? Just the excitement? New people? Compatible energy? What do you think? The irony. A random guy who you are connected to, yet you have no clue who he is or what his name is. What type of connection are you concocting ?
Author Evening Posted November 22, 2014 Author Posted November 22, 2014 The irony. A random guy who you are connected to, yet you have no clue who he is or what his name is. What type of connection are you concocting ? Good point. Seems like we are finding the root issue. My inner me is in a mess. I would like to be in a relationship, but I enjoy my own time and freedom. Usually when I got home from work I am exhausted. At the same time I hate being alone in a long time, it does not feel healthy for me. I enjoy getting to know new people, but I am worried that maybe I would get tired of being with someone who is very controlling and clingy. I have had experiences when it comes to control and being clingy. Both destroy my freedom. Maybe thats why in my head I think that I rather enjoy random guys then being with someone who could let me down. Now I just do not know what to do or what I like or what should I do. I just should make my mind up what I really want. So I could more focus on what I really want rather than wandering aimlessly.
Tayken Posted November 22, 2014 Posted November 22, 2014 Congrats! There is nothing wrong with one night stands! Everyone should have great sex. I was in a FWB relationship for more than a year, he was the best sex partner I've ever had, I got too attached, when he just wanted no strings. It was tough to let my sex buddy go. Oh well, I went out to a club last night and saw a swarm of single guys that I could distract myself with. If I recall from you past post, it was him that stopped contacting you? Call me old fashioned but I like to know at least the first name of a person I'm going to sleep with. Hello old fashion....you are indeed correct. Is it wrong? I mean if iI really enjoy having sex with random guys who I feel connected to does it mean that I am a s***?You asked and I'll bite.....to you may be not, but to the people doing the banging YES. Words do get round, and get what he is telling his buddies down the pub and what their reaction will be like.
LisaSmith_1970 Posted November 22, 2014 Posted November 22, 2014 Good point. Seems like we are finding the root issue. My inner me is in a mess. I would like to be in a relationship, but I enjoy my own time and freedom. Usually when I got home from work I am exhausted. At the same time I hate being alone in a long time, it does not feel healthy for me. I enjoy getting to know new people, but I am worried that maybe I would get tired of being with someone who is very controlling and clingy. I have had experiences when it comes to control and being clingy. Both destroy my freedom. Maybe thats why in my head I think that I rather enjoy random guys then being with someone who could let me down. Now I just do not know what to do or what I like or what should I do. I just should make my mind up what I really want. So I could more focus on what I really want rather than wandering aimlessly. I sooo agree with you! Committed relationships can be exhausted, I understand about having no freedom and wanting to be alone sometimes, and just having fun, so it does not make you a slut! Sex is good. As long as you're clean. If you are fine having a no strings attached relationship then go for it, meanwhile maybe you can go on a few dates also. The downside of having random sex is not going to to places, like dinner, movies, it would be nice to do fun stuff together once in awhile.
Tayken Posted November 22, 2014 Posted November 22, 2014 Now I just do not know what to do or what I like or what should I do. I just should make my mind up what I really want. So I could more focus on what I really want rather than wandering aimlessly. This here is what many women struggle with, especially the ones on OLD. If you are able to get past this i.e. self awareness, then it's easy to move forward. As to the "clingy" / "controlling", this is all subjective really and most again get this mixed up with what the other person might be asking, which is for you to put your selfish attitude aside, and start thinking for two people now that you are in a relationship / married. Married women sometimes still want to live like they are single, but want all the other benefits of being married. You can't have it both ways, and hence the reason why some men look elsewhere where there is less drama.
Coe Posted November 22, 2014 Posted November 22, 2014 Just live your life as you want, don't worry about what people call you or think of you. That is their problem. As long as you are happy. Some people seem to think women can't possibly enjoy sex if it isn't in a committed relationship, that is simply not true and women have the same physical needs as a guy. Who is anyone to judge how you get those needs met. 99% of those judgemental people will be sitting in their house masterbation to porn because they aren't good looking enough or fun enough to get casual sex. I wouldn't let one of these people bother you.
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