DirtyHairy Posted November 22, 2014 Posted November 22, 2014 Well for a while I've been really into my friend and she has been into me a lot too and we hang out all the time. Things have went well with us and I finally kissed her the other day which I'm super happy about it was a pretty great kiss and she obviously was into it. Hung out with her a few other times since and have kissed her at the end of all those days and dates. Anyways now I'm sort of stuck at this weird spot. I just want to be me and not change because we kissed which I'm fine with but I want to make sure I am doing this thing right and I'm sort of over thinking it in my head. I Just want to know how you people would progress the "relationship" if you can call it that. Its not the way I've normally gone about things so its entirly new to me, I want to kiss her when we are just hanging out not only at the end of the night and things like that. Just not sure exactly how to progress it. Might be a vague question or post but I don't want to ruin anything because she's great and we get along really well and I like her so much. I've been burned in the past and I'd like to do it right this time so I'm not to in her face about the relationship and seem needy/clingy etc and so far I've done a good job with everything but I don't want to go to slow. Any advice would be really helpful. I really like this girl and I don't want to over think everything but I need some advice on how I should be going about things.
Author DirtyHairy Posted November 22, 2014 Author Posted November 22, 2014 I'm stressing myself out about this. I think I over think too much....lol I just don't want to crowd her but I don't want to go to slow either. I kind of want to ask her about it and what she wants and like ask her if its okay if I kiss her and hold hands in public and stuff but that. Might be a bad idea to ask her that because that might freak her out or make me sound stupid if I ask that I'm not sure. Maybe she will be like "well dur obviously you can hold my hand in public" and then look at me like I'm stupid lol I'm freakin out help please! I don't wanna fudge it up!
preraph Posted November 22, 2014 Posted November 22, 2014 Don't ask her. You already know it's okay to kiss her. Just do it when you two are alone at appropriate times and don't always make it into a deep makeout session. Just give her a quick kiss sometimes and don't make it look like you're only doing it to lead to having sex. Just be nice and take her on dates when you can and hang out some. Hold her hand for awhile but definitely not all the time. Don't just take it and keep it. Don't do it so long it gets awkward, in other words. Do it when it makes sense, like crossing the street or arm around her at the movies or at home with tv. Common times to kiss your girlfriend are when you first see her that day and when you're leaving for the day and when you're curled up on the couch or whatever. Don't be doing it out in public like at the mall or store unless it's just a quick kiss, and don't hang all over her in those type public places. Moderation is the key.
Author DirtyHairy Posted November 22, 2014 Author Posted November 22, 2014 Don't ask her. You already know it's okay to kiss her. Just do it when you two are alone at appropriate times and don't always make it into a deep makeout session. Just give her a quick kiss sometimes and don't make it look like you're only doing it to lead to having sex. Just be nice and take her on dates when you can and hang out some. Hold her hand for awhile but definitely not all the time. Don't just take it and keep it. Don't do it so long it gets awkward, in other words. Do it when it makes sense, like crossing the street or arm around her at the movies or at home with tv. Common times to kiss your girlfriend are when you first see her that day and when you're leaving for the day and when you're curled up on the couch or whatever. Don't be doing it out in public like at the mall or store unless it's just a quick kiss, and don't hang all over her in those type public places. Moderation is the key. Thanks. I think your right about the moderation part and not being to over the top. I mean I have been over the top with affection in past relationships and I dont want to do that again because I think it probably pushes people away. She's a really independent girl and I actually am not sure exactly what she is looking for or what we are (id say casually dating is the right term?) which is why I was thinking of asking her but again that would probably push her away. I geuss I'll stick to hanging out with her 2 or so times a week like normal and try to kiss her a bit more but not over the top and then just try to let things flow naturally. I have a hard time with that but I see the benefits of just doing what feels right and not over thinking everything.
Author DirtyHairy Posted November 25, 2014 Author Posted November 25, 2014 Well a little update here: Saw her a few times in class and everything seems fine but I haven't been able to figure out how she feels. Didn't kiss her when we parted after classes etc. Haven't been able to set up another date yet either she's busy I guess. I am really tempted to ask her something like this: "Was just wondering if we can talk and figure out what we are. I like you alot and want to make sure were on the same page and I'd like to keep seeing you. Just want to be clear what's going on" I just am having a hard time with this because I don't know what she's feeling, like we kissed a few times but haven't in a bit and haven't spent time together alone so is she thinking it was a mistake??? I just don't want to freak her out by asking her what we are doing but I kind of need to know? Should I do that? Really need some help with this
RSval Posted November 26, 2014 Posted November 26, 2014 I feel your pain man. Been there before. I can imagine how anxious you're feeling right now. Well, from my experience it's best to state your intentions. But here's how you should go about doing it. 1) Since you've kissed and are still hanging out, it means that she's still cool with you. So now, you gotta take the lead. No one likes not knowing clearly where they are going. People like clarity and certainty ( to a certain degree). 2) Taking the lead means organising dates that show her you are more than just a make-out buddy. These dates should help paint a picture for her showing her how serious you are about her. ( Use your imagination and creativity with this one ) 3) During the date itself, don't just jump into the whole confession part, but take it slow and pace it out. Bring the date to a nice high point where the two of you are really lost in the moment and enjoying yourselves. Then, tell her what you like about her and how you feel about her. There you go my man, hope it helps. Nonetheless, keep up the good spirits for this holiday season and wishing you all the best!
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