HowMightI-live Posted November 21, 2014 Posted November 21, 2014 It's been about 3 months since me and my ex stopped speaking. Before that, we had already broken up but was still sleeping together and trying to figure out whether or not we could save the relationship. She was the one who initiated the break up and we had been together prior to that for 2 years. We had also dated briefly in high school for about a year but broke up a couple of days before graduation and spent some time apart before reuniting about a year later. All together i knew her for about 4 years. She was someone i thought would be apart of my life forever. During our time together we talked about kids and marriage..we were just so happy for a while. After we broke up we spent about 6 months going back and forth from trying to work things through to fighting and blaming one another for the break up. She started growing distant and this angered me dearly. It seemed like the more i fought for her the further away she became. I would leave her erratic voicemails and bombard her with texts from morning to night. I would threaten that i had finally had it and was moving on. Nothing helped. She continued to ignore. Finally, I stopped bothering her. 30 days of NC later she texts, i won't bore you with how many times this happened. The reuniting, fighting, not speaking, and then reunting again. Every time we would go into the NC she would always initiate contact within a month and then we would see each other because we had missed each other and make love, and make promises that we would never keep. We spent months in this cycle. Everytime she left it felt as if she was taking a chuck of my soul with her. But at the same time i knew she would be back eventually. That i would get to kiss her eventually and hold her. Its been 3 months, though. We have never been in nc this long. The crazy part is this was the only time we hadnt stopped speaking on bad terms. Every single time before this we would get into some soft of fight and she would basically start ignoring me. This time nothing really happened, she had reached out and told me she missed me. She had high lightened some of her issues with me, we were rational and spoke respectfully to one another and then about 2 days later she just stopped texting me and its been 3 months now. I miss her a lot. Smetimes i think she must miss me because we have so much history and we had so many beautiful times together but then sometimes i feel like she probably met someone else and forgot about me. I really do want to text her happy thanksgiving but at the same time i feel like that might not be a good idea. I dont know what to do with this pain or the love i still feel for her. I Don't know what to do with the memories or how to stop the nightmares. I dont know how to go on. it feels like i should be over this but im just not. I went out for a night of clubbing with some of my friends and i did end of talking to a couple of girls but i just wasn't interested and all i could think about and see was her. I guess my question under all the pointless venting is should i text her on thanksgiving? Do you think she misses me?
love2ride Posted November 21, 2014 Posted November 21, 2014 I would not text her. Its a viscous cycle I've been through. It gets worse evrytime. You need to let go. Nobody said its easy. ITs not.
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