CloudOfReverie Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 I've known this guy for 6 months and we've been seeing each other for 3, but we aren't an official couple. We've both told each other that we really like each other and we get on really well. It is he who mostly initiates contact and he always responds and always has time for me. We are intimate so it's usually him asking me to come round to his and this has caused me to have doubts if that's all he wants. I'd still like to maintain that while doing nice things like going out for meals,drinks etc. But it seems now he has gotten that aspect of me he doesn't need to take me out. The last time we saw each other and had been itimate we were talking and he asked me questions like if I was seeing anyone, if I'd met anyone else and if I was his. Foolishly I didn't give him an answer and kinda gotta a little irritated saying I hate when guys ask that question. Why? Because there was a guy before who I was interested in and when his attention started fading I asked what was up and he said he wasn't ready for commitment. I accepted that but still continued to see him but he would always ask if I was seeing anyone else and it would really bother me. Another guy I used to date used to ask the same. So you could say I associate that question with guys who don't want you but don't want anyone else to have you. Back to the new guy. I stayed the night his, watching films, ordering food and just having fun and we left to go to work the next morning. A few days later I received a text from him saying he hadn't received a msg and asked if I was disappointed. I told him no and how amazing I thought he was etc. 2 times after that we wanted to meet but our schedules didn't match, then he went away for a few weeks. He got in touch as soon as he got back saying he told me he hoped to see me soon and I told him the same. Later that day I had a problem with my phone so I was no longer able to receive text messages. On Sunday I was on a dating site (separate from where we met) looking through my views when I saw his picture, he had made a brand new account and had looked at my profile. I didn't look at his account so he doesn't know I know he knows he saw me on there. He has been accessing the site every day since. Because my phone was playing up I spent the next few days worrying what, if anything he had text me. After a few days I got the phone running again and had received a few texts from him that were sent after he had seen my profile. One of them sexual and another 2 days asking when he was seeing me again. I responded and he again asked when I was free. Now I really need to talk to him about what we want from each other because it continue as it is when we both know what we know. He isn't going to say anything, so it is up to me. I'm just wondering if he signed up because he doesn't think I'm into him or because he isn't that into me. Likewise he is probably thinking I'm on the site because I'm not into him and after I avoided his questions. I know this is a mess I created, but I don't know which is the best way to bring it up with him?
d0nnivain Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Open a bottle of wine & say "as much as I hate the 'where are we?' conversations I think we need to have one." In your mind you need to have some clue what you want from him -- exclusivity with the profiles gone? What you have now? Something else? You also need to make it clear you would like to actually "date" as in leave the house & do things in public together. Ask him if he could organize something for you two for your next meeting.
Assasda Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 The whole post was a little convoluted. The guy is jealous and insecure, why would you want to go out with him anyway?
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