Anja Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 I don't think I have felt this much pain my entire life. My boyfriend who was also my bestfriend for the last 8 years broke up with me a week and a half ago because he said he's been unhappy and he doesn't love me and care for me "that way" anymore. I was caught of guard because I thought we were doing great lately (before the argument that lead to the break up) we have been having issues in the past because he can be cold at times and can sometimes act as a jerk towards me and this hurts my feelings and so this would start an argument. We just got back from a vacation abroad a month and a half ago, we had so much fun, I thought we were in love and were so happy. A week after we got back, we had an argument about something small, that's when he started to withdraw from me and I tried to get him to talk to me but he just kept pulling away and finally about two weeks after the argument that's when he came to me and told me how he was unhappy and he needed space. I was paranoid, I was so inlove with him, so I made a mistake of not giving him his space and begged him to work things out with me but he said he just doesn't care anymore, so a week later I couldn't take it anymore because he was being such a jerk and was trying so hard to push me away, so I asked him what he really wants and he said he wants to break up. So I left. I thought I was fine at first but this has been so tough. So, we didn't talk for about a week and then I had to go to his house to pack my things. At first I was a little cold because I was mad, he asked for a hug and I gave him a short hug, he said "I know hugs are painful, not doing that again." I was quiet and then he was making coffee and made me some and we started talking about normal things and we were kind of laughing and was fine for a little bit. When we went upstairs to start packing my things up, we stood there in front of each other not knowing what to say or do, just stood there. Then, I started crying, he hugged me so tight and told me it's okay, I can cry. He never let go and just kept hugging me so tightly as I continue to cry my heart out. He keeps rubbing my back and I feel like he was in pain seeing me cry, he actually made a comment about he doesn't wanna hurt me anymore, although he knows he's already done that. He also said he hates to see me cry but at the same time throws at me that he doesn't love me like that or care for me like that anymore. I asked him when did it start, and he said a couple of arguments ago before we even went on vacation, but he never showed any signs. I feel like he is lying to me and to himself. I know for a fact that he can be an egomaniac and he's one of those guys who can't accept their faults and instead turn things around to make you feel bad for calling them out or something like that. He keeps telling me how much he doesn't love me, but I will catch him staring at me, looking at me, hugging me so tight, or changes his mind and tries to be distant but as soon as I start crying, he comes and hugs me. Also, he said all he's been doing is drinking, hanging out with friends and working out to keep himself busy and told me to keep myself busy too so I don't hurt as much. Anyway, sorry this is too long, I guess my point is, if he's not in love with me anymore and doesn't care anymore, why would he have a hard time (although he keeps emphasizing that it's not that hard for him, or he wouldn't talk about how hard it's been for him) I feel like he is trying to convince himself that he doesn't love me anymore and wants me out of his life. This is long enough for now, what do you guys think? I am just lost right now and I want someone else's perspective. I'll be happy to answer questions and can give more details later. Thank you so much!!
Elfend Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 I am so sorry to hear that babe! I was recently dumped by my girl friend of 8 years too so I know exactly how you feel and what you are going through .. Best thing to do is give him and your self some space and stay no contact for a bit and think things out. He may be confused and not exactly sure what he wants at the moment .. Such as a quarter life crisis or something. Word of advise, stay active and occupy your time with some activities and cool off first. There may be other reasons behind the break up that you may not acknowledge.
Recommended Posts