joebrowndown Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Whenever I get dumped I just give up. I never try to talk or work it out, no matter how much I like or love them. Sometimes I want to try to fight to keep it going but just dont Anyone ever tried to keep it going and was successful?
Invictus01 Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Whenever I get dumped I just give up. I never try to talk or work it out, no matter how much I like or love them. Sometimes I want to try to fight to keep it going but just dont Anyone ever tried to keep it going and was successful? Yeah, I have. Never works. Ever. Only in Hollywood. Gotta let it go and whatever happens happens.
RedButton Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 I'm 20 days into a breakup and so tempted every day to text or email and try to work things out or get back together, but I've been holding strong in not making contact. I also know that I'm still too raw to know what I really want, I'm determined to keep at least two months before making any decisions or trying to contact in any way.
d0nnivain Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Once. He dumped me out of the blue, from my perspective. The night he broke it off I honestly thought he was coming over to propose so boy was I up-ended. I gave it a day, then called him sobbing & begging. Somehow I convinced him to try again. We lasted another few weeks because it just wasn't the same. I broke up with somebody. The sticking point had been marriage. He tried to win me back: flowers, promises, sweet talk, etc but no proposal. By the time he set about the wooing I was already so hurt & so angry that I couldn't see any of the nice gestures; everything he did just pissed me off. Had he done 25% of the things he tried to get me back while we were still dating, I might not have walked away. By the time he did them it was too little too late.
somedude81 Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 My first GF dumped me last year. I tried for months to get her back but she wouldn't have none of it. She refused to see me in person or even talk on the phone.
Jenmarie Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Yeah, I tried years ago when I was younger (18, to be exact). I thought if I continued to chase, be sweet, and show him how much I love him that I would be able to win his heart back. Even though he was still open to being friends and talking regularly, it wasn't working at all. He was well aware of how I felt, so showing him did absolutely nothing. Chasing someone just looks really bad in most cases. I tried to get him back for 4 months straight. Nothing worked. So, I finally decided enough was enough, and removed him off everything, said goodbye. He ended up contacting me two months later and wanting to reconcile and get back together, but I was already moving on and seeing someone else. Though I still had feelings, I wanted to have fun with new people and not deal with the heartbreak of chasing him anymore even if he wanted me. Now I no longer chase. I calmly accept what is happening, and respect their decision and remove them from everything and go straight into NC immediately. I did this with my boyfriend when he wanted to break up, and it seemed like he respected it a lot more if I was rational. He ended up regretting his decision and came back. We pulled through and worked through our problems. So I learned the hard way, chasing never solves anything. You need to always put yourself first and do the best for you despite your feelings for someone else. 1
Nyc_user Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Yeah, I tried years ago when I was younger (18, to be exact). are you in the avatar?
Jimmyjackson Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Definitely don't chase, there's a very slim chance the dumper comes back, if that chance is to come it will be through NC. People want what they can't have, stay confident and you'll have plenty of options.
Invictus01 Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 I chased a girl a couple of years ago. I did get her back, we stayed together for a couple of months, she dumped me again. At that point I just was so spent I said "screw it" and disappeared. Texted her 3 months later with something, then disappeared again. 6 months later out of sheer boredom (cause I was completely over her... and had a few drinks), I texted her with some stupid crap, she immediately replied and wanted to meet up that night. We met up and she told me that she went back to her ex (who treated her like crap and she would NEVER go back to) for 7 months until the same reasons came up and she walked away again. Oh, she also wanted me back 'cause I was "the best sweetest guy she ever dated". I just laughed at it and gave her the same "friends" talk she gave me 10 months earlier. Never saw her again. Got a "let's be friends" conversation this past weekend from the girl I have been seeing the last 6 months. No chasing this time. I'm done as crappy as it makes me feel!
me85 Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Ya, I mean I fell apart and all that. I pined over my ex. It was pathetic. I always swallow my pride when it comes to matters of the heart but I will never fall apart over another guy for as long as I live. It just isn't worth it. I never really chased after an ex but I have tried to reconcile once or twice.
DrReplyInRhymes Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 I once heard a saying defining "worry", and maybe you can compare. "Worrying is like a rocking chair, gives you something to do but doesn't get you anywhere". I feel like you can substitute chasing for worry in this case, And realize sooner rather than later that you should never try to chase.
Xidion Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 (edited) I chased after the same girl 2 times. The first time we got into an argument and she went to her parents house. I dropped off flowers and a card that she said made her cry. She came back the next day. The second time, I found out she was talking to another guy for 3 weeks. I went to her work the next day and arranged a time to meet and talk. We talked it... She said it was a big mistake. I forgave her and took her back. The mistake was me chasing her the second time. She left me a couple months later (20 days ago). Because she was talking to another guy. Basically she saw that I would take her back no matter what she did so she used me until she found someone else to fulfill her need for attention. You're better off going no contact. If they come back.. you want it to be on their own accord so they get the idea that you aren't needy. I exposed my weakness so she used it. Edited November 20, 2014 by Xidion
me85 Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 I chased after the same girl 2 times. The first time we got into an argument and she went to her parents house. I dropped off flowers and a card that she said made her cry. She came back the next day. The second time, I found out she was talking to another guy for 3 weeks. I went to her work the next day and arranged a time to meet and talk. We talked it... She said it was a big mistake. I forgave her and took her back. The mistake was me chasing her the second time. She left me a couple months later (20 days ago). Because she was talking to another guy. Basically she saw that I would take her back no matter what she did so she used me until she found someone else to fulfill her need for attention. You're better off going no contact. If they come back.. you want it to be on their own accord so they get the idea that you aren't needy. I exposed my weakness so she used it. Funny how they do that, huh? Your ex and my ex sound very similar.
RedButton Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Is there a difference between chasing and asking for a second chance? Like if it's been a couple of months since the breakup and no contact and one party contacts the other to say they'd like to try again and work things out, is that considered chasing or bad form? I just wonder if there are occassions where both parties kind of want to get back together but are both too stubborn and waiting for the other to make the first move.
Invictus01 Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Is there a difference between chasing and asking for a second chance? Like if it's been a couple of months since the breakup and no contact and one party contacts the other to say they'd like to try again and work things out, is that considered chasing or bad form? I just wonder if there are occassions where both parties kind of want to get back together but are both too stubborn and waiting for the other to make the first move. Only if the request is coming from the dumper.
lemonsugar Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Never chase i run the other way. Had a couple of exs that then called normally after 30 days one kept chasing 18 months his disappeared at the moment! and I never picked up the phone. For me if you dont want me in your life thats fine. Im out of there. Current ex day 21 NC think Day 25 of break up heard nothing its a good feeling most of the time. I still hurt but im getting there! Turns out when you dont want them they want you sometimes! Think they expect the girl to go all crazy text and calling when you go the other way they get a bit confused. Also Ithe space gives you time to think and looking back there are normally issues that you wouldnt go back to!
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